Discussions you will not start

Sometimes I get blindsided by the criticism, which is probably more like concern but is spoken in a tone that bugs me.

@JudyEv I am with you totally. I like to avoid any conflicts.

@GardenGerty When you can't see body language or hear the tone of voice it's easy to wonder about the true meaning behind the words.

In the past I have been around people who had no idea what it was to not have enough food or have utilities shut off or even just to have irregular paychecks when you do have a job. "Why can't you budget? Your husband has a job." Sometimes my first husband would have a $5 check and the next week $800, and oh, there was the time his check slid to the back of the drawer in the main office and did not even get mailed to us.

@GardenGerty My husband always gets paid the same way as your husband. One week it will be $300, the next it might be $800-we just never know since he's always been self employed. It doesn't work as easy as some think it does! I am so glad you understand this too.

@LovingMyBabies Jennifer, my dad was the type of person who would give you the shirt off his back, and pay you to take it. He was wrongfully set up at a good government job when I was four. We lost our house, we had to move and off and on for quite some time it was not unusual for us to have our utilities cut off.We had very little food. Mom sometimes made us pancakes and boiled sugar syrup. She regarded that as poverty food, but you know, to this day I LOVE pancakes.Dad did what was called "kiting" checks, where you went to the store and wrote a check knowing there was no funds, and praying to get back to the bank to cover it. That was in the days when it took ten days or so for a check to go from one bank to another in the same town. Dad did all the shopping for various reasons, and I learned how to bargain shop from him, so that was good. I take the good with the bad from my past, it made me stronger.

That is a very wise observation. You do not want all your responses to be, "Yes, I agree with you."

@GardenGerty thank you for the kind words.

Very true!

It could be religious beliefs, or dietary beliefs, or health practices belief. It can be rather overbearing.

@GardenGerty .......They have a right to their beliefs. I just don't need them spoting it as if that is the only way to think. Know what I mean? I don't like that.

You certainly have your own style in your responses and posts. That is great. I have seen things that I have really appreciated from you. You were very encouraging after my husband had a stroke. I have no problem with what you post and it does not usually come across as you playing mommy or food police with me.

@GardenGerty Thank you for such kind words. The only place I play food police is in my own home. We all have the right to eat what (and when) we want. I really don't like to argue, but if push comes to shove I certainly will.

Oh yes, the good quite outweighs the bad. That is why I have been here so long.

@GardenGerty yeah. Please stay here

I know about those vanishing discussion ideas. I had that happen when I traveled some. I even would tear a paper towel off in the rest stop to scribble notes on.

Thank you @Hatley . Yes, we need to tend our bodies and let them rest from time to time.

This in particular had to do with someone correcting what I had eaten for breakfast, because it was not homemade, it was a frozen meal that I grabbed on the go. I make no bones about being diabetic and got a lecture for my food. Another one I was going to start was about getting a vaccination and it made me sore. I have good friends here who do not believe in vaccines, and that is okay. I just did not want a lecture.Most of these people are really pretty close friends and we agree to disagree, but quasi experts on the other hand, I only tolerate.

@GardenGerty If one wants to lecture a person then they need to start at home. They need to look in the mirror and clean up their own backyard. I don't like being lectured to about my smoking and my sons finally got the hint.

It is only that odd one or two people who make things feel awkward for me.

@valmnz I guess that is part of life.

@GardenGerty I know what you mean, same here.

I think it has been a bit cooler than usual. Still not cold. The humidity can be bad, but I bet it is worse for you.

@GardenGerty Do you get very cold winters there?

I wish I had more lilies and hope to do so in the future. I know you have lots of wonderful growing things on your islands.

@GardenGerty Yes I have a very large garden filled with all kinds of flowers.

Me, too. I have to also keep in mind that no one wants to hear me talk about my health all the time.

Sometimes it is just me, being overly sensitive or easily irritated, too. I think it is better to at least think about what you will write before putting it out there for all to see.

I know what it is like to have a little dialogue in the back of my mind almost all the time. I do not share much that is interesting. If I talk too specifically about school it is a confidentiality issue.

I do not worry about the number of responses. It is just the attitude of some people that bothers me and so I try not to cause them to scold or reprimand me.

Any discussion topic can be used by the wrong hands to bludgeon you.

Thank you for your good words. Yes, the gossip happens, so does the insulting advice and lecturing. I have lots of friends on here. Some dislike the others, but I like them all.