A modern obituary

@Asylum (46319)
Manchester, England
August 13, 2017 4:39am CST
Over the previous weeks I have had several conversations with my brother concerning aspects of mortality. One of these was on the subject of obituaries, which raised a very interesting point. During my parents’ days it was common practice to post obituaries in the local newspaper in order to ensure that all interested parties were made aware of someone’s death. Nowadays very few people would ever consider reading the obituaries, which rather makes the practice obsolete. We all have a diverse collection of friends and acquaintances who would like to know, such as ex work colleagues or people in other areas. We spent a little time trying to decide on a more practical approach to spread such news. The best suggestion that I could think of was to have the announcement posted on the deceased’s Facebook page in order to encompass people from all relevant sectors. For example, I have a few Facebook friends from my home town, a couple of ex work colleagues and even a few Mylot members, who in turn would spread the word. Does anyone here still read obituaries in the newspaper, or maybe have a more practical suggestion?
17 people like this
17 responses
@LadyDuck (113152)
• Switzerland
13 Aug
They still publish the obituaries in the local newspaper, but I almost never buy a newspaper, usually I learn from my neighbors if someone we know is no more. In my opinion the Facebook pace of the deceased is the best way to reach the most people. They will take care to spread the news. I know you are planning, but please, keep faith to get better.
6 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
This does not mean that I have conceded, simply that I have considered all situations.
6 people like this
@LadyDuck (113152)
• Switzerland
13 Aug
@Asylum Knowing you from a bit of time, I was sure of this. I know you are considering all situations.
4 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
@LadyDuck It shall become relevant eventually even if I live another 100 years.
3 people like this
@MALUSE (30121)
• Denmark
13 Aug
I always check the daily local newspaper.
4 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
I thought that practice had ceased years ago. It certainly seems to have in England.
2 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
@MALUSE This was common practice here, but a long while ago.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (30121)
• Denmark
13 Aug
@Asylum Maybe the English got wise and gave up the practice when the deceased didn't answer although they were addressed directly. :-)
1 person likes this
@poehere (17075)
• French Polynesia
14 Aug
This is so funny. When I was small my grandmother started the day off reading the obituaries. I asked her why. She answered and said she wanted to see what friend she had lost now. How sad.
3 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
14 Aug
My mother was exactly the same. It seems to have been common practice for the earlier generation, but not these days.
2 people like this
@poehere (17075)
• French Polynesia
15 Aug
@Asylum It is not something I care to read about. I know it happens all the time, but why go looking for it.
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
15 Aug
@poehere I suppose this depends on attitude. In my parents' days it was a common practice to read obituaries.
• United States
16 Aug
When my husband passed on I put it in the local paper and on his Facebook page. Many people delete the Facebook account after awhile and then the notice is gone. An obituary in the newspaper is essential for genealogy. It is there forever. You are a part of a line of people whether you are the last one or not. Many, like me, add all the extended family to their trees, not just direct lines. It's a lasting memorial of your life here, whether it's read today or discovered repeatedly over time in the future.
3 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
16 Aug
Now that is certainly an interesting aspect that would never have occurred to me.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Aug
@Asylum It's really something to consider.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
16 Aug
@Jeanniemaries Very true.
1 person likes this
• Lakewood, Colorado
13 Aug
I subscribe to a few newspapers online by email notification, news of places I have lived and that is a lot. I do sometimes read the obits. But I think your idea of Facebook posting would be far more wide reaching.
3 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
Too few people read the obituaries these days.
1 person likes this
• Lakewood, Colorado
13 Aug
@Asylum I agree with that. Hope the day is kind to you xo
1 person likes this
• China
13 Aug
I feel sad after reading your post.I don't think you have come to the point where you have to think of the obituary.Here few people post obituaries in the local newspaper now.Generally people paste the obituaries on a conspicuous place close to where the deceased lived in or worked at.
2 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
The discussion about obituaries between my brother and myself was purely academic and does not mean that I have conceded.
2 people like this
• China
14 Aug
@Asylum Oh,I see.Hold on,things will get better than you know.
2 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
14 Aug
@changjiangzhibin89 They could and I look forward to that.
2 people like this
@jstory07 (56064)
• Roseburg, Oregon
13 Aug
I only read the Sunday newspaper and buy it for the coupons and not for the obituaries section.
2 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
14 Aug
The obituaries appear to be rarely read by anyone these days.
