Leader of the Pack

@much2say (34517)
United States
May 19, 2017 1:30pm CST
Are you the leader or a follower type? Back in the days, you would never ever catch me dead trying to be the leader of anything - that was too much responsibility for me to handle. When I figure skated as an adult, my first coach wouldn't let me compete. Quite frankly, I skated tons better than a lot of other adults who were already competing, but he kept being a poo head to tell me I wasn't ready . One night I happened to befriend a group of 3 adult friends and their coach on the ice - they all happened to be planning a number for a coming show/competition. They were not strong skaters, but as these ladies had stage experience and their coach was the coolest . . . they bothered to hear my story about not being allowed to compete, so they let me in! This coach was going to be the "star" skater (a certain famous singer) and we would be her back-up skaters ("singers"). It sounded like no biggie and this would be loads of fun. I would finally get to compete ! After a month of planning and being excited, I had the biggest let down ever . The coach decided to bail on us - apparently she had other obligations. We were so disappointed, especially me . . . the lead just left and that was that. BUT . . . then I had a bright idea. I announced that I would step in as "the star". Everyone's eyes perked up . We had a lot left to do . . . finish the choreography, cut the music properly, put together costumes . . . none of which I had experience in but now I was in charge . I don't know how or why I did that - but we got through it. Somehow "the leader" in me kicked in on this one. Whether it was not wanting to let these ladies down, my desperation to compete, or to prove my regular coach wrong . . . I was determined. Well, we did it ! Although we got last place . We all agreed it was all about having fun and we had our moment to shine on the ice. And in the process, I learned something about myself - I CAN be a leader . Have you ever surprised yourself in doing something you didn't think you could do?
33 people like this
31 responses
• Lakewood, Colorado
19 May
Yes I have. Though I can't remember hahah I know that sometimes others would ask me at work, what shall we do? And I would be able to tell them. I think that is my other personality though ahhaha Wow, you really had fun doing that I can tell! Wish I could see how you looked skating my friend, I bet it was fab It is amazing what we can do really isn't it Much? Proud of you for that.
6 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
That's good you could do that! I was never the leader type - difficult for me to tell people what to do (although I can always "think" what they really should be doing ). I'm better about that now. Remember I skated as an adult . . .I can jump and spin and all that, but was certainly no Olympian. Just in comparison to other adults, I think I did pretty well. It definitely felt fab to be out there on the ice . It is amazing what we can do when we put our minds and hearts into things . . . thank you!!!
5 people like this
• Lakewood, Colorado
19 May
@much2say Welcome and I mean that..you are amazing my friend...Yes I know you loved the ice I would too. I did skate when I was an itty bitty child ice skating.
4 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
@TiarasOceanView I wish I ice skated as a kid - but I only rollerskated on my own on the sidewalks. I wanted to be a rollerskating star . Never dawned on me to ever go ice skating though my cousin was a figure skater. But I got sparked by the idea as an adult and I sort of made my childhood dream come true - sort of .
3 people like this
@topffer (29915)
• France
20 May
Ideally speaking, I am for strict equality during a team job as it produces the best results. It would be too long to detail, but let's say that as soon as I left college I got a project manager job for a rather complex thing, and I understood quickly that I would never reach the goal without respecting the sensitivities and the egos of others and putting myself in background. When it comes to collective books, it is the same. I had once the responsibility of an exhibition catalog including 25 articles from searchers. There were a few with the oversized ego of a movie star who did incredible maneuvers to have their name at the top, which is common among museum curators : some are expecting that any catalog from their museum has to be issued under their leadership, not that they are omniscient, but it is good for their career. Every collective work that I have directed does not mention it, and I have always applied the same policy : alphabetic order ! It is very good for people with a name starting by 'A' anyways (not my case). I have directed several large excavations, always with the same method : to delegate a maximum of things, to trust people and encourage them to take initiatives, to intervene the less often possible and to assume the consequences of my policy : if something wrong or stupid is done, it has been done by me ; if somebody has an accident, I am guilty. A team does a better job if everybody feels involved than if everyone has to wait and follow the orders of a leader, and I never had the soul of a leader, I am too lazy.
