How do you meet new people?

@FayeHazel (19837)
United States
July 18, 2017 8:24pm CST
I would love to hear some advice on how to meet people, My Lot! I have some great friends but I'm always looking to make more friends, and while I'm not specifically looking for romance - I wouldn't mind meeting available men, either. I will list some of the things I have done. Churches - I have tried churches for Spiritual enrichment and for the benefit of meeting friendly people, but this, also seems difficult. Small churches have tried to draw me into personal disputes , large churches feel cold and tend to treat a person like a number, and I haven't found an exact fit with my beliefs. College - it sort of freaks me out but I did not make many friends from college. The first school I went to was a small night school. The people were near my age or older - however most of them were married with families. Not much time for making new friends. The second college I went to was a traditional state run school. However I was in my 30s when I attended - most of everyone else was in the teens/20s. Not the type to want to hang out with some 30something. Volunteering - Seems to be unpopular with my age group - largely populated by highschool students and much older Bars - Seem to be populated with couples Fairs, concerts, outdoor events, etc - Even if you talk to people, chances are you only see them once, but often enough to actually become friends. Of course it doesn't help the fact that I'm shy. So how about you? What have you found successful or unsuccessful? Are you shy or outgoing? Photo: Mine
14 people like this
15 responses
@teamfreak16 (41379)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
19 Jul 17
I'm so introverted, it's difficult to talk to people I don't know. Unless I'm drinking. But if you want people to talk to you in a bar, read a book. Eventually, someone will ask what you are reading. Instant conversation!
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Oh that is smart -- I didn't even think about bringing a book with to the bar. Maybe I will have to try it. I should make sure that I'm not reading or "trying out" a romance novel at the time. Lol. :-)
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (41379)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
19 Jul 17
@FayeHazel - I've found that books by Hunter S. Thompson work really well.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
@teamfreak16 There's a name I know of, but haven't read.... thanks for the head's up :-)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Jul 17
Im shy but I married a c o workl wa bacin 1958 he was the new orderly I was he old nurses aidel Im saing look around at work you might meet someone you can love who klnows?
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
That's a good thought... I work at home... ahh it is a nice situation, however the drawback being that you don't meet people as easy
@sabtraversa (13331)
• Italy
19 Jul 17
I meet new friends through mutual friends, to be honest. I'm also very shy. My first thought was of concerts or places you can meet people with your same interests. I guess gyms and crafting courses are included in that category.
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
I'm surprised! You do not strike me as shy from your writings :-) But then, I too, find writings easier than talking in most cases. Oh, gyms - that was a good thought - and crafts classes... another great idea, thank you!
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (58503)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Get a job with the public, fast food, waiting tables. or a grocery store. I am shy too but I have done all of those jobs and I was always getting hit on. Just remember that there will always be a mix of family and singles no matter where you socialize. If you do what you like to do in public, they will come.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40370)
19 Jul 17
I read somewhere that it would be beneficial to visit stores where men usually make up the majority of customers and appear to need help with something.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (58503)
• United States
19 Jul 17
@Kandae11 Oh a men`s store! Work at a men`s clothing store!
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40370)
19 Jul 17
@andriaperry Great idea.
1 person likes this
@manandezo (664)
• Petropolis, Brazil
19 Jul 17
Hello, @FayeHazel! Well, I am shy, but in fact I am not the best "friend maker" in the world. I think there is no right formula to make friends and all I do is do what I like doing and friends will come naturally. Let me give you one example that happened to me this year. Mostly I am e home person, I don't like going out and also my panic disorder doesn't allow me to do that. But, apart from this disease, I really don't like being outside. In January, I decided to attend to Yoga classes and it occurs in a building in front of mine. That was great! I enrolled and went to a class to see if I liked that or not. I just loved it! I really needed a therapy as I was so close to spiritual things in Rio de Janeiro and when I moved to PetrĂ³polis, I missed it so much. Ok, back on the track, I started the classes and one Monday we had a very interesting class and one woman started saying something and she was in my group of exercise. I immediately said something back that matched that and so we started discussing about that subject and that was it. The other class, she was standing in front of the building just waiting for her husband and I appeared for the class. Her husband came, I met him as well, and we all went to the class. And the connection happened that day, when we discussed more and more about one situation of the world with an spitirual view. Classes were even more and more interesting and our bond started to grow stronger, her husband, her and myself. Yesterday I had a great surprise: I was out of town and missed one whole week of Yoga, and when I visited the class yesterday, she hugged me so intensely and her husband said: "wow, where have you been, we missed you"! And I felt loved and I could understand they were good friends. Today, she called me to have lunch together we three and I will go. She said she bought me a present and she would like to give it to me. So we three are going to meet for a great time and I didn't expect making friends there, and I did. That is it! No formula, and things will happen naturally! =)
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
I'm sorry to hear about the panic disorder, while I don't have that - I do have anxiety disorder and can understand how it makes things difficult for you. I am so happy that you found this yoga class and that you found, what sounds like a great friend at yoga class and that you guys are starting to meet outside of class. Here is to a long , happy friendship... thank you for sharing
1 person likes this
• Petropolis, Brazil
19 Jul 17
@FayeHazel Thank you so much for the words! I know it is sometimes hard to make friends, but all will come in the right time! Lovely day to you! =)
@Courtlynn (55151)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Well, I don't look for friends.. I just mske them.. but maybe online. Takes time but can work
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Online is a good suggestion -- I have often thought that there should be a just platonic friends site, like a dating site, but not. (However internet searches for such a thing bring up adult sites usually).... I do think just from your writings that you would be easy to talk to/make friends easily :-)
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55151)
• United States
19 Jul 17
@FayeHazel I could. But I really don't want any friends. Besides the ones i already have. Because i dont and cant trust others.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
@Courtlynn It's true too. Most people are out only for what they think they can gain or benefit from you. Sometimes it's not as obvious as a person would think. I don't blame you.
