~I Need Opinions-Am I Setting Them Up For Failure?~

Jacksonville, Florida
July 1, 2017 1:15pm CST
Hey everyone. I have been thinking lately... So, being my curious self I wanted opinions. It probably won't change much but we will see... I wonder if it is possible to be a stay at home mom and raise your children to be successful (financially wise) and hard working. If they don't always see me working outside of the home-will they want to go to college and work someday? Or are both of my girls destined to be stay at home mom's? Not that it's a bad thing but I hope they will be better off financially than we are-I don't want them to ever have to struggle. So, are there any stay at home mom's that have successful children in the working world? Children that work hard, have motivation, don't give up easily and are confident. Any tips or tricks?
38 people like this
38 responses
@rusty2rusty (6769)
• Defiance, Ohio
1 Jul 17
I have been working and a stay at home mom. I have been a stay at home since 2006. My oldest son works in a factory and makes great money. has his own place, a 3 yr old son and is happy. My teen son plans to enter the Navy when he graduates high school this next year. As he wants to be prosecuting attorney, the Navy has a good program for that. My daughter has issues, she is unique and wonders never cease me when it comes to her. I have no clue which way she will turn out.
6 people like this
@sabtraversa (13338)
• Italy
1 Jul 17
Congratulations for having grown such awesome children! For your daughter, the best of luck, where there's a will there's a way after all.
4 people like this
• Defiance, Ohio
1 Jul 17
@sabtraversa Thank you. I grew up with My dad always working and my stepmom. My real mom was always in between jobs and couldn't seem to hold one for long. I have lived both ways and realize there are more benefits from having a stay at home mom rather than parents working all the time.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@rusty2rusty Thank you so much for your helpful thoughts on this! I appreciate it so much. I do the best I can for my children and I Home school them as well.
@marlina (73881)
• Canada
1 Jul 17
I was a stay at home mom and my 2 sons went to university and are doing very well in the working world. Do not worry about this.
6 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@marlina Thank you SO much for sharing that with me! =)
3 people like this
@marlina (73881)
• Canada
1 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies You are so welcome. I think it is how your raise them and you are doing a fine job!
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@marlina Thank you
2 people like this
@Platespinner (16520)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
1 Jul 17
I'm a stay at home, homeschooling mom. My oldest just graduated from University and is working at a job in his carreer field in Germany. My two middle children are both college students working full time at McDonald's, one plans to become a machinist the other plans to pursue a career in graphic design. Child number 4 is about to go get her first job, and is on track to pursue whatever field interests her. I stay at home, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of teaching my kids to work hard and dream big. I work hard to facilitate myself husband's job, to teach my kids and to do what I can to ensure everyone's needs are met.
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@Platespinner Thank you so much for sharing this with me! =) It definitely helps me to feel better since I also Home School my kids as well. I just want the best for my kids.
2 people like this
• Banks, Oregon
1 Jul 17
I really don't think it will effect them, just keep being a good person and they will be good people to. Jobs are often about luck or circumstance sometimes you can be very hardworking and skilled but you still don't get those jobs.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@chrissbergstrom Thank you for your thoughts on this, I appreciate it. =)
1 person likes this
• Banks, Oregon
1 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies you are very welcome
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (43033)
• Gainesville, Florida
1 Jul 17
Jennifer, I don't think you have to worry. Even though you are a stay at home mom, you are a very hard-working mom. And your husband has a great work ethic too, so your children will see that in both of you. And just keep reminding them that no matter what they do in life, hard work and a good attitude will always take them far in life.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@moffittjc Thank you. We both do work very hard, inside the home and out. I hope that will help them in their future. =)
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (43033)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies It will, don't worry!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66133)
• United States
1 Jul 17
You may be a stay at home mom, but you do so much, and are raising those kids to be amazing young women and men.. and I'm sure they see that everyday.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@Courtlynn Thank you, I'm trying. =) I just always seem to second guess myself with things and I worry too much at times.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66133)
• United States
1 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies same here , but its true
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (13338)
• Italy
1 Jul 17
Mothers were usually "kept home" for centuries, I don't think that had a bad effect. You're close to your children and your job of motivating and taking care of them will pay. As daughter of a housewife, I still have ambitions, but that's how the world has changed. My mother comes from a different generation, nowadays you usually need both parents to work in order to grow a family. Gender equality has improved and so on. Your daughters will also look at their peers, a lot of good friendships will keep them motivated as well, I believe.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@sabtraversa That is true, they were always home and there were successful people in the world. Thanks! =) Well I work at home, babysitting so I bring in extra income for my family. I just don't work outside of my home.
