And This Is The Downside...

@bluesa (13580)
Johannesburg, South Africa
July 13, 2017 12:31pm CST
This is the down side of online friendships. When you meet someone you really like and look forward to hearing from them each day and then they disappear and there is no way to get hold of them to find out if they are alright or not. And I am a worry wart to boot. So I always worry they are ill or have been hurt and then I am freaking out! I know I shouldn't get so invested in online friendships, but when I like someone I really like them, genuinely care about them. I hope this person I am worried about today is alright and just got busy. I wish I could be more matter of fact about online friendships, because at this rate I am going to drive myself insane. So, please, those of you that I chat with often, if at all possible, let know if you are going to disappear all of a sudden? And yes, I know I must seem a little daft asking that. But I am a worry wart as I said. Anyhow, today was another almost summery day in my part of South Africa, like a friend of mine here asked "when is winter going to pitch?" I am into Thursday evening, I hope those of you in early Thursday will enjoy it and may all have a wonderful Friday ahead!
15 people like this
18 responses
@Courtlynn (65098)
• United States
13 Jul 17
I am hugely invested in all my friendships, as that's how I think friendships should be. Otherwise why are you friends? And I worry all the time about everything too. I hope you hear from them soon.
3 people like this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
@Courtlynn , yeah, I see it that way too, but online friendships are tough, because we can't always get to the ones we are worried about. Sorry you're also a worrier, it is not good for our nerves. Thank you, I hope so too.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65098)
• United States
13 Jul 17
@bluesa no we can't. But its the sane with family who move or already do live far away. Doesnt change our love, care and worry for them so shouldnt for our online friends either.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
@Courtlynn , Yeah, that's true, that's why no matter how many people say I am silly to worry, I still can't help but worry.
@Corbin5 (109851)
• United States
13 Jul 17
I have worried when an online friend goes missing for a while too. Glad you have summer-like weather rather than the winter weather. Sooner or later, winter does seem to show up.
3 people like this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
Yes @Corbin5 , with all the going ons in the world today a person does worry, people say I am silly but I can't help it . Yes, I think we're still in for winter, so I told my friend we better enjoy these warmer than usual days.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jul 17
I understand because I worry too much as well, about everyone and everything. I hope the person your worried about is okay and just busy. =)
3 people like this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
Thank you so much @LovingMyBabies . I guess that's the chance we take on making online friends. We must both try to worry less, though I know that is easier said than done. =)
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (30261)
• Canada
14 Jul 17
Very interesting discussion! I hope this special friend makes an appearance and that they are alright. I am one that avoids that kind of pain by focusing on the forest with its interesting variety of trees rather than any single tree. Since, there is always the possibility that one particular tree can be hit by lightning or be cut down or get a disease. With people it is even more complicated but thankfully there is no shortage of people.
2 people like this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
15 Jul 17
Thank you @1hopefulman . I know what you mean, but somehow each tree matters to me. Which could end up driving me insane. Yes, thankfully there is no shortage of people.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (30261)
• Canada
15 Jul 17
@bluesa Yes, each tree and especially each person matters. I guess I have had too much pain in my life and I now somehow protect myself these days by not becoming too attached to anyone.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
16 Jul 17
@1hopefulman , I understand. I think I must take a step back too. I am stressing myself out.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (79947)
• United States
14 Jul 17
I hope you heard from your online friend. A couple of mine have passed away, and it broke my heart. I felt so connected with them. I'm not here and you know why!!! Happy weekend.
2 people like this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
14 Jul 17
Hi dear Dianne! Thankfully I did hear from them. I am sorry that that has happened to you, that is my worry too. Thank goodness you and I keep in touch! I would freak if I didn't hear from you! I know why you can only stop by. I hope you'll have a fabulous time! Happy weekend to you too
2 people like this
@DianneN (79947)
• United States
14 Jul 17
@bluesa And what are you still doing up, young lady? Lol! I'm getting to be like your mom! One of my friends lived in South Africa. She spoke to me online and the next day she was gone! It's only normal to worry about our friends. Glad yours is just fine. I'd freak as well if we didn't keep in touch! My son should be here soon, so off I go. Goodnight and sweet dreams!
