How The Horse blew himself up this morning

@TheHorse (48539)
Pleasant Hill, California
April 19, 2017 1:12pm CST
My beloved pseudo-railroad lantern stopped working the other night. I thought it had died, but closer inspection revealed that I had simply run out of wick. Putting the new wick in was going to be another project for me and my 8-year-old neighbor buddy. Measuring the opening, we couldn't tell if it was 1/2" or 3/8", so I opted for the smaller size and ordered some on-line (after some failed visits to Hobby Lobby, Home Depot and Ace Hardware). This morning, I finally got around to opening the package. I knew immediately that I should have ordered the 1/2" wick. The 3/8" was skinnier that what I'd had in there before. I decided to put the new wick in without the kid there, just to be safe. As I had feared, the flamed climbed down the wick and into the chamber containing Tiki Torch Fuel, which exploded, bathing me in flaming liquid. I screamed, and suddenly everything was black and white, like an old WWII film. I stumbled around the balcony on fire, and then fell, in a black and white 360, to my untimely death on the pavement below. Actually, that didn't happen. But I am worried that the wick does seem to be burning rather fast, and that the air being admitted by the 1/16" gap on either side of the wick may lead to faster burning. But then again, only the air above the chamber matters, so maybe it's just that the skinnier wick burns a bit faster. Does anyone have experience with lanterns like these? Are you glad that the Horse did not really fall to a flaming death, like the stuntmen in old black and white movies?
23 people like this
23 responses
@pgntwo (19611)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
19 Apr
I wonder if Sir Humphry Davy faced such challenges?
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4 people like this
@pgntwo (19611)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
19 Apr
@TheHorse That, or a canary in a cage... They didn't mention that in The Lost Boys... Or Indiana Jones.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
@pgntwo Yep, I've heard of the canary in a cage.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (20868)
• United States
27 Apr
@pgntwo How do we find out which hospital an ambulance took pony to? His experiment exploded! See my box!
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (60118)
• Canada
19 Apr
Even though this was hilarious.....I am glad that you didn't go up in flames!!
4 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
Thanks! I changed the picture. I'm now conducting an experiment to see how long it will burn without me adjusting the wick. I might go up in flames yet.
5 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (60118)
• Canada
19 Apr
@TheHorse Cool picture!! Be careful!!
3 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
@Happy2BeMe I got at east 10 mins out of it without adjusting anything, then I put it out. I'm going to repeat the experiment when it's not sunny to see if the bottom chamber heats up at all. I don't want that.
4 people like this
@much2say (32950)
• United States
19 Apr
I was thinking dang . . . the Horse went through all that and lived to tell about it in this post . Well be careful with that lantern of yours!!
3 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
Oh, I will! After I turn in a few progress notes. I'm going to see if the bottom part heats up when it's lit. I don't think the bottom part is supposed to heat up. Heat goes UP!
3 people like this
@much2say (32950)
• United States
19 Apr
@TheHorse As long as the Horse doesn't burn UP !
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
@much2say I don't want to suffer the same fate as my ex-girlfriends. (whistling emoji)
2 people like this
@UncleJoe (7183)
• Virginia Beach, Virginia
19 Apr
Working on those lanterns can be a wicked job!
3 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
Mine's kind of sticky to "open and "close." But I put about a foot of wick in there, so hopefully I won't have to change it again for awhile. No pun intended.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (20868)
• United States
25 Apr
Hmmm... let me get back to you later on... I want to go get my yard chair and set it up for the coming show from your balcony!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
25 Apr
10-9-8-7-6-5-4...
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (20868)
• United States
27 Apr
@TheHorse ...3...2...1... KaBLAM! pony? Are you alright, pony? SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE! HURRY! PONY IS HURT! No, they don't have ambulances for ponies! I don't care! GET HIM TO THE HORSPITAL! Don't worry, pony! They will take good care of you!
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (19611)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
27 Apr
@DaddyEvil What do you call an ambulance...?
1 person likes this
• Ponce De Leon, Florida
19 Apr
I was worried there for a minute. I can't imagine burning horse smells good. In all seriousness, glad you're okay.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
When properly prepared, it might taste good. But, for obvious reasons I'm not into burning horses up, even for culinary purposes.
1 person likes this
• Ponce De Leon, Florida
19 Apr
@TheHorse I don't think there could possibly be a proper way to prepare it.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
@thislittlepennyearns I've had so many really good friends who were horses, I'm not sure I could eat one. I love chickens too, but that's different. Aren't there some countries where horses are a delicacy?
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31185)
• United States
19 Apr
I am very glad that the Horse is still alive and not flambéed! I would not use the lantern until I got the proper sized wick. Be sure to let your little buddy know what happened so he will not make the same mistake!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
What do you think might happen? I'm experimenting with it now.
