And the soap opera keeps on going...
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85464)
United States
April 17, 2017 3:45pm CST
So my uncle (my mom's late brother, 60) had to go into the hospital. Weirdly, instead of calling 911 himself, he called his housekeeper, who then called 911, and then he was admitted. He was kept several days, on a blood thinner because of blood clots. As you know, he refuses to get to a home, or even rehab, so he got himself into a position that caused himself blood clot issues (several family members who are normally kind to a fault, voiced disappointment anyone had called 911 for him). So, he's telling my grandmother (80, who is in the assisted living facility) that he knows he needs help, and he'll be getting help. And then, they release him, and he goes home. He decides he's fine how things are, and he won't go anywhere or ask a professional company to provide aid...He just wants someone to wait on him, and since my grandmother made it impossible for it to be her anymore (by selling her house next door to his, and even her car), it's been the housekeeper.
Well, she quit. I know what he paid her, and it was fair, to a point. The thing is not the money, it's the hours. You can't pay enough to be on call 24/7. You can't have someone calling you at 3am, wanting you to come over and change his clothes because he "went" in them. So, she quit. This also makes sure she can't steal anything else from my grandmother's house.
And if you think I'm being too hard on him, I'm sorry I can't bear to recap again to tell you why I'm not. It's too long of a story for me!
This whole thing sounds so trashy. It's amazing to me, that my mother comes from the same blood as my uncle. I can't think of anyone else on either side of my family that is like my uncle.
Still more has happened, but these posts seem to get so long.
18 people like this
19 responses
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
17 Apr 17
I just read your last post about the housekeeper and then came to this one. Well thank goodness the housekeeper is out of the picture now - the disappearing stuff and changed locks really did sound a bit fishy. I don't think you're being hard on him . . . he's just being impossible. Sooner or later he's not going to have many options left - no one is going to wait on him hand and foot like he wants it. I'm so sorry your family is going through this!5 people like this
@rebelann (111163)
• El Paso, Texas
2 Jul 19
The elderly with medical issues can be very stubborn at times @much2say it also means his family should have gotten together to force him to accept help. I remember when mom became that stubborn but she was in her late 80s when she got that way.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
18 Apr 17
I'm addicted to this saga. It's like a soap opera, but it's real life. I'm surprised the hospital let him go home knowing there's no one there to take care of him.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
18 Apr 17
@AmbiePam goodness... There may come a time where someone calls social services to step in.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
26 Apr 17
Did your uncle seem this selfish when he was younger and able to take care of himself? I remember the last ten years of my granny's life, she was cantankerous as all get out. We had lots of problems with her. She refused to take a bath and of course dementia and then Alzheimer's played havoc on her mental state. It sounds as if he will be in the hospital again shortly. Perhaps someone one from social services should get involved. If he cannot take care of himself and is too stubborn to admit it, then perhaps he needs a legal intervention?
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85464)
• United States
26 Apr 17
Yes, he was that selfish. He got married 3 times and all 3 times he blamed on them. He stole his parents medication as well as mine, and some of his in laws. He lied and said he had lupus, and he convinced my grandmother to pay his child support. My grandmother enabled him, but he was selfish from the get go.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
30 Apr 17
@AmbiePam Ding Ding Ding, your uncle is the winner of the selfish award! I am glad he can no longer take advantage of your grandmother.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14558)
• United States
20 Apr 17
I do understand what you're saying. I don't know what to say about this. Now he's alone and he'll either do for himself or end up back in the hospital again for another problem. It's such a difficult situation to watch, even from my vantage point.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157552)
• United States
21 Apr 17
Amber we can go back and read other posts if we need to in order to catch up.It is okay not to recap. Adult protective services can be helpful and possibly have him declared a danger to himself. That would get him put into a home.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85464)
• United States
17 Apr 17
He had back injuries, but he abused his medication. So he'd be high, and continually fall. Which resulted in him undoing any good his back surgeries might have done. He caused himself to need shoulder surgery, and got to where he wouldn't go to the doctor at all, which resulted in him being where he is. He made himself almost incapable of walking, and refuses help other than pain medications. I mean I cannot count how many times his being high on meds got him injured.
@OreoBrownie (3755)
• Commerce, Georgia
20 Apr 17
They say there is a bad apple in every bunch. Well, since the housekeeper quit that narrows the playing field. He'll have to go to per1sonal care home or a nursing home. Either one, he won't be waited on hand and foot.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
22 Apr 17
I will be reading as I get to them, I think every family has some troubles but my mother had the fix for that - she said when I was thinking of getting married, to move far far away from both families so we would have a chance to become our own adults without the "help" of the family. We did that, we moved to Kansas ( from NY and Mass.) and lived there for a long time and loved being away from family. Loved visiting, but glad to go home after.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
18 Apr 17
I'm glad the housekeeper is history. Many families have members that we wish weren't in our family. You just have one worse than mine. I hope it gets better soon.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
19 Apr 17
The housekeeper was stealing from your Grandmas house too Ambie?
Yeah I understand you totally. You know how I also feel about those who would use my Mom..it is sickening.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (246720)
• United States
19 Apr 17
I've been keeping up with many of these posts. You really need to step away now. I think you are getting yourself so stressed out and that won't be good for you! I'm so sorry for you and your family. At least that thief of a housekeeper is gone!
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
17 Apr 17
Sorry for all the drama. Can the county (or is it another agency? I don't know) see to it that he is put in home? It certainly seems like he needs around the clock care....
