My daughter please strangle her for me.

@sharon6345 (121517)
United States
April 23, 2017 1:29pm CST
I was approved for 35 grand for a car. I checked and I could manage the payments. My daughter wanted to pay the insurance. I could not allow that with their living situation. Not to mention Joe had a very nice conversation with me. With my anxiety the way it his. He does not feel comfortable with me driving. I then thought to tear up all the paperwork. Kay is calling me now asking me to go with them to the dealer. They will pay for the car. I said in good conscious I could not do that to you or jay. And no way will I get stuck if there is an issue. She keeps asking me. I said go to another dealer and use your credit. The fact that they are willing to pay for a car and be homeless is beyond me. I tore up my paperwork. I am going to continue to pay down my bills and nothing more. I thought it would work for me. But only if I could manage the bills with no problem. I can't believe her.
12 people like this
12 responses
• United States
23 Apr 17
There are some people who live in their car. It's a new trend right now like van living But I wouldn't want to be stuck with the bill if they can't pay it Best to do is rip the paper up
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
They wanted to live in the car as well. No way not me.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (38347)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@NJChicaa Like they forgot about how cold the winter is here.
1 person likes this
• Banks, Oregon
23 Apr 17
I am sorry you are having problems with your daughter
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31605)
• United States
23 Apr 17
I like your new profile photo!
1 person likes this
• Banks, Oregon
23 Apr 17
@dragon54u thanks it was taken on Easter I decided I needed a recent photo
@Tina30219 (33592)
• Onaway, Michigan
23 Apr 17
Right if they want a car over a place to live then I say let them get the car and pay for it. I don't mean that in a mean way. And you sure don't need the hassle if something happens and they can't make payments you have yourself to take care of and your own bills to worry about.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (38347)
• United States
23 Apr 17
No offense but I have no idea how you could get approved for that amount of credit with your monthly income. I wouldn't trust that dealer at all. As for Kay and the husband, I'm glad you aren't getting involved with getting a car for/with them. You know what would happen there. They wouldn't be able to pay and you would wind up responsible for a car that would be uninsured. You don't need a car at this point. If you move to the suburbs, then you will and I'd suggest something used and more in your budget. And I'd definitely leave your daughter and SIL out of it.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
J does not trust the dealer for the very same reason. he said no way could you afford that car on your budget. he does not trust it. I am out of it now. So that is good.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (38347)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@sharon6345 you made a very good decision. New cars are expensive with the payments, insurance, and of course gas.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@NJChicaa I would not even imagine how they would want to take over the car like it was theirs no way. I have noticed now what I missed so long ago. My daughter feels entitled and for that she is going to be sad a long time.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (11796)
• Paso Robles, California
24 Apr 17
I'm glad you tore up the papers. Your daughter is old enough now to take responsibility for her own actions. You are right to continue to try to get out of debt. Your daughter will only learn to be responsible if no one enables her to be otherwise. I know it's hard to watch someone you love make poor decisions and suffer, but that's the only way some people learn.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
24 Apr 17
She could be in a better place now had she listened to me once in a blue moon. I never would steer her wrong. I stress paying the bills but she would rather get her hair and nails done. Oh well. I will go broke paying my bills.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (11796)
• Paso Robles, California
24 Apr 17
@sharon6345 It gets harder to pay bills every month. My husband is now slaving away trying to figure out how will pay our bills after that unexpected dental tab of over $20,000 we acquired in Jan- March. Pay you bills as best you can, but don't pay hers. It will be no help to her if you become homeless. Set an example for her in the way you budget your money. If she doesn't know how to budget, teach her if she will listen. Yelling at her won't help. Just refuse her requests for money without drama and offer to help her learn to pick priorities. Quietly explain that you won't be able to help with money, and all you can give her is help in making decisions. She won't like it and probably won't listen, but she needs to learn to live in such a way that she will survive after you are gone. Someday she will have to be independent. Better to quit enabling her now while you are here for moral, but not financial, support.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
24 Apr 17
@bagarad I did even better than that. When she needed to come back home I refused her to come back. She comes to shower and change. I don't even ask her about her personal business where she is or anything. I completely gave up on her life. I am here for when she needs a shower but nothing much other than mommy daughter time. I have less stress that way too.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74680)
• Canada
23 Apr 17
You did right by ripping of the paperwork and not getting the car. It is an added expense that you really don't need.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
That was all I could do with it. That would be more problems for me.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74680)
• Canada
23 Apr 17
@sharon6345 yes best to avoid all of that
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@Happy2BeMe they will find another way to get it.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (12198)
• Northampton, England
23 Apr 17
Some people really need to re-examine their priorities. Why on earth do they need a 35 thousand dollar car?
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
She feels she needs a car before a roof over her head.
@boiboing (12198)
• Northampton, England
23 Apr 17
@sharon6345 I'd say she needs a good lecture from her mum. I can see this ending up with you in debt and her with no home and no car either.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@boiboing she is already living in god knows where. coming here to shower and change. That credit situation would cost her a mother.
@dragon54u (31605)
• United States
23 Apr 17
So you did not actually sign papers to drive the car, only to get approval for a loan? It would be nice to have a car but $35K is such a huge amount! I thought you were talking about $10K or so. That would be scary to take on such a large financial burden. Your daughter thinks like a young person, not seeing pitfalls that lie in wait. There are so many things that can happen and probably will to get them into trouble with such a large debt. She'll eventually learn. She's lucky she has you to tell her no.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
I always feel like the bad guy. but I am working hard to pay down bills. I stopped shopping a lot and all. I can't let her ruin me like that. I could see if it were less than 35 maybe 5 or 6 grand not even 10. not now.
2 people like this
@NJChicaa (38347)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@sharon6345 they are just trying to use you again. I'm glad you didn't fall for it.
@sharon6345 (121517)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@NJChicaa no I kept telling them no and she kept adding pressure. No means no.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117647)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Apr 17
Good for you, girl!! I am so proud of you. She is being selfish. I hope you stand by this. Sharon, you don't need this. You are doing well and you know how this could go.
@DianneN (76157)
• United States
23 Apr 17
There is something called priorities!!!
@dodo19 (32569)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Apr 17
Some people don't seem to really think this through.
• United States
23 Apr 17
Wow..sorry that stress is on you right now. She will just have to take no for an answer. You can't go into that mess for sure. Please don't feel bad about it, that is the end of it now. Yes you do not need any more bills either with the little money you have. And work so hard to get a bit extra.