I wish I could tell someone.

@sharon6345 (143055)
United States
June 18, 2017 11:01am CST
I don't know what came over me today. I went down to the car to get something from Adrian. I got in the car and he had somewhere to go. I went with him to that location. While riding in the car I began to feel so happy. The tears began to swell in my eyes. I could not understand it at the time. We were listening to old songs that we enjoy. I did not want to get out the vehicle. I began to cry so he pulled over to give me a hug. When he hugged me I felt the best feeling come over me.He went to kiss me and I turned my head. He let me go and began driving. We talked a little on the way home. But as we reached my building. I gave him a kiss. I am not sure why or how but I did. We are going out next week and I am looking forward to it. Maybe a pool or beach if possible. Oh boy, what did I do.
9 people like this
8 responses
• United States
18 Jun 17
Oh boy is right haha Sharon. Those old feelings creeping up on you again.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
Oh boy I just felt so happy with him like old times.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Jun 17
@sharon6345 Ah well, treasure the moment Sharon.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
@TiarasOceanView Thank you for that.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55383)
• United States
18 Jun 17
I know he's hurt you before, but you either need to lower your wall more for him, or give him up so he can move on to find someone who will be with him. Noones going to wait forever. Especially at an older age.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
I don't think I have a wall. I think it's fear of being hurt again. He says he will not do that again but I am scared. And he won't move on anyway it goes. lol. he is waiting on me. I think for now we just need to take baby steps.
@Courtlynn (55383)
• United States
18 Jun 17
@sharon6345 that would be a walll. You have to believe him and let it down. Or move on. Making him wait whether he says he will or not, is not right. Not if you love him.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
@Courtlynn Oh ok then that is what is the issue. I am going to try to just ease it down then. I think that fear has taken over for the most part. The one thing I know is that no matter how I try I can't get over him. We are so close and it's wonderful but moving past the pain is very hard. I think what holds me the most is that I till have two years on paper work with him. If anything happens with him and I then I get arrested. .
@Happy2BeMe (75424)
• Canada
18 Jun 17
Dont over analyse it too much. Just enjoy it and take it day to day.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
I just got scared. I don't want to be hurt again.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (75424)
• Canada
18 Jun 17
@sharon6345 and that is understandable..nobody likes to get hurt.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
@Happy2BeMe I need to at least try to move forward or I will always wonder in my mind.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (120600)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jun 17
It's been a long process getting back to where you even feel like doing that with this man. You had a nice moment and it made you feel good so don't beat yourself up about it.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
I am not I am just scared.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (120600)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Jun 17
@sharon6345 ......I don't blame you. I remember what you went through.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
19 Jun 17
@celticeagle We had a nice talk tonight and he said he will give me all the time I need. I told him I can't handle any kind of heat aches. I let him know I almost lost my freedom and home over him cheating before. He kept telling me he will not ever do that again. he said he will wait however long it takes to earn my trust again. I pretty much see he made a lot of changes. I just need him to be easy and not rush me. I na't imagine him and I in the bed right now. I am not ready for that at all. I just know his daughter is very happy for she knows he loves me. But she also wants me to take my time. She said to me tonight so you're going to be my mom again. I was laughing. She is coming with my godson in the morning. I am just glad that now I can go out with them as a family like before. Adrain and I are going out of state together that could be really nice for us. I had fun with him but I could not let him touch me. I did give him a hug and kiss goodnight. But that is all I cna manage right now. I have a lot to overcome. I do know that I am happy to stop looking for love in all the wrong places.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (36692)
• Onaway, Michigan
18 Jun 17
That sounds like fun going to a pool or beach and having some fun.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
Yes, he knows how much I love water.
@Tina30219 (36692)
• Onaway, Michigan
18 Jun 17
@sharon6345 That's good. I like water also as long as it is not super cold
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
@Tina30219 I love ice water over anything else.
@marguicha (104359)
• Chile
18 Jun 17
Cherish those moments while you have them
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
i am scared now but I will try.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (104359)
• Chile
19 Jun 17
@sharon6345 You are strong!
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
19 Jun 17
@marguicha oh, I am trying to be. Thanks very much.
@jstory07 (71410)
• Roseburg, Oregon
18 Jun 17
Be careful and take it slow because of everything that he has put you through.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
Oh you know that is right Judy.
@NJChicaa (47656)
• United States
18 Jun 17
I hope you guys have a nice time.
@sharon6345 (143055)
• United States
18 Jun 17
Thanks Nj I hope so as well.
1 person likes this