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31185)
• United States
19 Apr
@TheHorse I think it will just burn faster and you'll spend more than you would if you'd gotten the right size. Walmart carried wicks and mantels last time I was in their camping department, have you tried them? This will show your friend how important it is to plan ahead and have what he needs put aside before he might need it.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
@dragon54u Do we have a Walmart around here? I'm not sure. I'll check Michaels first.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (31893)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
19 Apr
Knowing me, I'd just buy a new one. Sorry, I got nothing.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
I'll use this until I make it to Michaels (unless I blow up first). @LisaSteinmetz said they probably have them there.
1 person likes this
• San Jose, California
22 Apr
@TheHorse Check the candle making section at Michael's. I know they have wider wicks there, but I don't know if they'll be what you need or not.
@Corbin5 (70139)
• United States
19 Apr
I have never used a lantern like that. I would definitely have a fire-hazard on my hands with a lantern like that. Yes, glad you are still with us!!!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
So far, I'm still here. I put it away for now, as I'm heading into work soon to print out some progress notes.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (25482)
• Anniston, Alabama
19 Apr
Whew! you did have me going, glad you did not do the stunts this morning. No I just use open fire
2 people like this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
19 Apr
I'd be a mess if I pulled one of those stunts now. I always wondered how those guys did the falling off of a building thing without getting hurt.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (108940)
• Switzerland
20 Apr
We have a similar lantern, that we keep just in case of a blackout. I think that it's better to use the right size to avoid the risk of explosion. Of course as you were telling us what happened, I knew you did not blow yourself this morning.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
I've thought of that when I read first person murder mysteries. You know the guy telling the story can't die.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (108940)
• Switzerland
20 Apr
@TheHorse Exactly, if he is telling the story, he cannot die.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
@LadyDuck I suppose one could be telling the story from the grave. I bet that's been used.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (11902)
• Fairfield, Texas
20 Apr
I'm strictly a battery-operated, lantern girl @TheHorse . I did have a fuel-based one but it scared the heck out of me.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
To be practical (in case the "big one" kills our power for a few days) I should probably get a battery-operated one too. This one is just so I can watch a flame when I chill in the evenings.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (11902)
• Fairfield, Texas
20 Apr
@TheHorse Just don't "watch" it too close.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
@nanette64 Yeah, I'll keep it at a safe distance. I don't want to burn my house down either. I'd miss my guitars.
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4846)
20 Apr
You always have ways with phrases and words. But at least you are safe.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
I suggest adding some tomatoes, onions, and green peppers, and putting me on a skewer.
20 Apr
@TheHorse I have some here. It will be an awesome barbecue.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
@diosabella I'm sure I taste "just like chicken."
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (21015)
• United States
22 Apr
We actually found two in the attic of our West Virginia house, but we haven't used them.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
22 Apr
Are they old school oil lanterns?
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (21015)
• United States
22 Apr
@TheHorse they appear to be very old. when we finish restoring the house I think I will display them by the fireplace.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
25 Apr
@Tampa_girl7 That sounds nice! Take a picture.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (42077)
• United States
19 Apr
they have some great battery operated lantern.I have a couple we use this for camping or the power go out in some places. Better than bother with wick and the oil.I have a few here.But had enough of it
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
Save them for me! For practicality, I should get a battery-operated one. But I like watching a flickering flame when I play guitar on my balcony in the Summers.
@amadeo (42077)
• United States
20 Apr
@Lupita234 yes,they are
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
@amadeo I bet you have a fireplace!
• United States
20 Apr
WE have lamps like that but we don't use them, just decoration! Our lanterns are battery.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
I enjoy watching a flickering flame. But for practical use, I should get a battery operated lantern. I'm sure Coleman make a good one.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr
@TheHorse ours are Coleman that my husband must have bought 40 years ago!
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (28442)
• Momence, Illinois
20 Apr
We have a couple of Coleman lanterns but they use mantles
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
I have one of those up in Montana. It's from my childhood days (or maybe before) but it still works.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (28442)
• Momence, Illinois
23 Apr
@TheHorse they work pretty good.
@JudyEv (90199)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Apr
This isn't the first time your readers have been led down the garden path and 'witnessed' your demise! There is another post up about these old lanterns too. I remember them well.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
20 Apr
I don't have a fireplace, or a fire pit, here in CA. But I do like watching a flickering flame.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (90199)
• Bunbury, Australia
25 Apr
@TheHorse We always enjoy sitting in front of our fire although it is enclosed.
@PatZAnthony (11756)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
7 May
It is very nice that you did not actually experience the event described here @TheHorse We don't use Tiki Torch fuel in ours, but guessing it would be okay.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
7 May
What do you use? I think I'll fire mine up this evening and play some guitar on my balcony.
@Jackalyn (5686)
• Oxford, England
22 Apr
I have not seen a lamp like that for years. Just now I'm relieved your story was not true. No idea aboit the wick though.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (48539)
• Pleasant Hill, California
25 Apr
So far so good. I actually forgot about it the other evening and it burned for an hour. Then I put it out.
1 person likes this