There's One in Every Crowd

@FourWalls (15252)
United States
August 3, 2017 9:08pm CST
Today I did some light practicing for the big golf tournament this weekend. I say "light" because, with the uncertain weather and our brilliant knack for getting rain out of a clear blue sky (no kidding: it rained at the course, and when I looked at my weather app, there wasn't any rain showing on the radar anywhere near us!!!), there's no telling what the conditions are going to be come teeoff time Saturday morning. One of the things I've done most of my professional life is bring water jugs with me. It's to make certain that nobody gets dehydrated in the sometimes unbearable heat that we play in. They're 1.5-gallon plastic jugs with openings wide enough for plenty of ice and water. After one particularly nasty tournament I took my sharpie and wrote "gin" on one water jug and "vodka" on the other. All the guys in the tournament laughed (some wishing it were true, because they had a bad day, too). Given that possession of alcohol in public is verboten dang near everywhere, nobody took it seriously. Until today. I had one of the water jugs loaded with ice and water and sitting at the clubhouse. Wouldn't you know it, some minister's wife took offense to the word vodka written in magic marker on the jug and made the owner turn the offending word toward the wall. Sheesh, you'd think I'd written what Stewart Copeland of the Police used to have written on his drum heads in reference to Sting! (Be forewarned: if you google it, your virgin eyes might be shocked. ). When I got back to the hotel I asked the lady at the desk if she had any duct tape. Joking that she should ignore the cries for help and the stories of a hostage situation I explained what had really happened and how I needed to cover the "gin" and "vodka" profanity. "There's one in every crowd," she mused. Indeed.
6 people like this
4 responses
@andriaperry (58867)
• United States
4 Aug 17
That is just silly. The ministers wife is suppose to help the drunks not act like the F word was written on it.
4 people like this
@andriaperry (58867)
• United States
4 Aug 17
@FourWalls I agree.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (41406)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
4 Aug 17
I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from verbally teeing off on her.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (15252)
• United States
4 Aug 17
She didn't say it to me or I would have.
2 people like this
@teamfreak16 (41406)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
4 Aug 17
@FourWalls - Did you know who she was? Was she playing?
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (15252)
• United States
5 Aug 17
@teamfreak16 -- no, it was a "civilian" (not a member or the tour) just thee to play. She was a minister's wife and offended that her grandson saw the word vodka. I keep thinking about that guy in Porky's 2.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55302)
• United States
4 Aug 17
Seriously.?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 17
I guess this woman hasn't been around much with other people or she has a different taste of jokes. Or probably she was having a bad day.
1 person likes this