1 person likes this
@Susan2015 (17973)
• United States
13 Aug
I do look at that section when I read the newspapers. Now it seems in some cases though, that if you post it, there is a chance the home will be broken into especially if the person lived alone. So when my mom passed, I didn't put it in the paper, I called people and told them instead even though I lived there. My grandfathers house was broken into after he passed, I just couldn't prove who did it even though I had a pretty good idea. Not a good idea to post it if the person lived alone or not alone.
2 people like this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
You are the second person to mention this, which had not previously occurred to me.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (91862)
• Bunbury, Australia
24 Aug
This seems a really good idea. I don't read obituaries either or at least not often. Mostly I hear from someone else if a friend has passed away.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
24 Aug
That would appear to be the normal these days, although in my case the people concerned son several different areas.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (91862)
• Bunbury, Australia
24 Aug
@Asylum I think I'll write my own obituary for myLot and leave instructions for Vince to post it.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
24 Aug
@JudyEv That would not be such a bad idea.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (2538)
• United States
20 Aug
I only look them up online if I'm looking for someone and can't find them on FB or other avenues. In the meantime, I don't want an announcement. Those in my life now will know.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
20 Aug
In my case there will be a few people from varied walks of life, which is why I chose this approach.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (2538)
• United States
20 Aug
@Asylum It's a good approach. I don't want a fuss and LifeLegacy is taking my body for science. I'm sure my kids will pass the word and one will change my FB and other social to be deceased.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
20 Aug
@noni1959 In this day and age I cannot imagine any other method actually working effectively.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (29346)
• El Paso, Texas
13 Aug
I never read the obituaries so your approach makes a lot of sense. Maybe even tweet it, seems twitter gets a lot of notice these days Hummmm, I haven't checked mine in a few weeks................
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
I have never even visited the Twitter site.
2 people like this
@rebelann (29346)
• El Paso, Texas
13 Aug
Many people do @Asylum and although I have an account there I seldom look at it.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
20 Aug
@Asylum Twitter is monopolized in the US buy the current misbegotten occupant of the White House.
1 person likes this
• Japan
13 Aug
I have also thought some about that and I also think Facebook is the best plan. I have made sure that someone from each Facebook group I'm in is "friended" so in case anything happens to me (not that I'm expecting it to, but it could) all my important groups would know. My family is already all on Facebook and each major group from my past has several people who have joined. Sorry you have to be thinking about this.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
Thinking about this does not infer that I am expecting to die soon. It was simply a natural subject to consider since it will surely occur some day. My brother has the password for my Facebook account so that he can post directly.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
20 Aug
@Asylum I suppose that I would like my FB friends to know, but that does not encompass the many people I worked with and have known for many years. But then, should I care if they even know?
@PatZAnthony (11721)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
6 Sep
Your idea of using Facebook seems to be a good one. We lost several people last year and Facebook was a big help. It seems cold to some, but many we know do not want a typical obituary posted in a newspaper. If people are close to us, they will know the situation and not be shocked when they get a call, a Facebook message, etc.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
6 Sep
Only m neighbour and my brother know offline, so friends, ex workmates and even my neices are unaware of my condition. If I tell someone face to face that I have cancer they would tend to be uncomfortable and at a loss of what to say. Therefore I have avoided distressing people unnecessarily.
@marlina (58336)
• Canada
14 Aug
I think that your idea of the Facebook announcement is the best.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
14 Aug
Well nobody has made a better suggestion so far.
@Mrgana1 (297)
• Nigeria
13 Aug
You are practically right, things change has we develop, facebook is an online community where informations can easily be dispatched.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (46319)
• Manchester, England
13 Aug
It was the best option that I could think of, but someone may have a better idea.
• Eugene, Oregon
20 Aug
Interesting that you wrote about this. Here, obits are written by the deceased's family, I think, with a photo of him or her. There are some in weekday papers and sometimes two full pages on Sunday. With yet another birthday around the corner, I have given a little thought to whether I would want one or not. I glance at them to see if I knew the deceased, since I have lived in this city for over forty years.
@Shiva49 (9023)
• Singapore
17 Aug
I hardly read obituaries in newspapers; in fact, I have ceased subscribing to them. I get free sheets when I can though. In another website there was a lady who was quite active with strong views. And we were shocked to read about her demise when someone else, not a member, posted a note. I am not that active in Facebook but that is a good platform to reach many to inform about our passing - siva