DISTURBING HOUSEGUEST.
By Kandase
@Kandae11 (53679)
July 12, 2017 11:33am CST
Do you ever shy away from telling someone straight out that you are not happy about something they do , for fear of hurting that person's feelings? I know I could be a bit fussy sometimes - and that is probably why I didn't say anything, just waited patiently for him to leave.
I was living in a three-bedroom house in the city - just me and my small son, then I got a call from a family member in the country. I was asked if I could accommodate a distant cousin of mine for one or two weeks while he waited on a job interview. Always willing to help out family I agreed.
The first day he arrived, he marched into the living room, threw himself on the sofa and plunked his booted feet on my white shaggy rug !
During his two-week stay, he went shirtless all the time - in the living room, the kitchen, on the veranda and in the yard. The only time he covered up was on the few occasions he went into town.
And he smoked - not in my presence, but in the yard under a tree or in his room. At night I could smell the smoke coming from his room since he kept his door ajar - I don't know why.
There were other annoying incidents - too numerous to mention. After an unsuccessful interview, he left - with a promise to be back if another job opportunity arose. Thankfully he got a job not too far from his home and over two hundred miles from where I lived. In any case, had he returned I had no plans to be caught off guard again. I prepared a list of rules which he would have had to abide by or find other accommodation.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation?
29 people like this
30 responses
Oh I would be so annoyed too! In a way I am thankful we have always had very small places to live . . . we can't accommodate anyone 
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
12 Jul 17
No absolutely not. I would not be able to tolerate it.
Omg your white shaggy carpet!!!!
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
12 Jul 17
@Kandae11 You were so kind Kandase and tolerant.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157552)
• United States
13 Jul 17
Yes, when my older sister lived with me for over a year.
2 people like this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 Jul 17
Oh no @Kandae11, that was very unpleasant for you. I can't believe he was so thoughtless, you were doing him a favour, least he could have done was have good manners. Yes, I would probably keep quiet too if I had an unpleasant guest and just hope they would not stay too long. I don't like confrontation lately.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
14 Jul 17
He certainly did not know how to be house-guest in someone else's house and knew little about manners. Thankfully, I have never had a guest like that, as they have been mostly appreciative and did not disrupt my peacefulness.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
14 Jul 17
@Kandae11 All guests give us pleasure, some when they come and some when they leave. I guess, we know when that one gave you pleasure. And I might add, some give us pleasure when they never come back. 
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
13 Jul 17
yes I have had friends visit and treat my record and CD collection as if it was theirs, changing tracks without asking first, etc - other guests virtually inspect the house as if they are considering buying it - I have felt like asking a few guests just to leave in the past
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
13 Jul 17
@Kandae11 yes they would be quite shocked to see themselves as others do
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (48927)
• United States
15 Jul 17
I have had a few guests that started to smell like fish
1 person likes this
What did you do ?
@Lucky15 (37346)
• Philippines
12 Jul 17
Glad that he got a job, far from you :D
it wasn't a guest that we dealt with, it is someone who just dropped by and get her money(salary), we are not an acquaintance but she just said she wanted to pee and just go to the room without asking or knocking the door ;(
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
14 Jul 17
a distant cousin, and yet doing that to you? why, in my opinion, he has no shame at all. even if you are relatives, he should still be mindful of his actions and attitudes as well.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
15 Jul 17
@Kandae11 maybe the person thought of familiarity, but isn't it that "familiarity breeds contempt"?
@MsBooklover (3974)
• United States
14 Jul 17
No, I have not found myself in this situation...at least, not recently. I would not have enjoyed that at all. I try to keep things to myself depending on what it is.
1 person likes this
@vsai2008 (11796)
• India
12 Jul 17
Few relatives were there in my home but as soon as they went, another family friend came.
My father's friend of almost 40 years.
He came many times to my home for staying 2-3 days but I don't why his presence creeps me today, he has been in my home for 4 days now.
I hope he goes away tomorrow.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
14 Jul 17
Sometimes Relatives can be the worst. Because they expect everything to be cheaper, and usually take advantage of the situation because you are related. Anymore, it would have to be a really good reason for me to take in someone from our family because of being homeless, etc. Great way to destroy family friendship.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
12 Jul 17
Yes I have seen such relatives, I was very young then, but I used to understand the problem faced by my parents.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
13 Jul 17
@Kandae11 helping is different and when they forcebly come and sit in house and don't move for days then the problem starts..
1 person likes this
@CaseyRoss9966 (4056)
• United States
13 Jul 17
I have never been in a situation like that before. I would have let him know from the get-go what the rules were and what was and wasn't allowed. That is just ridiculous and very inconsiderate on his part. If a family member is nice enough to let you come stay in their house for a few weeks without you paying rent or for food, etc. then you better be on your best behavior and help out as much as you can not come in and act like you own the place. If I had acted like this when sent to anyone's house by my parents, family or not, they would have beat my butt. I'm 20 and if I acted like this they would still beat my butt because they know they raised me better than that.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Jul 17
I'm like you - I have a hard time telling people when I find something they're doing unpleasing to me, or setting boundaries. I am happy he is plenty far away and that you have some rules in place incase he comes to visit again
1 person likes this
@blondebombshell (2)
•
13 Jul 17
I am somewhat "passive aggressive". I like to think I'm subtle if that's possible! What I usually do is suggest a great hotel down the street with delicious foods and different venues. Is that wrong?
1 person likes this