5 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
I know a lot of things that you have done were a collaborative effort - so you know exactly what it's like to be that leader. My fellow team members gave me no trouble at least in the way of ego trips, but it was such a small group and it was all for fun - quite a different story from a job or reputation, something of truly big importance to each individual. I like the idea of strict equality - and you almost have to be that way because there is no way you can please everyone . . . a good leader can't get caught up in taking care of everyone's demands and such - you'd go nuts! Did you ever have to deal with those "consequences"? My friend did as she ended up doing a lot of the work herself - oh but she let the people she was managing run all over her .
2 people like this
@topffer (29915)
• France
22 May
@much2say I suppose she did not managed to get people feel involved in the project, maybe because she wanted to take all the decisions ? You have mainly to be there to listen/respond to the requests and grievances of people. You cannot satisfy everyone, but you have to consider everything rising to you. I had to take a 4 days sick leave once when I was working on an excavation that was seeming to work well, and when I came back there was a complete anarchy and they were complaining about everything, their co-workers like the comfort of their hotel's bedroom and the weather. And indeed several had called the administration above to also complain about my ineptitude, as I was supposed to be always present, and the excavation received an inspection mission. To create a discord on a team, you just need 1 or 2 members to increase tensions about small nothings. The inspection mission did what they do everytime : they lectured everybody. A few days later, everything was going well again...
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
@topffer My friend was in IT . . . she had to distribute the various tasks . . . but she felt people were already overworked and stressed . . . so she crazily spent countless nights of no sleep to do the work herself. She had prizes and pizza lunches to motivate her team, but I think her team didn't care about the team and just did whatever they felt like because they knew with her they could get away with it. She didn't manage the distribution of tasks, she herself did the tasks - that is not management - that is self torture! Oh yes, if people can only manage themselves, all would work out well. But there is always that 1 or 2 who cry about the small nothings and cause all the drama. I guess a good yelling would wake everyone up .
2 people like this
@celticeagle (114155)
• Boise, Idaho
19 May
You did it cause you wanted too. I would be so put out with a person to back out like that.
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
We were so livid at the time but at the same time we wanted the show to go on. We made it happen, but honestly we know it would have been a zillion times better if she had stuck around to go forth with her plans!
3 people like this
@celticeagle (114155)
• Boise, Idaho
20 May
@much2say .......Glad you went a head with it. She wasn't very responsible. Seemed to care more about her own stuff than standing by what she had given her word on.
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
@celticeagle I can't remember, but I think she got a better coaching job closer to where she lived. I guess word was she tended to be flaky anyway - I didn't really know her that well. She wasn't my coach - but I'm sure she let her own students (the fellow ladies I skated with) down.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (118295)
• Switzerland
20 May
I have surprised myself many times doing something I didn't think I could do, but I am definitely not a leader, I am a good second.
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
Ah, I like how you stated that . . . in most cases too I am a better second than being the actual leader. In this case, I was the strongest skater, so I guess I had to do something or we wouldn't do it at all - I am surprised I even did that!!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (118295)
• Switzerland
22 May
@much2say I feel better being one step behind, there to help, but not in first position.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
@LadyDuck It's a huge responsibility to be in first position. Not an easy task!
2 people like this
@shebish (808)
• Egypt
19 May
Well done you, I am glad it all worked out. I am not a natural leader as I do not like to be bossy,although if needed I can lead, But I would not call myself a follower either as I don`t like being told what to do I guess I am just me.
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
It depends on the situation right? I have found that since becoming a mother, I am a better leader - simply because I have to be. But before that I couldn't even think how to be bossy. I don't like to be told what to do either
3 people like this
@shebish (808)
• Egypt
19 May
@much2sayYes if I really have to be then I have a little bossiness waiting to get out, but I prefer the softly, softly approach.
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
20 May
@shebish As I am getting older, I have less patience . . . I'm not as soft as I used to be .