1 person likes this
@shikharava (1851)
19 Jul 17
My guru, a yoga instructor, always used to say, "Always meet new faces with a smile.. A little tension is to be expected, and there's nothing wrong in it. You could lend your smiles to them when they are tense and they could lend theirs to you if you're in their situation. All we need is mutual understanding, being polite in all kinds of situation. Try not to win people but try to get to know a little of them, without being forceful, and let them a little about you when you feel like it. And welcome every secret with a smile. And keep their secrets to you so they could keep yours....." And there were many things on friendship and relationship. All I understood was, keep smiling, and meet new people and welcome them. There's nothing to feel tense about meeting new faces. Hope this helps
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
That does help~ thanks! I don't mean it - but sometimes I look grouchy, I'm not, I'm just thinking ... but smiling more helps people feel at ease.
1 person likes this
19 Jul 17
@FayeHazel yep, smile is a magic, only known to humans, and perhaps chimps too
@Tracy04 (10815)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 17
When you come to new workplace - I usually take time to talk. Always bring topics about work first, other than that ask how are you, have you eat.... After a while the ice will keep melts and melts.... After a while you will be able to talk of other things. Even the first dinner feel strange lol.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
That's good advice too. I think you are right there - it takes a little conversation, every day or every time you see the people.
@Tracy04 (10815)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 17
@FayeHazel yup! One step at a time
@Micmac (9433)
19 Jul 17
I'm pretty much a shy person. I have met people at places like at outdoor concerts, the parks, the dentist office and online at a reading book site. You can also go to a tennis court and find a partner there who would like to play a tennis game with you. Or try learning a new dance at a dance school or program.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
I have wanted to learn tennis. It's funny a friend of mine met her (now ex-) boyfriend at the dentist. How do you keep in touch with the people you meet at the outdoor concerts?
1 person likes this
@Micmac (9433)
21 Jul 17
@FayeHazel Oh I hope you get a chance to learn tennis and perhaps meet some interesting folks there. haha yes, sorry they broke up but yeah it's easy to strike up a conversation with people at the dentist's office and talk about your teeth. lol. At an outdoor concert, I usually make a comment to folks about enjoying the music or just talk about how nice the weather is outdoors.
@MarymargII (10557)
• Toronto, Ontario
19 Jul 17
It's a tough call but any clubs or groups usually help.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
So true... maybe I just need to try some new groups
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@MarymargII (10557)
• Toronto, Ontario
20 Jul 17
@FayeHazel Yes you get close to people in groups and get to know them :)
@ARIES1973 (9539)
• Legaspi, Philippines
19 Jul 17
I'm a public servant and I always work with groups. I am a member of almost all the councils in the Local government unit. I have an approachable type of personality so wherever I go, I can usually make new friends. I am a shy type also but that doesn't prevent other people from wanting to make friend with me. So I am open for discussion on selected topics and this is one way of gaining new friends.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
That is a great gift - to be approachable and being able to discuss a variety of topics. :-)
@cahaya1983 (10038)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 17
I meet new people during my travels or when attending classes or seminars. I'm not very outgoing but I can strike a conversation with new people.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
It's a great skill to be able to strike up conversations
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (82499)
• Banks, Oregon
19 Jul 17
Simple answer right here on mylot lol, but yeah sure you could at those other places also.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19837)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Lol! I like that. Actually it's true - there are many My Lotters who make my day and certain of Mylotters I regret not living closer to distance-wise because I'm sure we'd be great friends/have lots of fun.... but then.... maybe that's it -- maybe I'm in the wrong location, location wise.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50083)
• United States
21 Jul 17
Church has always been my main place. Being a pastor's daughter that gave me the opportunity. There are always going to be troublemakers in churches, but I've learned to just have nothing to do with them. And when I couldn't avoid them I waited them out, and eventually they were "forced" out. Again, that's mainly because I had to make do. A couple of months ago an old high school friend contacted me, and we have renewed our friendship. It's been fun. But it's so hard to get to be really good friends! It requires such an investment. I think I'm going to have to go to church to find someone to marry. My grandparents, parents, sister and BIL all met at church.
@DianneN (84977)
• United States
21 Jul 17
Have you tried any dating sites? I never had trouble meeting people, men or women, although my husband doesn't like men hitting on me. lol