Husband has a mistress

Israel
May 3, 2017 1:28am CST
My husband was in the hospital for a few days, and yesterday when my oldest son and I went to visit, a young woman was also visiting my husband. She is younger than me, vivacious, and flirting with him. She hung on his every word!. She is well endowed if you get what I mean, well more than me, and was wide eyed when he started to tell her about history. He ignored me the whole time. And now the kicker, when my son and I left because we were so disgusted, SHE STAYED! He called me later and said that he didn't touch her, but that is not the point. As far as I am concerned he doesn't really care about me and wants HER! She speaks French, his native language. What do you think I can do? I have her phone number. Should I tell her to stay away from him, or tell her to take him?
8 people like this
11 responses
@josie_ (7412)
• Philippines
3 May 17
This is a difficult situation to be in. You should be level-headed once you decide to take any action. There is a quote you may find useful, "Let the first impulse pass, wait for the second.". I hope things eventually work out for you and your family.
2 people like this
• Israel
3 May 17
So what is your REAL advice? Stay in the marriage or let her have him?
@prashu228 (25808)
• India
3 May 17
I agree, let it pass, I like your quote
• Israel
3 May 17
This is the second time that I know about him spending time with her. The first time she "needed" a ride home outside the city and he took her at 10:00pm at night. He was supposed to come and pick me up instead. He took her home and didn't come home until 2:00am! So, that was REALLY suspicious. I feel that his luck is up!
• Bangalore, India
3 May 17
Yeah,you should talk to her on the issues and i believe you should also talk to your husband as what's wrong in there,he should have behaved nicely with you i guess
1 person likes this
• Israel
3 May 17
Should I tell her all his illnesses? Bipolar, MS? Bad behaviors, such as screaming at every little thing at home?
• Bangalore, India
3 May 17
@rachael5760 she might be aware of it as in hospital ,but you should discuss about how she thinks about him, and then tell her about you,that how long you have been married together
• Philippines
3 May 17
@rachael5760 Let her find out about all of it! Im sure she won't listen if you try to warn her.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (25808)
• India
3 May 17
Don't take any decisions in a hurry, talk to your husband, when he said nothing between them you should trust him, relationships are based on trust
1 person likes this
• Israel
3 May 17
Yes, but has he given her money? He doesn't talk to me like he talks to her, I feel like I'm the third wheel, so I want to leave.
@prashu228 (25808)
• India
3 May 17
@rachael5760 you talk to him, about the money, what is his version
• Israel
3 May 17
@prashu228 He won't say
• United States
3 May 17
Where did she come from? Who is she? Did your husband admit that is his mistress? She has some nerve to be around you and your son.
• Israel
3 May 17
She is a film student and wants to "film" him. She is a former girlfriend of one of his best friends. So I guess he saw the two of them together and broke up the relationship so he could be around her. Yup she also is at fault.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 17
@rachael5760 Your husband is a teacher? Wants to film what, he's in the hospital for crying out loud! And that kind of relationship is inappropriate.
• Philippines
3 May 17
What are Laws in that country about Cheating Husbands? You should file a complaint against him. Maybe you can leave him and let her have him. You DESERVE better! My sister in law is suffering the same problem as you are now. I was angry and hated him for that, I guess he know that we were aware that he didn't talk to us anymore. He became a total stranger to us here.
• Israel
3 May 17
Well, I have to find out the laws. It is difficult as everything here is in Hebrew!
@TheHorse (67110)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 May 17
What was your husband in the hospital for?
• Israel
3 May 17
He has MS, and had an "attack". Whether I really believe him is questionable. Now, Maybe they had a plan to meet there. . .
@FourWalls (14200)
• United States
3 May 17
I'd leave his butt too quickly to talk about. My dad has cheated on his wives (yes, plural, his pattern was to divorce the woman he was married to, marry the woman he was running around with, then find another to run around with while married to the new one [and that continues, and he's over 80 ]), which probably explains why I've had no interest in getting married. But, that's me. I'd tell her that she's welcome to him, and good luck with it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 May 17
Wow! I cannot even imagine how much that must have hurt you. Trust is no longer a factor since I am sure with this incident there is no more trust. Without trust you have nothing in a relationship so I would say it's done unless you can both repair the trust that was lost. If not, then you should leave.
@Shavkat (63449)
• Philippines
3 May 17
I am not sure how to deal with this. You need to talk with your husband first before confronting her. Is this allowed in your country?
@shivamani10 (11228)
• Hyderabad, India
3 May 17
Better you do that. Otherwise you life will be on the roads of India.
@Sreekala (23402)
• India
3 May 17
My goodness, it is a tough situation. Have your patience and try to find out what is truth. Don't take any decisions on emotions, be allow yourself to cool and understand the truth. I know it is difficult to digest, As a wife I can understand your feelings well. It is easy to advise but won't tolerate when we fall on there ourselves.