3 people like this
• United States
19 May
That is an awesome story, I'm glad you didn't give up despite being let down twice. It depends on the project, situation. I like to lead if I know I'm strong or confident but if I don't ~ I'll follow and let someone else deal with the responsibilities more.
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
I was hungry to get out there on the ice to show my stuff . In skating I was really confident enough to lead something like that . . . but normally I'm not one to step up to the plate like that.
3 people like this
• United States
19 May
@much2say I'm glad you stepped up especially since you're confident in skating =)
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
@infatuatedbby Let's see if I can be confident to go back someday .
3 people like this
@JudyEv (96670)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 May
That's pretty awful that your coach wouldn't let you compete. Well done for having the guts (pardon the expression) to have a go.
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
Oh - my coach was a dingbat - I will write about my terrible experience with him some time . He totally held me back. I think because I was so angry with him, I was on fire to make sure this group number happened .
1 person likes this
@amadeo (46050)
• United States
19 May
that is great there.I have done all of my greatness.Now time to think of me and the rest of the pack
3 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
I agree - time to think of you now .
2 people like this
@teamfreak16 (35125)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
20 May
That's difficult to step up. I couldn't do it.
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
You might surprise yourself! How about if it were for something like biking?
2 people like this
@teamfreak16 (35125)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
22 May
@much2say - If it were kids, maybe. I'm very introverted in person. Being a leader is kind of hard for me.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
@teamfreak16 Sometimes it's harder with kids - they can be pretty harsh critics!
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (26644)
• Australia
20 May
I've always known you have leader qualities in you!
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
I'm really not the leader type, but with certain things I am passionate about or have a good deal of knowledge about, I just know I can do it !
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (26644)
• Australia
22 May
@much2say Yes, you can! I was one of those kids who would hide my face when a teacher was looking for a team leader or something among a group of students...
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
@sishy7 What's funny is when I was in elementary school, I didn't mind being the kickball team leader or class president or whatever . . . but when I got into junior high (what they call middle school now), I just wanted to hide all the time. I wanted to sit in back of the class - never wanting to raise my hand or speak up .
1 person likes this
@dwstory (969)
• Roseburg, Oregon
22 May
I was the manager of a auto part store for over forty years. So yes I was a leader. That was great that you were able to take over and everything worked out.
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
Oh yes, definitely a leader in that store! I've worked in a few stores, but never was the managing type. It was pretty cool to take a lead in something I really was passionate for!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May
Yes, with dance. I was on a dance team and when they broke up, I ended up going to this church where the people wanted to learn, so I volunteered. I not only taught them what I learned, but I made up my own choreography. Unfortunately now I am in another church where they either don't dance to the dances I dance to, or they have their own choreography. There is one they want me to teach, but it isn't that fast, I prefer the faster dances.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
Oh that must've seen so neat to teach and choreograph!! It is difficult when the people around you have the same interests, but not in the same style. A lot of the adults I skated with actually had no idea what music to skate to . . . I always thought are they kidding me - I had a whole playlist - very similar to anything I would dance to! And they weren't into current stuff. I've always wanted to skate in a group with similar music/dance tastes as me - never found such folks. I hope you can introduce the church your dance interests and teach them something new to them!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May
@much2say Well. like I said, they do want me to teach this one dance I was caught doing while while waiting for practice to begin. lol But I so want to teach the faster paced one..
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
@Carmelanirel2 I hope you get to teach the faster paced one too . . . maybe they can ease into it after the first one . I would love to see you dance!!!
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (21956)
• United States
20 May
Wow! I think you underestimate yourself, SmilePie! I have thought that several times, but I didn't realize you must have always done that! I am so in awe of what you did with that group of people! Who cares that you came in last! At least you proved to yourself and to them that you had what it takes to take charge and bring everyone's dreams to fruition! As you and they realized, you all had fun doing it, so it was not a loss at all, but a fantastic win! I am a fairly good follower when I need to be, but I take charge when that is needed, too. (Being in charge is not my favorite thing in life, but I know I can do it and do a good job of it when I need to!) Many things have scared me during my life, but I know nobody else is going to just take over and do the things that scare me, so I push myself until they get done. (I can always fall apart later, if that is what I feel like doing!)
