Interesting message on FB, what would you do?
By Carmela
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
United States
April 30, 2017 6:58am CST
Last night I noticed I got a message on Facebook and it blew my mind. This guy said he believe we are connected by family and went into mentioning my parents name and ancestors all the way back to 1883 and then he went on mentioning names I never heard of, which is a connection to him. He ends it with " If you might have any questions, I would be willing to try and answer them." (As some of you know, between my dad and my cousin on my mother's side, I am able to go back to the 1700s and would love to know even more)
However, I didn't accept the message, instead I messaged my sister and my cousin to see if they received a similar message. Also, I went to his profile page. I see he updated his profile picture on September 2, 2016, but I see no other posts or friends (I know one can hide friends and posts from non friends) and I did notice he has a family member, a niece and her profile looks legit with this guy as a family member along with others, with the same last name.
It would be amazing if this guy is legit and I get more information, but seeing how one can be drawn into a scam so easily online, I am weary of doing anything at this time and just wait to see if my sister and/or cousin has heard anything first and what they think.
In the meantime, I know people have found long lost friends and family through the internet, especially through Facebook. Have you known anyone or have you yourself been found by someone online? If so, what was done to assure it wasn't a scam?
12 people like this
13 responses
@rebelann (111168)
• El Paso, Texas
30 Apr 17
Sometimes a scammer only needs a person to respond one time to get what he or she's after @Carmelanirel2
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111168)
• El Paso, Texas
30 Apr 17
I don't know, I'm just very suspicious of anyone I don't know making personal claims @Carmelanirel2
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
You think it would hurt to send him a message? I mean if he gets out of line, then maybe I can call the authorities as well as taking screenshots of any communication we have.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
30 Apr 17
Wow that would freak me out for sure..good you didn't just answer him. Hmmm
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
30 Apr 17
@Carmelanirel2 Yes you can block..I have read about others trying to connect through genealogy sites not sure though about this..I can understand why you would be cautious.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
1 May 17
@TiarasOceanView I am not part of a genealogy site, and my sister and I think he found me through the newspaper article.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
Well, I am getting ready to call my older sister and see what she thinks. I know if the discussion gets too weird I can always block him.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
3 May 17
How awesome it would be if he truly was related to you from way back in the family timeline. But then again I can see your concerns (some of these scams are quite cleverly constructed). I suppose sending messages wouldn't hurt, but I wouldn't accept a friend request just yet. First I'd look up what kinds of ancestry scams there out there - see if any of that sounds like the things he said. Definitely if he mentions money that's a big red flag. If it's a real exchange of family history knowledge, it shouldn't be for monetary gain.
There was a guy in Japan who gave me a friend request . . . he had the same last name as me (rare name) and was wondering if we were family somehow. After checking him out a while, turns out he was just a guy who really wanted to find folks with the same last name just to see who was out there. He had connected to a bunch of my relatives here and Canada (many whom I don't really know myself). No harm in this one - in fact we have been "friends" for many years now!
1 person likes this
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
3 May 17
@Carmelanirel2 I hope he turns out to be a genuine person though - it would be great to find out more about your family history. I forgot to mention this guy in Japan turned out to not be a relative at all . . . only shared the name which I was surprised because I didn't know any other family line existed with our name.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
3 May 17
Great idea, to find ancestry scams are out there. Thanks for the tip, I will make sure to look into it.
I think that is wonderful that you made a new friend who shares the same last name. 
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
4 May 17
@much2say I understand that, my mother's name is also uncommon, however I wonder if I went to where they held the reunion, if perhaps that name is common there? I'd love to visit this summer and find out.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16534)
• China
1 May 17
How come the guy knew so much about your family history!Have you posted it on Facebook before?Now there seems to be no secret in the internet age.It is said that some specialize in cyber manhunt.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16534)
• China
2 May 17
@Carmelanirel2 In other word,he is related to you and your sister,though a distant relative.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
1 May 17
After reading over the message many times and talking to my sister, it seems that we are connected through my great-grandparents. He probably found me when he saw the family reunion article in the newspaper archives and even though he only had my first name and my maiden name, it wouldn't take much to find someone with my name in this area who got married and then look me up online., Both my maiden name and married name are not that common in Ohio, so if someone had the time and funds, it wouldn't be that hard.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
2 May 17
@changjiangzhibin89 Yes, distant enough that I didn't recognize his parents or grandparents names. So far he hasn't contacted me back yet, but that doesn't mean anything. Some people have very busy lives and perhaps he can only get on Facebook for a limited time.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
30 Apr 17
I'd just answer him as I can't see any potential issues as if he asks for money you can just ignore him.
I haven't been found by anyone online but I found my biological relatives through genes reunited...I am adopted.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
Oh, wow, were you excited when you found your biological family?
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
1 May 17
@Mike197602 Ahhh, that is sweet. I love it. Have you written a post about it? If not, I tihnk it would be a good one. 
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
1 May 17
@Carmelanirel2 Beyond excited...and it was so fast.
Posted something and within 2 weeks I'd found everyone and was talking to my sis on the phone.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
30 Apr 17
I havr reconnected with lots of cousins and friends on FB that I hadn't seen in years. It is hard to say if this is a scam or not.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
This is someone I have never met before. From comparing the people he posted and my family tree, I believe there is one couple we both have as our ancestors, but beyond that, I don't know the other people.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
1 May 17
@Happy2BeMe Yes, I went back and saw that it is my great-grandparents that we share. His family tree went through our great-grandmother, where the family tree I have went through our great-grandfather.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
1 May 17
@Carmelanirel2 I hope you figure it out. It would be nice if he was for real. You could learn a lot.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
Yep, I have family, but this goes way back. to where the only couple we have in common is from the late 1800s.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
1 May 17
@MGjhaud Many years ago, when I was a teenager, my dad, long before the internet, had gathered the family tree from his side and gave me a copy. Then about 15 years ago I reconnected with a cousin who I know used ancestor.com (and maybe other means, I never found out and now he is gone) to find the family tree on my mother's side.
I am able to go back to the 1700s on both sides of my family, but heard about some who can go back even further and I would love to do that, but I can't afford to.
So you can look into ancestor.com or ask around to see what other people have used.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
19 May 17
The people who have found me were some I could recognize.
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
16 May 17
And researched, a lot. Like that article? One must become a paying member to view an archive, so I feel he was just curious to find me and I believe he has information about my great-grandmother. The information I have stops at her, but continues through my great-grandfather to the 1700s.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
19 May 17
I find my sister not very interested in our family tree, so she did say after all she been through, she wouldn't reply back. I did assure her that I will be careful.
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
I have heard so many stories where family and friends find one another, even ones they never knew they had. I think I will risk talking to this guy, but not until I speak to my sister and see what she says
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Apr 17
@Carmelanirel2 That sounds a good way to go.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
30 Apr 17
I wish I could help but I"m not sure I know what the right thing to do is.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Apr 17
I talked it over with my daughter and one of the groomers at her shop. I came to the conclusion it wouldn't hurt to communicate with this guy, but I must be aware if he starts suggesting to give me info for money, then I will block him.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
2 May 17
@fishtiger58 Yes it could be, but so far I haven't heard anything. However, I did consider his job. He messaged me on Saturday and I didn't reply back until late Sunday night. He saw it early Monday morning, but may not be able to access the computer or at least Facebook while at work. So I'll give it time, see what happens.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
2 May 17
@Carmelanirel2 Yes indeed it could be a scam.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
1 May 17
Thank you, I will be careful. I am going to tell him I am not interested.
