Not having a chance to fully mourn an old friend
April 24, 2017 3:34am CST
As I look through old pictures on FB that I posted I keep seeing where my friend that died recently liked them. It made me sad again, knowing that she's no longer here on earth. I haven't had much time to really think about her lately and often forget she isn't alive because I wasn't able to grieve for more than a couple days before everything with my brother went down. After everything with my brother, that's where my mind has been. Now I'm worried that he'll OD or something. I feel like my family has had enough loss and we really don't need anymore. I'm tired of being worried all the time. I'm sad that I can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone I cared about is gone because I'm too worried that I could lose someone else I care about. My family has been hit by so much loss and tragedy this past year and I keep trying to keep my focus on better things. It can be extremely difficult to do. We just came up on the one-year anniversary of the death of my uncle and also my step nephew. Then I lost a close family friend and I can't even properly mourn her death because I haven't had the time to let myself really stop and feel because I've already been bombarded by more emotional pain. I don't even really feel like she's gone because she lived so far away and I have no time to truly let it sink in. I have been dealing with so much and I keep reminding myself that some people are dealing with worse and that I need to focus on the positive parts of my life, but sometimes that's easier said than done. Life is difficult sometimes and we just have to work our way through it and right now I'm doing my best. I just realized that I missed my friend upon seeing her old comments and likes on my FB posts. I really do miss her. I sure hope she's up there being our guardian angel because we sure could use one right now.
7 people like this
• Banks, Oregon
I am so sorry it sounds like you are going through a awful lot right now, i pray things get better with you're brother, my sister has had alot of problems and i know i have been really worried about her to in the past. I hope you are able to properly mourn you're friend sometimes it helps talking to a mutual friend.
• United States
I am sorry for you loss Keisha. Losing a loved one is hard on our hearts. Just focus on how she touched your life for now. Sounds like you have a lot to deal with right now. Not sure what has happened with your brother, but from your brief words I can gather what has may be going on. I hope he will seek help before it is too late. Been there myself with people who are near and dear to me.