Siblings: anywhere from clones to aliens
August 11, 2017 4:57pm CST
A post from @LoriAMoore about how siblings can have the same parents and be so completely different got me thinking more about the subject. My sister is six years younger than me and my brother is six years younger than her. I remember how excited I was when my parents told me I finally had the baby sister I had been praying for. She came into the world running and hasn't slowed down since. We grew up in the military and wherever we lived, she knew the whole neighborhood and everyone in it in about two weeks! I was exactly the opposite. I was shy, books were my best friends, and loved pretty dresses. I did well in school, although I was never encouraged to go to college or become successful. I married at 18, so my sister was still a young girl and our brother was only six. He grew up being spoiled by our mother, especially after our father died right after I married. He was smart, but no one encouraged him to succeed or have goals. He got into drugs like so many and worked at a not much above minimum wage job all these years. My sister has a dysfunctional family, but she's so out of touch with reality that she doesn't even realize it! Partly because of our age differences, the three of us have never been close. I've tried at times, but you can't make someone care. They are technically my relatives, but my true family is my husband, kids, and grandkids. We have friends who are family and are not even blood related to us. I envy those who have a close relationship with relatives, especially parents and siblings. But I have too many blessings to be thankful for to complain about anything I don't have.
16 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
I'm very close to one of my sisters, I keep in touch with my other sister (I'm 12 years younger than the former, almost 16 years younger than the latter). I won't say I don't get along with my brothers (there are 5 of them), but none of them make any effort to keep in touch and I've gotten tired of making the effort and still hearing them complain that I only keep in touch with my sister. Of course our parents seemed bent on causing division between us so it's probably more amazing that I am close to one sister than it is remarkable that I have little relationship with the rest).
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
That is a huge age difference between you. Being the oldest, my brother and sister are within three years of me, and then there came my younger brother, ten years younger than me. He's the one I didn't really know, but loved immensely. Now my brother next to me in age has passed and it's just the three of us. We get along okay, but I do know what you mean by not having anything in common. We were never a close family either. I was the book person - they were my best friends, still are. My sister was the fashion person with all the friends. I envy people with close family relationships. But like you, I count my blessings with my children and grandchildren.
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
@1creekgirl My son's girlfriend's family isn't dysfunctional. At least not that I could tell at the family picnic I went to last month. Everyone got along. No fighting, arguing or anything. It was unlike anything I ever experienced.
• Atlanta, Georgia
All my sisters, brother and I are different. There's also a large age difference in We three older and the three youngest but we all get along well together. Our mother and dad were not the best parents in the world but that was the luck of the draw. My siblings are my best friends so I'm lucky.
• United States
I hear you. I have one sister who is exactly seven and a half years older than me. It was tough growing up with her because we were opposites all the way. Our immediate family, parents and siblings were close spending all holidays together, but when my parents passed away my sister and I grew apart very quickly. We had different views about so much and she was intolerant of anyone whom disagreed with her. Now she lives far enough away that I don't have to bother with her at all.
• United States
Yes, it does seem that some siblings just go different ways in life and just do not connect. I am so glad to hear that you have many people to whom you are so close. My brother, sister and I are close because it was sort of a "we against them (our parents)" sort of thing. Our parents fought all the time, so we leaned on each other and are nothing like our parents regarding temperamental behavior, thank goodness. .