There's One in Every Crowd

Tweet

Today I did some light practicing for the big golf tournament this weekend. I say "light" because, with the uncertain weather and our brilliant knack for getting rain out of a clear blue sky (no kidding: it rained at the course, and when I looked at my weather app, there wasn't any rain showing on the radar anywhere near us!!!), there's no telling what the conditions are going to be come teeoff time Saturday morning. One of the things I've done most of my professional life is bring water jugs with me. It's to make certain that nobody gets dehydrated in the sometimes unbearable heat that we play in. They're 1.5-gallon plastic jugs with openings wide enough for plenty of ice and water. After one particularly nasty tournament I took my sharpie and wrote "gin" on one water jug and "vodka" on the other. All the guys in the tournament laughed (some wishing it were true, because they had a bad day, too). Given that possession of alcohol in public is verboten dang near everywhere, nobody took it seriously. Until today. I had one of the water jugs loaded with ice and water and sitting at the clubhouse. Wouldn't you know it, some minister's wife took offense to the word vodka written in magic marker on the jug and made the owner turn the offending word toward the wall. Sheesh, you'd think I'd written what Stewart Copeland of the Police used to have written on his drum heads in reference to Sting! (Be forewarned: if you google it, your virgin eyes might be shocked. ). When I got back to the hotel I asked the lady at the desk if she had any duct tape. Joking that she should ignore the cries for help and the stories of a hostage situation I explained what had really happened and how I needed to cover the "gin" and "vodka" profanity. "There's one in every crowd," she mused. Indeed.