She Did It For The Third Time Already

@SIMPLYD (80362)
Philippines
July 24, 2017 5:48am CST
As I have posted before, my mother-in-law is already having mild dementia. She would forget things and would ask you the same question for many times. Though she can remember things from long ago and she will keep telling them every now and then. She also would ask me or my husband where to put the left-overs. Last month, when she cannot pull out the plug of the oven toaster to stop it already from burning her bread, she used the screw driver to take it out. So much so, that the outlet which is an extension with many plugs on top of the cabinet where those microwave and the like are, sparked and it invalidated the plug. Today, she did it again ,much to the anger of my hubby and brother-in-law because she is so stubborn. She was told to just switch off the extension wire, yet she didn’t do it. It was actually, her third time to do that and my husband is afraid it might cause her to be electrocuted. Everyone is told to always keep a close watch on her. I know, we should be very patient with her. But she would deny that she’s doing it not rightly. I guess we will just buy an extension wire with outlets that is easy to pull out plugs. That one seems to be a child proof electric outlet that’s why.
28 people like this
31 responses
@LadyDuck (163621)
• Switzerland
24 Jul 17
You must do something or she will create a serious problem sooner or later. She can be electrocuted and she can also start a fire in your home. Keep an eye on her.
8 people like this
@cacay1 (33002)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
24 Jul 17
@LadyDuck , that is a very good suggestion to avoid fire .
5 people like this
@topffer (34622)
• France
24 Jul 17
She cannot be all the day behind her. I had the same problem with my father, and he insulted me when I replaced his gas stove by an electric stove. At least he could forget a pan on it without risking to blow up his house.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (163621)
• Switzerland
24 Jul 17
@topffer I know they are like kids and the moment you turn your head they do something wrong. Imagine that my mother is 96, she lives alone and she uses a gas stove every day. She does not want helpers and she does not want to move from there. I am seriously concerned.
2 people like this
@atoz1to10 (6824)
• Australia
24 Jul 17
Your mother in law sounds like mine... Stubborn that is, and remember stories that happened years and years ago. As for housework I refuse to let her do anything and her safety is one of the reasons. Just hope your mother in law will be OK in the future.
3 people like this
@peachpurple (12874)
• Malaysia
24 Jul 17
same as my stroke mom
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
She's actually still good except for tose things which she forgets on things that we told her like just switch the outlet off. we will be hiring a helper to do around the house when she got worse. Meanwhile , my hubby is always at home while he is still out of work.
1 person likes this
@atoz1to10 (6824)
• Australia
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD Old people dont want to be seen as useless so they keep working even when we ask them not to...
2 people like this
@topffer (34622)
• France
24 Jul 17
It looks like a beginning of Alzheimer disease, and it will not improve. Maybe that adding a plug with a switch to the plug of this oven toaster might solve this problem ? But be ready to have a lot more problems soon. It is not her fault, she does not realize the disease she has, it is why she seems stubborn. You need to be patient with her, even if I know by experience that it is not always easy when things like this happen.
3 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Yes, we know that. Our daughter told us that it is mild dementia. Indeed, we should already be very patient with her. Though sometimes her stubborness can really test one's patience.
2 people like this
@topffer (34622)
• France
24 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD My father who was somebody very kind became very stubborned when he got an Alzheimer disease. He refused to stop to drive and managed to break four new cars before the insurance stopped the waste by refusing to insure another one. It starts mildly, but it does not improve, and after a few years, I have had to find a nursing home for him... I hope that your MIL will not follow this way and that it will not worsen, because there is a moment where things are going out of control, and it is very stressfull for the people around. The good is that she lives with you, so you can control her better than I could.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
@topffer Actually, I am always at the office to work. It's hubby who is losing patience since he is out of job and have to turn down a job offer that would mean away from home. With his parents' state of mind and health, he decided that if he works it would be just within the province where he can just go home when the caregiver calls for help. My FIL has a caregiver. Although, his state of mind is so much better than his wife. He is just too lazy to get up and exercise, thus he finds it hard to walk but be just the whole day watching TV , sleep and eat. He can hardly carry his body already. He too is stubborn , when told not to eat prohibited foods.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (13402)
24 Jul 17
If you have a safety switch, that should help. It will automatically switch off the electricity supply the moment it detects any electrical fault. Your mother in law will be protected that way.
3 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Really, there's something like that? i would tell my hubby and brother-in-law to have that instead since she is so stubborn and would still do it when none can see her do it.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (13402)
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD We have it installed more than a decade ago.
