Nope No water / Nope No Mommy

By
United States
June 17, 2017 9:00pm CST
My grandfather succeeded where my own father lacked. Now my grandfather has always been the authoritarian. I don't want to give you the wrong impression, he isn't tyrannical, and wasn't in my childhood either. He still expected obedience when obedience was asked for though. He was also the one to take us kids places, buy our clothes and school pictures, make sure we were fed if we were hungry, that kind of thing. My mom, especially when I came around, wasn't always able to financially take care of us. My grandfather filled that role when necessary. He (and my grandmother) were also granted guardianship over me when I was young. Why? because my mother wasn't expected to live as long as she did. I am thankful she lived until my mid twenties and I got so many good memories with her. That's neither here nor there in respect to this discussion though. My grandfather encouraged walking and exercising when I was young. We would go around in the neighborhood and look into the gutters / drains on the sides of the road to see if there was water after it rained. Or, we would go to "The Rec" a recreational / playground center in the neighborhood. "Nope No Water" would be said if there was no water in the drains. "Nope No Mommy." would be said when my grandfather and I were walking through the grocery store looking for my mom as she shopped and we exercised / walked around. A lot of you might be wondering why my own father wasn't the one supporting us financially and I can't honestly give you an answer to that. I think he did somewhat, but wasn't able to or didn't want to in other ways. When it comes to school pictures / school clothes I think it was just a preference on my grandparents part. It was a way for them to ensure that they could get copies of our school pictures, and that we were dressed nicely or to (my grandmother's) liking. My grandfather and I have always been closer than my father and I. Even so, My grandfather, my mother's mom, always told me that he (my father) was my father no matter what. Even in times where he maybe should have had a dislike for my father, he never let me see that. His wife, my grandmother, on the other hand poisoned me towards my father from a young age. I am not saying there weren't thing that he did wrong and should have been admonished for, but her poisoning my mind somewhat contributed to mine and my father's falling out. A few years ago, after my mother's death, my father brought up that he appreciated my grandparents (my moms parents) for all that they did for me but that he knows they don't really like him. I think, perhaps, that that doesn't help this barrier we have between us. He HAS done wrong. I WAS afraid of him as a child. The past is the past though, and the more I think about it, the more I feel I should let the past stay where it is. My mom is gone now, but even when she was alive she tried to encourage me to talk to my dad more. (What I mean is, maybe I should try to bridge that gap) I am thankful every day for my grandfather. His influence in my childhood and his influence over me in adulthood.
5 people like this
8 responses
@Poppylicious (10091)
19 Jun 17
My male role models as a child were Mumsy's friends' husbands. Father was just some bloke I saw at weekends, whilst the other men gave me lots of lovely memories.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jun 17
I'm glad you were able to have male role models though.
@teamfreak16 (42474)
• Denver, Colorado
18 Jun 17
My grandpa was my adult role model when I was a kid.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jun 17
Yes, definitely same here.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (72403)
• Roseburg, Oregon
18 Jun 17
All that matters now is the fact that you had a good childhood thanks to your grandfather.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jun 17
Exactly. I got him a card but didn't sign it. It was like a comic book and so I told him that I didn't sign it because he could now collect it.
@Courtlynn (55087)
• United States
18 Jun 17
Maybe you should, but only if you truly want to. You seemed to have had a wonderful grandfather. And i loved reading your memories
• United States
18 Jun 17
Thank You on all accounts. Yes, my grandfather is still living and I am grateful for that. No word from my real dad but I said happy father's day to my grandfather and gave him a card.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55087)
• United States
18 Jun 17
@ScribbledAdNauseum thats sad. But you did your part. Cant help if he doesnt do his. Happy fathers day to your grandfather.
• United States
19 Jun 17
@Courtlynn Thank You. I hope your day yesterday was good. I finally bit the bullet and called my dad and he answered. It irks me that he couldn't text me back but whatever.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (121031)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Jun 17
My grandmother was like a mom to me. Glad you had a good male role model in your life.
• United States
19 Jun 17
Mine (my grandmother) was too. My mom was a good mother too, but she had limitations because of her illnesses. She was still able to give me some of the best memories though.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (121031)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Jun 17
@ScribbledAdNauseum .......That's great!
@sissy15 (5762)
• United States
18 Jun 17
It's great that you had a wonderful grandfather, and maybe eventually you will be able to talk to bridge the gap with your father, everything takes time, even when it's something your really want to do.
• United States
18 Jun 17
Not everything is able to be mended though. Oh well, time will tell either way.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (5762)
• United States
20 Jun 17
@ScribbledAdNauseum Sometimes that is the case, hopefully, you can at least make things a little better even if you can't mend everything.
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
18 Jun 17
If you ever want to talk about the dad stuff it seems our relationships with our fathers are similar. I'm just a !message away. My dad when and if we talk asks about my mom and her side . It's so weird because to me he walked away from that when he left my mom. I dunno if that makes sensr
@Poppylicious (10091)
19 Jun 17
My male role models as a child were Mumsy's friends' husbands. Father was just some bloke I saw at weekends, whilst the other men gave me lots of lovely memories.