amazing

Tweet

That's what I am. Amazing. This wasn't stated, but it was implied. I left my appraisal with a beam of huge proportions on my ugly mug. And yet, I feel a twinge of guilt and sadness too. I have been worrying about my appraisal for the last few weeks, trying to put it off by avoiding my Line Manager and keeping busy. Then she finally took my into an empty classroom yesterday and my nightmare began. She'll mention this! they said. She'll accuse you of that! they said. She was really mean! they said. She just concentrates on the negatives! they said. Would you like to know my only negative? Can you guess what it is? It's not even a real negative. It's something that my school and education reports, from the age of five until I completed my degree and subsequent teaching qualification, always mentioned. I can tell you that my positives are that I'm conscientious, calm, patient, understanding, independent, a team-player ... I develop and build good relationships with my students and other staff. I am organised and able to solve my own problems. I have been a pleasure to have on her team. In short, I am amazing. My one flaw? I'm quiet. I'm too quiet. One of my targets for the next year is to be able to contribute more in team meetings. I kid you not. So, I spent weeks panicking and getting stressed about something which turned out to be nothing but a pleasant discussion betwixt myself and my not-so scary Line Manager. And I feel sad and guilty because my friends didn't have such good appraisals. But you know why that is, don't you? Because I am quiet. Ssshhh. Keep your head down, don't talk to your Line Manager, always look busy ... I know ALL the tricks! Phew.