1 person likes this
@louievill (18928)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
I think you need to do something to break the habit like changing how the connections are done, to confuse her somehow so she will not do the same thing over and over.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Actually, we told her o just switch off the outlet. the switch is so visible because it's lighted red. I don't know if she forgot about it so she used the screwdriver again. Now, two of the outlets are unoperational already because they sparked. We told everyone to be watchful of her.
1 person likes this
@louievill (18928)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD at least she uses a screw driver cause the handles are insulated, so it won't work hiding it lest sje use another tool, you and your husband should think of something fast.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
@louievill But the screw driver make the outlets spark and unoperational after that. She just have to touch the on and off switch of the outlet. No need to unplug the oven toaster actually. She's just too stubborn. And today, when I saw her in the dining room, I told his husband who is already awake, to keep a close watch of her doings.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 17
Oh no poor lady..this is getting very dangerous.
2 people like this
@cacay1 (33002)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
24 Jul 17
@TiarasOceanView, so deadly activity screwing the outlet
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 17
@cacay1 Oh gosh..she is too stubborn
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Indeed, that is why everyone in the house is cautioned to be watchful when she is doing things. She don't want to be stopped from doing things so she must be guided or forced to stop and be done by anyone in the house but not her. We know how dangerous it is . But she would say it's not, because she knows how to avoid being electrocuted. Gosh!
1 person likes this
@dollaboy (6223)
24 Jul 17
I'm sorry to hear about your Mother in law.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Thank you. We tried letting her have a pill to delay her dementia but she vomits and feel dizzy when she first take it , so we stopped it. We know that her mild demntia will progress after one or two years. We will ire a helper at home, and cautioned her husband and his caregiver to always be watchful of her when she's in the diñing room.
1 person likes this
@dollaboy (6223)
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD You can mix the pill in food or juice
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
@dollaboy But I think it will still make her vomit and dizzy.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (79946)
• United States
24 Jul 17
It must be so difficult for all who love her. She can't be trusted anymore due to her dementia, so keep a close eye on her. She can do herself harm or set your house on fire.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Actually, It' s just with that outlet always. We told her to simply switch off the outlet since the red switch is so visible. But then, even that she forgets. So everyone is now cationed to be watchful when she's in the kitche, especially her husband who is still mobile but cannot move well anymore because of her weight and arthritis. This happened because the others are still sleeping and the caregiver of her husband is outside.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (79946)
• United States
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD All it takes is one moment. It must be difficult for everyone.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
@DianneN Yes. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@ilocosboy (34407)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Its really hard to handle such kind of situation, you and your husband and brother in law need patience and understanding.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Hubby's patience snaps when she does this. Out of his worry for her safety , he gets so angry. I have to remind. him of her condition now. But MIL would deny that she has mild dementia already and that she remember things, the do's and don'ts which is so contrary to what she says.
1 person likes this
@ilocosboy (34407)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD that is really hard
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (38652)
24 Jul 17
Her Dementia is causing her to deny. The family will have to be careful and patient with her - she cannot help the problem.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Yes, i know that because I have researched about it. Everyone already knows about it so they are all watchful. It just so happened that it's early morning and everyone is n their rooms sleeping still. I had my back on her because I was at the sink.
@peachpurple (12874)
• Malaysia
24 Jul 17
Oh that is so dangerous my dear, you mil might get electrocuted for doing that. Didn't anyone keep an eye on her? My mom had stroke and her memory is alike dementia too. My dad prevented her from doing anything.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
actually, her husband is just at the dining room when he is awake. However, he is still sleeping in his room and so s his caregiver. My husband is at the bathroom upstairs but he went down quick just as he opened the door and heard my shriek because of the spark so he saw the spark. But she doesn't want to be told of her mistake. She's stubborn.
@sunrisefan (18529)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
Time to hire a caregiver to keep an eye on her if you don't want anything bad to happen.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
Actually, my FIL has a caregiver already. He just sits and watch TV with FIL the whole day. So, we assigned the two and MIL's older sister who came home for good from the US, to always watch her especially when she is also in the dining room where there is a TV.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (18529)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD So the cargegiver can keep an eye on the 3 of them. If that's hereditary, your husband will be 4th in some years hehehe!
