Invited to something by someone I don't even talk to.

@sissy15 (5689)
United States
April 27, 2017 9:27pm CST
Have you ever been invited to something by someone you haven't even talked to in years? Because today I was, and I have one other time. This person is someone who I've known since I was probably 3 but we were never best friends, we played together after school as kids because in a small town of 200 people you basically played with anyone you could, it was either that or play with no one. It's not because you were best friends or that you were even necessarily friends, it was just them or no one. I mean I guess at one time I could have called her a friend but not a good one. She was that kid that was odd and you thought they were OK but they wouldn't be a go-to friend. We got along fine, but she wasn't someone I would have chosen as a friend because we were very different and while I liked her I could only tolerate her for small amounts of time. We both had other friends in school but they lived in nearby towns. We rarely played together at recess at school, but would usually eat lunch together as we had a group we sat with. Regardless I haven't talked to her in years we both went our separate ways in jr. high and high school. She got in some big trouble for selling her ADHD meds and got suspended from school and I know she was pregnant by the time the 11th grade came around. I mean we were just different. She was also not always the sharpest tool in the shed, I remember telling her my son was due in November at one point because we ran into each other and she saw I was pregnant, and she asked "This November or next?" at this point she had 2 kids herself, so it kind of baffled me. She was nice, but she was never the brightest. Recently she had a baby shower which she also invited me to and which I also didn't go to, she never even asked me through messenger or anything she just invited via FB invite. Now she's getting married and invited me. Needless to say, I've declined both invites. I haven't talked to her in years, why would I go to her baby shower or wedding? It's not like she even tried to reconnect with me, just a random invite. It's not like when we were kids and were forced to play together because it was that or play alone, we've both gone our separate ways and while I stay semi-connected to her I wouldn't call her a friend, more of an acquaintance. That's how life is, you move on and while I remember her and how we were friends as kids I haven't been her friend in a long time. We're both 30 and have talked to each other maybe a handful of times since we were 12. You grow up and move on. I don't invite her to anything because we aren't friends anymore. We were never great friends, to begin with. Oh, well. I declined way in advance as the wedding isn't even until next year. I'd like to say maybe she'll get the hint but I doubt it. I can't say I have a desire to be friends with her again, she was nice but we really are very different and now I find I need people to talk to that have more common interests and that don't annoy me the way she did. It's great that she's got a life going and I'll happily stay FB friends with her and follow her life from afar but I don't think I could be real friends with her anymore, so much time has past and while I like her she's nice we just aren't into the same things. She's basically my opposite. Some people are nice to talk to from time to time but that doesn't mean you want to be their best friends. This may seem mean, but I'm not trying to be. I just think sometimes friendships have run their course and while it's great to catch up with people from time to time that that doesn't mean you need to be friends. I think sometimes you need to let go and respect something for what it was and not feel the need to revisit it. I respect her and I'll say hi to her if I see her but I won't go out of my way to talk to her or go to her wedding, much the same way I'd never invite her to anything. I just thought it was crazy that she'd invite me to those type of things given we haven't spoken since my son was like 2 and before that it was years before I'd seen her.
5 people like this
7 responses
@Courtlynn (55163)
• United States
28 Apr 17
Maybe it was just a kindness thing to invite msybe everyone on fb. I know people who hust invite everyone
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
29 Apr 17
I'm sure she did invite everyone on FB but not to be kind, more than likely for the gifts. I really don't enjoy being invited to things by people who don't so much as bother to contact me and at least talk to me first. I am happy with our current arrangement, where we are both happy in our own lives and maybe can see what each other is doing via FB. I mean this girl isn't mean but she is definitely out for gifts and anything she can get free. That's how she was when we were kids. I think had she used her head she probably wouldn't have invited me. She hasn't said so much as a hi to me in at least 4 years. I mean if I see her out and about I wouldn't ignore her I'd say hi, but we really aren't friends anymore, I don't think my sanity could take it if I'm honest, we really are very different people and even back when we were kids she got on my nerves at times. I used to be happy she wasn't allowed across the track which is where I lived. Part of me felt bad for her but at the same time if I spent too much time with her I'd get annoyed.
@Courtlynn (55163)
• United States
29 Apr 17
@sissy15 i mean, people change. You cant just judge them off their past or by what you think they are like. As we only see our side of people. Not necessarily the real side of them. I wouldnt mind getting invited to anything on fb. Its just fb. Not a big deal. Least she didnt do it in person.