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (21956)
• United States
22 May
@much2say Hmmm... I have been trying all day to figure out how to reply to this, SmilePie... and other than to say thank you for the nice compliments, I am still not sure how to say what I really want to say here. I dislike killing a conversation with you, but I don't know how to say how much I admire you... Not just for your bravery at taking on something you'd never done before, but at how you teach your children, how you interact with your husband and all of us who were on Bubbs and now myLot.... Now, I am feeling silly because this is not how I want to say all this and it really doesn't serve the purposes I am trying to convey to you, Dearheart. I guess I don't know the right words I needed/wanted here. I'm sorry about that...
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
23 May
@DaddyEvil Whatever you were trying to say or what you meant . . . I appreciate your words - no need to apologize for anything. I'm just being "me" . . . honestly not sure what good it does half the time . A lot of times I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say here either . . . but I'm glad I am able to communicate "something" with all you guys here. I'll take the seriousness and silliness and everything in between . It's always a pleasure hearing from you DE no matter what you have to say!
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (21956)
• United States
23 May
@much2say You have to know you are one of my favorite people, SmilePie... I am glad you are willing to accept what I say/me just as I am! I always wondered how anyone could be comfortable (like some people on Facebook) when they seem determined to be someone else for the people they talk to/interact with on there? (Remember the guy I told you about who works in construction, but shows on his Facebook page that he is a boxer who is going to college at night?) That is what I am talking about. It would stress me out trying to keep up a pretense and trying to live my life at the same time. How does he remember which person he is supposed to be? It is always better to just be who you are. I like who I am and I like who you are, too! No pretense needed!
2 people like this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
19 May
I've never really wanted to be a leader but in a couple of the jobs I had I was put in charge of a few workers. I wasn't the boss per se but I was in charge over these few people. On my last job I trained about 20 people to do the job. Nobody liked doing the job so they came and went. It was a bit upsetting when I got someone who was good at it but after a few months they no longer wanted to do the job.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
Managing people at a job can be difficult. Hubby did that for while - ended up not liking it - wasn't his thing. I had a friend who was not a good manager . . . she let her staff run all over her. Instead of distributing the work as a manager should be doing, she felt sorry that everyone else was being overworked, so she took on all the extra work and ended up way overworked herself!
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
19 May
@much2say I had one person who told me one day that she would not do what I asked her to do. She went to the big boss and was told I was in charge of that area. What I asked her to do was work with someone other than her favorite person for a couple of hours so it wasn't like I was asking her to do something she couldn't do. She stood there and put her hands on her hips and said, "I refuse to do that." After the boss told her I was in charge she never gave me a bit of trouble even after that boss left and we had a new boss.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
@RichardMeister Oh what a pain . . . I hate those "You're not the boss of me" types . . . when you were indeed in charge!
2 people like this
@kaka135 (13468)
• Malaysia
21 May
What an inspiring story! I was sad to see the lead just left, but it might be good when you looked at it now, as it brought out the leader in you. I am not really a leader yet, but I know I don't really like to be follower, I like to walk my own path, though I might not be leading others.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
The lead was a fantastic skater . . . I will be honest in saying she would have been tons better than me - but well, I think we were all pleased that we were able to do it at all. Oh but you are a leader! You do such a wonderful job guiding your children - you are walking your path and leading your children to their own paths!
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (13468)
• Malaysia
22 May
@much2say It's good to learn from others (like the fantastic skater you mentioned), it's always fun and exciting to create our own way and lead others too. I guess most of us are both leaders and followers. And yes, I guess moms are certainly leaders too. Thanks for reminding me of that.
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
@kaka135 I think becoming a mother has made me a better leader, if I wasn't any sort of a leader before. But of course as they are getting older, they are now trying to take the lead .