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
@sunrisefan Yes! And when I ask him about the day, he would tell me laughing at their antics. Oh no, as early as now I am telling him to activate his brain much so he won't have it. He doesn't like to take fish oil because it is not good for the prostate. Fish oil can prevent alzheimer's.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (51692)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
How old is she now?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
She is the same age as my mother - 79, though older by months. I am glad that my mother and father still have sharp minds and bodies, even if my father's left lower leg was amputated.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (51692)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD My grandfather is nearing 100 now and still has a good memory. Most people whose mind are not active can have dementia at an early age.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
@toniganzon Wow, good for your grandfather. That is true. She was so active before doing the rounds in different places here in Bicol before when she was still working. But when she retired and maybe because she was agitated already of taking care of her husband who hardly moves because he is too lazy to move, she began deteriorating as to her memory. He has a caregiver but still, she cannot be stopped from doing what the caregiver should be doing then she would complain that she gets tired.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (33449)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
That was a scary episode. Glad that no harm came to her or to the household with what she did.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
Precisely. My hubby was angry because she could be electrocuted had her hand slipped in its metal part. Besides, it disabled those outlets and also affected the lights when it sparked. So, father in law, his caregiver and her older sister were told to be watchful of her when she's in the kitchen.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (33449)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD it looks like a full-time nurse or caregiver is needed to look after your mother-in-law.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
27 Jul 17
@allen0187 No , not yet. It's just that thing. She's just stubborn. But she realized her mistake and now would turn off the switch instead. We will be buying one piece outlets that are easy to unplug, so she doesn't have to use that screwdriver, every time she finds it difficult to unplug.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (25890)
• United States
25 Jul 17
It is her dementia making her do these things. It's a sad and terrible illness.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
Actually yes. So, I told everyone in the house who is always with her, since we go to work, that they should always be watchful of her when she's in the kitchen.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (25890)
• United States
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD my dad has vascular dementia and my mom has Alzheimer's. It can be very hard. My dad can't operate the microwave anymore or put batteries in a flashlight. Both my parents have forgotten how to use the phone. It's really sad.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
@Tampa_girl7 Oh that is so sad indeed. But does your father recognizes you still then?
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (10050)
• Toronto, Ontario
25 Jul 17
Yes, that would be the best thing to do as it seems she's either intent on doing it again- or forgets how to do it????
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
I think she forgets how to do it, no matter how much we will tell her how to. This morning, we were all at the table eating breakfast and she didn't warm their bread anymore because father-in-law doesn't like it heated. I guess, she also don't want to anymore, because there are many of us who will be watching her and she doesn't want to be told.
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (10050)
• Toronto, Ontario
27 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD Yes, that could be it. She's not sure and is just leaving it now!
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
27 Jul 17
1 person likes this
@wiLLmaH (8232)
• Singapore, Singapore
25 Jul 17
Oh! Please be more patient with her. I know what the family and also know how your mother-in-law feels. She will forget what happened but the feeling of sadness will stay for her for some time.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
That is so true. So I have to talk to my husband about it and remind her that her mother is already mildly demented. He gets angry because she's stubborn and insist her ways. I just have to console mother-in-law when they bicker like that.
1 person likes this
@wiLLmaH (8232)
• Singapore, Singapore
25 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD Their temper is short and feels like that they are stupid. So please bear with her.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
@wiLLmaH Yes, we are doing that.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (55876)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
if that is the case, my lady, have you considered bringing her to a nursing home, or home for the aged?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
27 Jul 17
My hubby said that if she gets worse and he will start working again, it is best to put her in a nursing home, where she can be taken cared of. That's because the house isn't safe with what she is doing already. Though, she is just stubborn when told what to do. But still, she's okay in mind.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (55876)
• Philippines
29 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD i read some post feeds on FB about how some employees of a nursing home hurt the elders under their care. this is in the USA though. some caregivers maltreat the elders to the point that these poor senior citizens die unexpectedly. i know we Filipinos are caring people, and i expect the best care for our older citizens.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
1 Aug 17
@ridingbet Yes. Filipinos are afraid of "karma" that's why and is a strong believer of God.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (33002)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
24 Jul 17
Don't allow her to manipulate electricity outlet, very delicate.She might be electrocuted or your house be gotten by the current. Better cover the outlets with tapes.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
24 Jul 17
Actually, she knows that it's dangerous to do that. But maybe she forgt what we told her to just switch the outletoff and not unplug the plug of the over toaster anymore. To no avail. Now, everyone left at the house including her husband who is always in the dining room watching Tv when awake , are cautioned to be so watchful of everything she does in the kitchen.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (33002)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Aug 17
@SIMPLYD so pitiful woman she needs to be comforted so she will not always imagine that scare and fault. She must not be allowed to deal with electricity.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (31895)
• Philippines
25 Jul 17
if she keeps forgetting even after being told repeatedly (verbal), maybe put up a sign/instruction (written) instead so she'll see/read it and remember what to do?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (80362)
• Philippines
26 Jul 17
I think that's a good suggestion. I will make that sign then. Thank you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 17
@SIMPLYD i hope it works.
1 person likes this