I Blew It
@just4him (305532)
Green Bay, Wisconsin
August 12, 2017 12:03pm CST
I'm not going to go into it, but suffice it to say, I'm at fault at the problem this time with my older son. My words went ahead of thought and my son left in a hurry, hurt, which I know also hurt me a lot. I had more to say, but he didn't stay to listen, which would have eased things and made them better.
As a result I had a bad night's sleep, but did get up early and sent an e-mail to his girlfriend telling her she's the best thing to happen for him and I hope things go well for them.
It gave me some peace, as I know she'll share it with him and hopefully the rift will be healed and things will be good again. I hope.
For now, I need to leave for a while and get my laundry done. My notifications are finished, and I hope you all are having a good day and a great weekend.
Thanks for reading.
35 people like this
37 responses
@just4him (305532)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Aug 17
It's too soon. He would either hang up on me, or not answer at all, which is what I would expect. I've had such a rough relationship with him and was happy when things started going right for a change, and then I opened my mouth. It's going to take time.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
12 Aug 17
I hope everything works out. Have a good day.
6 people like this
@kobesbuddy (74419)
• East Tawas, Michigan
12 Aug 17
@just2him Yes, I've had a rift with my one and only son, at different times. In some ways, I was right to speak while the words were completely my own anger, venting out on a young adult:( He left for two years, with the impression that I was the meanest mother in the entire world! Even my apologies didn't work, at that time:( I learned a very big lesson that day, the human tongue is truly set on fire, from Hell. The book of James was written for me, Chad's Mother!:)
5 people like this
@just4him (305532)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Aug 17
@kobesbuddy That made it worse when his girlfriend lied about you and he believed it. He should have known, living with you all his life, that she had lied. I had that happen to me between my husband and me. His friends lied about me, and was the start of the downfall of our marriage.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (74419)
• East Tawas, Michigan
13 Aug 17
@just4him Chad's girlfriend lied about me and he believed what she said. Thus, I got cut out of his life, as a terrible mother. When he found out the truth, Chad came crawling back to say 'I love you, Mom.'
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158680)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Aug 17
Don't you wish that you could have grabbed what you said and pulled it right back into your mouth before even an inkling of it was heard? I have gotten to the point of seeing red a few times with my ODD grandson and bi-polar daughter, so I know what you mean. I hope this can be healed. Sometimes such things take some time.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (40411)
• United States
12 Aug 17
Valerie, I know it hurts when we have disagreements with our kids. Hopefully he'll realize you didn't mean any harm. Trust God to be with you and him.
5 people like this
@MarshaMusselman (38616)
• Midland, Michigan
12 Aug 17
Well, if you and the girlfriend have a decent relationship, then maybe you cant talk with her a bit. Not about him, of course, but just to keep some communication lines open for when he finally is ready to listen.
It's hard when discussing things with our loved ones as we don't always perceive how they'll take things and it's not uncommon for most of us to begin our well-thought out ideas in ways that turn the other person off even though that's not our intent.
We worked through a book in Sunday school last year that was great. It covered something similar to your situation. I don't remember what was recommended though. I asked my daughter and she doesn't even remember what I'm talking about. I think it was in the Good and Beautiful Life I mentioned a few months ago. I'll try to look it up and I've not forgotten about the other study I was going to read up on too, although I did forget to do it when I was off last week.
I'll be off for some extra days coming up to visit with family from out of town, maybe then.
In the mean time keep praying for your son. Will he not even answer his phone when you call? Do you text? At least you can ask for his forgiveness with a text if he won't take your calls. You may not be able to share what you planned if he's not willing to hear it.
4 people like this
@just4him (305532)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Aug 17
Right now, no, he won't. I've known him for 44 years, so I know he won't and probably will erase without looking at it. I don't text anyway, not if I can help it.
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
12 Aug 17
Sorry there's problems and hurt feelings betweeb the two of you. I hope things get better.
4 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
12 Aug 17
So sorry that happened I would cry it all out first which is what I have done before.
2 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
14 Aug 17
@just4him
Sorry you could not sleep Val.
We all say things sometimes but we don´t really mean them either.
He should know that and will come around in time.
1 person likes this
@just4him (305532)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Aug 17
@lovinangelsinstead21 Thank you. I'm hoping it will be soon.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
14 Aug 17
I understand this is the son that you have an up and down relationship with.
Only you know what are the problems with this.
I have been reading down and I understand he is 44 yrs is that right?
If so, then he should not be so touchy with what his Mom says to him, surely he must know by now that you have the best intention for him?
I wouldn´t be too hard on yourself Valerie..
After all, you have done all you can for him I am betting.
However, sorry for how you are feeling.
Believe me, I am done with pacifying mine..but mine is another story altogether.
If I was so touchy in life, I would have folded by now with what people say and continue to say to me.
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
14 Aug 17
@just4him I hope it all works out Valerie. Good he has a thick skin then.
2 people like this
@just4him (305532)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Aug 17
He does have a thick skin, but I said something that I know will take time to get over. I had promised myself not to say anything like that to my kids when I grew up with those kinds of words hurled at me all the time, and here I was, doing it to him. I'm devastated and I know he is too. It could take a while for him to come around and interact with me again.
2 people like this
@atoz1to10 (6781)
• Australia
13 Aug 17
I'm sorry to hear about this and don't know what else to say. What is done is done so try to think less of it and be happy. All the best.
2 people like this
@just4him (305532)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Aug 17
@atoz1to10 I'm doing better thank you. I'm still praying he will come around and contact me.
1 person likes this