2 people like this
@quantum2020 (9261)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
1 Jul 17
I think that they would be more business oriented seeing their Mom in the same direction. They can also find success having their own business at home given that the internet provides those opportunities
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@quantum2020 Well, I am business oriented since I provide childcare in my home and they also see their dad owning his remodeling company.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (106592)
• United States
1 Jul 17
I do believe that a child's peers have a great influence on the future life of a child. Stay at home moms can really make a difference if their children are often in the company of friends who have college in their future. A mom can teach her children that going to college really does offer more opportunities in life. Just make it a given that college is the next step after high school, if a college education for your children is desired.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@Corbin5 They have wonderful friends at church who already talk about going to college. I do talk to them about college or going to a trade school once they graduate.
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (106592)
• United States
2 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies It does seem that trade schools give those who become licensed in a trade have an even better chance of finding a job than those who graduate from college, these days.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 17
@Corbin5 I absolutely agree and I think that would be the ideal choice, but if they choose one or the other I am happy with it. =)
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74743)
• Canada
1 Jul 17
You are a good mom. You are raising your children with good morals and a good education, they will do well. Keep up the good work and think of how proud you will feel when they earn that college/university degree.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@Happy2beme Thank you so much. =) Yes I will be so happy when they do make something of themselves.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74743)
• Canada
1 Jul 17
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (40381)
• United States
1 Jul 17
As long as they know that you expect them to get a college education, I don't see why they would automatically wind up staying home and not working.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@NJChicaa Oh they do know where I stand already with it. They will go to some kind of schooling, either college or a trade school of some kind.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jul 17
I was a single mom, worked to provide for my children. Have one who is now seeking her masters degree, one who just bought his first home, one that struggles with low owing jobs, and one that just struggles. You are doing a beautiful job with your children. Never forget that. The choices they make as adults will be of their own choosing. We can only hope we instilled them with the wisdom they will need to make wise choices.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (118280)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Jul 17
They see their father going out to make a living. Your family is set up the way households all across America was set up back in the 40's and 50's. Women were the homemakers and the man went out to make a living. Many children grew up to be successful working people from that era.
2 people like this
@just4him (117300)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
2 Jul 17
Being a stay at home mom is hard work. Especially since you are home schooling your children. They see the work you're putting in with them and I'm sure they appreciate it and will turn out just fine. I've got friends who home school and their children are doing well.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jul 17
@jsut4him Thank you! If they don't appreciate it now hopefully they will in the future. =)
1 person likes this
@just4him (117300)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
3 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies I don't know too many kids who appreciate what their parents ask of them when they're young. Not until they face it themselves as parents.
• Eugene, Oregon
1 Jul 17
Responses to this should be interesting. A work ethic is hard to teach. I gained mine by starting to work in a Texas grocery store at age 14. My mom never really worked.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Jul 17
@JamesHxstatic It is hard to teach but I'm hoping since they see me work hard at home and their dad work hard that it will help them to work hard too.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
1 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies It probably will.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (28612)
• Canada
1 Jul 17
Of course, children get motivated by different things and there is nobody that works harder than a mom that stays at home and looks after her children well!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 17
@1hopefulman Thank you. I hope they see me as a hard working example.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (28612)
• Canada
3 Jul 17
@LovingMyBabies We do our best and then we pray and hope. What more can we do?
@DWDavis (10771)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
2 Jul 17
My sister was a stay at home mom and homeschooled her two daughters until high school, when they insisted they be allowed to attend. Both girls wound up being exceptional students in high school, and the younger earned a scholarship to a 4-year college. She's married now, lives near Orlando, has a job in the travel industry, two kids of her own, and her husband also works. They are doing very well. Her elder sister married young, has three kids, is now divorced - a good thing, her husband was no prize, and works as an EMT/Paramedic. I don't think being homeschooled by a stay at home mom held either of them back from becoming successful.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 17
@DWDavis Thank you very much for sharing this with me. It makes me feel so much better! =)
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (50716)
• United States
2 Jul 17
Have you asked your children what they want to be when they grow up? I am sure they will be exactly what they are supposed to be in life.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 17
@andriaperry Yes they have said an architect, a doctor and a veterinarian. I hope they will stick with their dreams.
@skydream (1159)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Jul 17
Being a stay at home mom is a huge job and you have a lot to do around the house and with raising them so I'm sure they see that that's hard work too. I had a friend who had a stay at home mom and one of them works and saves money and the other will only work because they make them. I have another who had a stay at home mom who all kids are hard working and doing great things. I don't think staying at home is setting them up I think each kid and situation is different and the way you raise them and wath you teach them would have more to do with it then if you stay at home or go out to work, cause either way you are doing work
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 17
@skydream Yes it is a big job, and one that I love. =) I do try to teach them not to give up and to work hard. Hopefully that will be enough.
@TRBRocks420 (77744)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Jul 17
Yes, my friend it's possible all depending on what they are interested in and, you can also help them towards their dreams.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jul 17
@TRBROCKS420 Thank you! Of course I encourage their dreams to be fulfilled.
1 person likes this