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
15 Jul 17
@DianneN , I know, I should be sound asleep, Lol! And I am going to try to sleep now. It is wonderful you care I am so sorry that happened to you, sheesh. Have a wonderful time my dear friend and thank you for letting know how you are! Nite nite, and sleep well and sweet dreams to you too when you do!
@buenavida (8095)
• Sweden
15 Jul 17
One advantage can be that we can have the same friends here in myLot and in Facebook too, and we can learn to know some of their close friends.. If they disappear for a time, we can ask the friends what happened.. Maybe this can work for some..
2 people like this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
17 Jul 17
@buenavida , I am rarely on Facebook, but will see if I can find other ways to keep in touch
@moffittjc (43944)
• Gainesville, Florida
29 Jul 17
I try to stay as active as possible on various online sites and social media, but sometimes I get really busy at work (like this time of year, when summer is in full swing) and it may seem like I disappear for a while. But I always make my way back eventually and get reconnected. But I know what you mean, about losing touch with someone you invested lots of time in, and they just mysteriously disappear and you have no other way of reaching them!
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
30 Jul 17
Yes, Jeff, it can be very worrying. But I have to learn that with online life there is much that can keep a person away, and I can only hope they are okay.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (43944)
• Gainesville, Florida
1 Aug 17
@bluesa It's too bad we don't have a button on our computers we can push when we are going to be away for any length of time that alerts people that we are busy doing something else.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
1 Aug 17
@moffittjc , yes it is too bad, goodness knows it would make me feel better knowing the person is okay.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (12776)
14 Jul 17
Enjoying a relaxing Friday here in NJ catching up on chores and other responsibilities Finally, found a little time to respond to those who respond to me. I can relate to what you are saying about people you enjoy hearing from each day. So much can be said in words, it is funny how one relates to others so strongly without a physical presence. Wow, that sounds kinda deep Anyway, got to get back to responding. By the way, when does winter start its pitching in South Africa? Later.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (12776)
15 Jul 17
@bluesa Your weather right now is like spring time here. We just went through a terrible heat wave in NJ. 95 degrees Thursday, a little cooler today, but thunderstorms all day. At least it cooled things off a bit. Enjoy your warm weather while it lasts!
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
15 Jul 17
@dgobucks226 , I love thunderstorms. We have dry winters, so I miss the rain. I am happy the rain cooled things down a bit by you. Thanks, will do. And you must enjoy your cooler weather!
@dgobucks226 (12776)
15 Jul 17
@bluesa I prefer rainbows to thunderstorms. Too loud and scary vs quiet and beautiful But, I will agree that a rainy day after so much humidity is a welcome sight
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (4353)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 17
How very remiss of your friend not to let you know they wouldn't be around. I have often been missing from here for weeks and I don't think anyone noticed! So I am actually envious of your friend. Lucky them. Yeah, it's easy to get attached to people, especially if you make a connection. I don't think we truly realise what sort of impression we make. I'd like to think I can at least make someone smile when I post on here, because most of my comments are made with humour intended and good wishes. Often naughty wishes too.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
@Orson_Kart , ahem, did you note where I said "you wos dearly missed" in my other reply to you? I would miss you tons! So don't you just disappear on me without letting me know how you are, you can personal message me any time! I would seriously miss your fabulous self. You have made me smile and laugh and brightened my days to no end. I so love your humour and wit and double entendres!
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 17
@bluesa I notice everything. I do disappear from time to time, and I've never announced it in the past, nor do I announce my return. I just post. However, my fabulous self will endeavour to let your fabulous self know if I intend to. And as for double entendres - Is it too late to give you one now?
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
14 Jul 17
@Orson_Kart , good you noticed Oh lordy, it would be awful if you just disappear, just awful !!! So, thank you that you would endeavour to let me know if your fabulous self intends to do so, I really appreciate that Uhm, it kinda was, I just missed this. But hey, better late than never, so bring on the entendres
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (56020)
• Philippines
14 Jul 17
hmmm, is this person a friend in this site?