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
29 Apr 17
@Courtlynn People do change, but I really don't think she has. The things that annoyed me about her haven't at least none of the times I have seen her in person. It is just FB but to me, it's kind of rude to invite someone to something when you don't even so much as talk to them. If she would have invited me in person I still would have said no but I wouldn't have found it as impersonal. Usually, if you invite people you don't bother to talk to you're not doing it to be kind but because you want the gifts, that's how most people are. I don't judge most people by the past but by her FB posts, she definitely doesn't seem like she's changed. She does the same kind of stuff I have no interest in. I know the person she was and I know she could be nice but at the same time she was always kind of wild and did stuff that I just couldn't be around and judging by her pictures she's still doing those things. I don't like getting invites from people I don't talk to because to me it seems like they're fishing for gifts. That's what it reminds me of, and it seems crazy that she'd invite me to stuff after not talking to me for years. I mean whether it's FB or in person shouldn't make a difference at the end of the day, I'm odd in that I think if you're going to invite someone to something you should at least still talk to them. Just the way I feel about it though.
• Banks, Oregon
28 Apr 17
I never get invited to anything besides to see Plays at the Theatre In The Grove, none of my classmates have ever invited me to there wedding, i wouldnt go anyway though..... well i might go to a few of my friends but not if they just casually invited me like that
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
29 Apr 17
I get invited to a lot of things I would rather not go to. I have people have never gone to anything I've invited them to invite me to their stuff and I refuse to go. Why should I go and bring gifts and things if they can't even be bothered to show up to anything I've invited them to? It's a common courtesy. If you want people to show up to things that you throw then you need to go to theirs. I am tired of making the effort for others when they won't make the same effort and as for this girl, I have no desire to go because I don't even talk to her anymore. She added me on FB I didn't add her. I was content with life as it was. Then she invites me without so much as a hi and hasn't bothered talking to me in years. I don't think so, I think she's after gifts.
1 person likes this
• Banks, Oregon
29 Apr 17
@sissy15 I hate when people add me on facebook and then never talk to me, its like what was the point of adding me?
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
29 Apr 17
@chrissbergstrom I do too, but the answer is to be nosey lol. I rarely add anyone, but most will add me. I won't so much as talk to people but I do comment on some of their posts and like to see how things are going in their lives even if I don't necessarily talk to them, and from that perspective I get it. I mean it's nice to know that people you used to be friends with are doing well, but I don't go out of my way to add people. I have added very few people, most add me.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119846)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Apr 17
She seems to be trying pretty hard to get you to do something with her.
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
29 Apr 17
It's not with her it's FOR her. She probably just wants gifts. If she really wanted me to go she would have tried talking to me or something not just sending random FB invites.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119846)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Apr 17
@sissy15 ........So just being social, not genuine.
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
30 Apr 17
@celticeagle I'd rather be neither lol. She doesn't talk to me much at all, basically, she just follows me on FB and vice versa, the last time I had spoken to her was about 4 years ago. She just randomly sent me invites to her baby shower and to her wedding. It's just her fishing for gifts I think.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (134854)
• Bunbury, Australia
28 Apr 17
I think in this case I'd be declining her invites too.
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
29 Apr 17
I've declined and will continue to decline every invite sent to me from her, I have no desire to go and no desire to give her a gift when I haven't even talked to her in years, she hasn't even so much as messaged me and I am more than OK with this.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (9070)
• United States
28 Apr 17
Sounds like the invite was a gift grab sorta thing. You can't attend an event like that empty-handed?, you know...
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
28 Apr 17
Basically, but I'm not going to an event like that for someone I don't talk to and if she had common sense she'd know that. You can go to weddings and not bringing gifts because they won't know until afterwards lol but regardless I'm not about to go. They would be ticked if I didn't bring one but it'd be too late by the time they noticed lol.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 17
thats sort of sad but shes in o ne plac e you are in ano ther and I see you do not either ofyou fit with each other
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
28 Apr 17
Pretty much. I think we all move on eventually. Some friendships last and some don't, ours didn't and for a reason, because we are so different.
28 Apr 17
Some people just don't catch hints that well haha! But at the same time a baby shower and a wedding are both events at which it is customary to bring a present so maybe that played a part in her inviting you as well. For example, when you receive graduation announcements from kids you didn't even know were in high school, nonetheless finished with high school.
@sissy15 (5689)
• United States
28 Apr 17
Yeah, I kind of wondered about that, but I mean if we haven't talked in years I think it's safe to say that invite was wasted lol. I won't even go to the events of some people I do still talk to depending, so there's no way I'll go to someone's that I don't talk to.