Siblings: anywhere from clones to aliens

United States
August 11, 2017 4:57pm CST
A post from @LoriAMoore about how siblings can have the same parents and be so completely different got me thinking more about the subject. My sister is six years younger than me and my brother is six years younger than her. I remember how excited I was when my parents told me I finally had the baby sister I had been praying for. She came into the world running and hasn't slowed down since. We grew up in the military and wherever we lived, she knew the whole neighborhood and everyone in it in about two weeks! I was exactly the opposite. I was shy, books were my best friends, and loved pretty dresses. I did well in school, although I was never encouraged to go to college or become successful. I married at 18, so my sister was still a young girl and our brother was only six. He grew up being spoiled by our mother, especially after our father died right after I married. He was smart, but no one encouraged him to succeed or have goals. He got into drugs like so many and worked at a not much above minimum wage job all these years. My sister has a dysfunctional family, but she's so out of touch with reality that she doesn't even realize it! Partly because of our age differences, the three of us have never been close. I've tried at times, but you can't make someone care. They are technically my relatives, but my true family is my husband, kids, and grandkids. We have friends who are family and are not even blood related to us. I envy those who have a close relationship with relatives, especially parents and siblings. But I have too many blessings to be thankful for to complain about anything I don't have.
16 people like this
13 responses
@dgobucks226 (2882)
11 Aug
Just remember this brainy quote from pinterest. Family is whoever you say it is!
5 people like this
@Courtlynn (31299)
• United States
11 Aug
Totally agree with this, always have since I was 12.
3 people like this
• United States
12 Aug
What a great quote! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (11502)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
11 Aug
As humans, we are all different and always will be no matter who we are related to it seems! Relatives don't make up a family to us-it is the people we love and care about who make up our family.
4 people like this
• United States
12 Aug
You are so right, Pat. Family doesn't always mean related.
2 people like this
• Lakewood, Colorado
12 Aug
Family is a bad word to me now Vicki...just the way it has turned out sadly but I am not sad anymore just bitter and raging.
3 people like this
• United States
12 Aug
I'm sorry, Tiara. I'm glad we're friends on here.
2 people like this
• Lakewood, Colorado
12 Aug
@1creekgirl Me too thanks Vicki
@Courtlynn (31299)
• United States
11 Aug
Sorry you aren't close with your siblings. I know it's tough, even though my brother is not even a year younger than me, we arent as close now that were in our 20s as we were in the children and teen years.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
Does your brother live near you? It's sad that siblings go separate ways some times.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (31299)
• United States
12 Aug
@1creekgirl he lives with me
2 people like this
• United States
12 Aug
@Courtlynn Sometimes siblings can grow closer later in life.
@Platespinner (15591)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
12 Aug
I'm very close to one of my sisters, I keep in touch with my other sister (I'm 12 years younger than the former, almost 16 years younger than the latter). I won't say I don't get along with my brothers (there are 5 of them), but none of them make any effort to keep in touch and I've gotten tired of making the effort and still hearing them complain that I only keep in touch with my sister. Of course our parents seemed bent on causing division between us so it's probably more amazing that I am close to one sister than it is remarkable that I have little relationship with the rest).
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
Wow, you've done well, Joanne. My mother was partly responsible for the lack of closeness between my siblings and myself.
1 person likes this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
12 Aug
@1creekgirl I'm close to that one sister because she made the effort to mother me, and was there for me when I was a teen (despite the fact that she had little ones of her own to take care of).
2 people like this
• United States
12 Aug
@Platespinner She probably seems more like a mother to you than your sister.
@just4him (76023)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Aug
That is a huge age difference between you. Being the oldest, my brother and sister are within three years of me, and then there came my younger brother, ten years younger than me. He's the one I didn't really know, but loved immensely. Now my brother next to me in age has passed and it's just the three of us. We get along okay, but I do know what you mean by not having anything in common. We were never a close family either. I was the book person - they were my best friends, still are. My sister was the fashion person with all the friends. I envy people with close family relationships. But like you, I count my blessings with my children and grandchildren.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Aug
I have come to the conclusion that 80% if families are dysfunctional and the other 20% are but just don't know it.
1 person likes this
@just4him (76023)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Aug
@1creekgirl My son's girlfriend's family isn't dysfunctional. At least not that I could tell at the family picnic I went to last month. Everyone got along. No fighting, arguing or anything. It was unlike anything I ever experienced.
@RubyHawk (16518)
• Atlanta, Georgia
13 Aug
All my sisters, brother and I are different. There's also a large age difference in We three older and the three youngest but we all get along well together. Our mother and dad were not the best parents in the world but that was the luck of the draw. My siblings are my best friends so I'm lucky.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Aug
Ruby, you are very blessed.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (16518)
• Atlanta, Georgia
14 Aug
@1creekgirl I realize that every day.
@Freelanzer (5444)
• Canada
13 Aug
I always had a close relationship wit my siblings and parents even though we are all different people and personalities. You are right though sometimes those not related by blood can have stronger family ties
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Aug
You're right, sometimes family isn't blood related.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (19788)
12 Aug
It is great that you have your husband , kids and grandkids. Still, I know you would have loved to be close to your sister.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
I really wish we could have been closer.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
I hear you. I have one sister who is exactly seven and a half years older than me. It was tough growing up with her because we were opposites all the way. Our immediate family, parents and siblings were close spending all holidays together, but when my parents passed away my sister and I grew apart very quickly. We had different views about so much and she was intolerant of anyone whom disagreed with her. Now she lives far enough away that I don't have to bother with her at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
I'm sorry to hear that you and your sister aren't close either. My sister and her family live right down the road from us and we speak, but that's about it.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (65298)
• United States
12 Aug
Yes, it does seem that some siblings just go different ways in life and just do not connect. I am so glad to hear that you have many people to whom you are so close. My brother, sister and I are close because it was sort of a "we against them (our parents)" sort of thing. Our parents fought all the time, so we leaned on each other and are nothing like our parents regarding temperamental behavior, thank goodness. .
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
I'm glad to hear you and your siblings had each other.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Aug
I'm sorry your not close with your siblings. =( I'm glad you have your own family to make you happy.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug
My true family really is a blessing to me.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (88084)
• Bunbury, Australia
13 Aug
Wow, you certainly did grow up different. But you're quite right - you can't make someone care.
1 person likes this