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
14 Jul 17
Yes @ridingbet they are :) and thank goodness I heard from them and they are okay ;)
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (56020)
• Philippines
15 Jul 17
@bluesa that is good to know. you are a friendly person and i hope nobody abuses your friendliness to others.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
15 Jul 17
@ridingbet , yes my friend I am a friendly person, but I can assure you I have a temper and I will not be stepped on. :)
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@YrNemo (13412)
16 Jul 17
so you have some good cyber friends haven't you? My penpal of almost 3 decades and I often got curious about each other's sudden disappearances like that. These days, with emails, things are much better.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
16 Jul 17
@YrNemo , I tend to get too invested. I remember the days of penpals, we had to have patience to hear from friends back then, now though it is easier to keep in contact the patience is gone. And we worry quicker than we once would have. It is awesome you have a penpal for that amount of years
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (13412)
17 Jul 17
@bluesa It is funny really, that these days with emails and skype, plus mobile phone, she suddenly becomes too busy for me. Bet you she is busy with other cyber friends of hers plus her cats, but it is OK, I don't mind.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
17 Jul 17
@YrNemo that is a pity that the more ways to keep in touch, the less she does. Luckily you're busy too.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 17
One of my dearest friends always told me "Don't worry over things you have no control over." I try to listen to her advise and not worry, however, like you I worry a lot. I have had online friends that dropped off the face of the earth. One friend that I held dear I met on Mylot years ago. She told me that she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's so I assume that the disease took a toll on her and she forgot about me. Makes me sad to think about it.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
15 Jul 17
@ElusiveButterfly , it is strange, we know worrying changes nothing and yet we still can't help but worry. I am so sorry your friend was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It is such a horrible disease.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jul 17
@bluesa she was quite active on MyLot and we kept in touch for so long. Then nothing.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
16 Jul 17
@ElusiveButterfly that is horrible, I am truly sorry.
1 person likes this
@MarsGirl (291)
• Chennai, India
13 Jul 17
Per my opinion, instead of having 1000 friends who don have concern on us or give value to friendship. Its better to have one and only soul friend in our life. Dont expect much. Come to Reality and Think about it.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
@MarsGirl , I am a hopeless worrier and carer. I get too wrapped up in the online world sometimes. You're very wise though. :)
@MarsGirl (291)
• Chennai, India
13 Jul 17
@bluesa dont worry much dear.. you will hear from them soon. Keep smiling
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
@MarsGirl thank you, I hope so. And you must keep smiling too
@TRBRocks420 (79672)
• Banks, Oregon
13 Jul 17
I have no plans of disappearing my friend, but I will let you know if I do.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Jul 17
@TRBRocks420 , that's good! Thanks . I hope you're having a good Thursday!
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@TRBRocks420 (79672)
• Banks, Oregon
13 Jul 17
@bluesa Thanks and, yes today is a good day :)
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54518)
• United Kingdom
18 Jul 17
It's natural to worry when our friends go missing, and it;s a relief when they turn up again. I haven't been here so much as I used to be myself, but I still try to at least pop my head in most days.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
18 Jul 17
Yes, I can believe you are enjoying summer and I know you sometimes travel, but thank goodness you do let know that you are okay, Janet. Yes, @jaboUK it is always a relief to see a friend return :)
1 person likes this
@Tracy04 (10868)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 17
Hope you also have a wonderful weekend ahead!
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
17 Jul 17
Thank you @Tracy04 ! I hope you'll have a good week! :)
@marlina (75080)
• Canada
15 Jul 17
I am in Saturday afternoon right now.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
17 Jul 17
I hope it was a good Saturday and I wish you a good week ahead @marlina :)
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33750)
• Philippines
13 Jul 17
i had one, who just stopped talking to me like i had done something or a disease, but later on i found out something and i somehow understand her ;)
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13580)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
14 Jul 17
@Lucky15 , it is horrible when that happens. But I am happy you understand the person now and so you don't have to worry. :)
1 person likes this