May 6, 2017 5:04am CST
I know maintaining good relation with our near ones is essential, but this one relative of mine is really troublesome. We are facing this problem since three months from now. She is my mom’s cousin, they shifted to our city few months back. She has lots of problems, financial being the main. Her son’s has a government job, earns well, but they are not on talking terms. So if she needs any money she won’t ask her son, visits us first week of every month and tells all her problems and asks money, same thing repeated today also. She came early in the morning around 8 o’ clock after her son left for office. Started saying all her problems need for money asked for 10 dollars. My mother is in helpless situation now. She can’t say no directly, she gave her money we won’t get that money back we know that. How to avoid such people? How to say no?
12 people like this
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
6 May 17
She needs to take some responsibility for her needs. I don't know how you will make her see her responsibility, but it needs to happen. Pray about what you need to do - the best action to take. Maybe there is an agency she can get help from.
6 May 17
Make a list yourselves and tell her all YOUR problems the next time she comes! Then point out that she has a son and that it's a shame she doesn't get along with him. She should make peace with him and then accost him for money. Maybe you could also add that it would be a shame if the whole family heard about the situation.
6 May 17
That is a tough situation. If you say a 'no' then you people become bad, no matter how much you helped her in the past. All the past things will forgotten. That is the human nature. However, next time she comes, befores she started telling her troubles, your mom can tell about the problems of money. What to do? There is a proverb in our native it means 'the person who eats does not understand the amount of food taken already, then the serving person must understand it'.
• Trinidad And Tobago
6 May 17
If this family is Indian...then the situation is very complex. You cannot say 'yes' and you cannot say 'no'. And if you are Hindu Indian, then you have both the duty and the obligations. Sorry, there is no easy way. If your Mom refuses things can escalate way out of hand. My best advice is to 'read' the situation and respond accordingly. Some days your Mom can try saying 'Sorry, I have no money...if I had I would give...you know that" That might work ...although she'll have to say it about twenty times. Good luck.
• Guangzhou, China
8 May 17
It is so bad to hear that. It is very fruistrating to have relatives like that. I think sooner or later this kind of relationship will be broken up because nobody can just keep lending your money but you have never returned it. It may be OK for a millionaire. But we are all ordinary people and we also have our own lives. So perhaps next time just state your situation and decline it.