2 people like this
@DianneN (57241)
• United States
19 May
Finally a figure skating story! Good for you stepping up and making yourself a star. That must have been lots of work for you, but you competed and had fun, too! You are a leader in so many other ways, too. Congratulations!!!! My friends and former colleagues thought I was a leader, but I never felt like one.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
19 May
There's more to it but there's only so much I can put in a post . It would have been a billion times better had the coach been the star - she was a cutie patootie and was a show skater herself - but well, it was what it was. I will tell you we did Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T - a live version. The coach bailed like I said, so guess who tried to skate her heart out as Aretha . Some people just radiate "leadership". Knowing what you know about modeling, posture, looking your best, etc helps with self confidence and showing it (no matter how you really feel on the inside ).
1 person likes this
@DianneN (57241)
• United States
20 May
@much2say I know how difficult it is to shorten a post when we could go on and on about all the juicy details. That is a great song choice!!!!! I wish I could see that performance. I'm positive you were great!!!! I'm always insecure on the inside. Always!
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
@DianneN The live version is much faster and "exciting" than the original . . . so we had to make sure the skating did it justice. I am often insecure inside too.
1 person likes this
@just4him (88983)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
22 May
Good for you! Yes, I was Student Senate President in college. It was loads of fun! Mostly I've been a follower all my life, but I do have moments when I take the lead.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
Wow! That's quite a position in college . . . have you had experience with student government positions before? I only liked doing at class level when I was very, very young . . . but after turning 2 digits, I got scared of it.
1 person likes this
@just4him (88983)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
25 May
@much2say No I hadn't. Not before or since. I tried for student government in high school, but didn't get anything more than alternate. I was elected as a class representative in college, which is how I got the position as president. It was fun.
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
25 May
@just4him To be elected or even nominated is amazing to me - people saw you as a leader!
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14365)
• United States
22 May
What a great story! So many young girls could learn a lot from this story. I found the leader inside of me in the workplace, and once I learned that I could do that, I never stopped. It helped me get through so many different experiences.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
Sometimes it only takes that one great experience to give you that big boost of confidence. I have never volunteered to take charge of anything in my life like that - it felt great - and somewhat of an accomplishment!
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14365)
• United States
24 May
@much2say Definitely an accomplishment! And once you know you can do it, that feeling will never leave you!
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
28 May
@moffittjc (34360)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 May
Although I am a division manager at my work, and "leader" to over 100 employees, I don't consider myself a leader at all. But I'm also not a follower. I'm just one who doesn't crave the limelight, as so many leaders do. I always joke with everyone that I would make a great "second in command," because they're the ones who quietly do all the work behind the scenes so that the "first in command" gets all the credit. I'd be perfectly happy in a role like that, because I love to work (I have a very strong work ethic) and I don't like the limelight!
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
You seem like the cool type of manager that everyone likes. You appreciate all the people behind the scenes, and they appreciate you. I don't particularly like to draw attention to myself in most cases, but I did want to get under the spotlight for this skating show/competition (and we were under the spotlight ). I'm just glad we were able to do it!
2 people like this
@moffittjc (34360)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 May
@much2say I think it is awesome that you stepped up to take the lead to ensure that the show went on. Without you, it sounds like the entire thing would have just fallen apart.
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
1 person likes this
@spaceseed (2925)
• India
20 May
I am a follower most of the time or loner sometimes. never wanted to be leader.may be just because i wanted to stay with masses
1 person likes this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
22 May
I can be the loner type too - I've always been one at heart - and that meant being a follower most times. But I've learned to step out of that because I had wanted to stay with the masses too - and that's when I built up the confidence to take the lead - but not all the time.
1 person likes this
@spaceseed (2925)
• India
22 May
@much2say I have yet to learn how 'to take the lead' be my guide, this is what i need to learn at the moment. being follower and loner are not giving me much in life .......in a way to excel
2 people like this
@much2say (34517)
• United States
24 May
@spaceseed I think finding your passion helps you take the lead because you want to. When you want to do something so badly, you will automatically find the means to get there - a goal from the heart!
1 person likes this