My Boyfriend's Family is So Freaking Rude

United States
August 14, 2017 12:32pm CST
Last week I emailed my boyfriend's adoptive sister, who is a lot older than him. She has a son a year younger than him. Anyway, she just emailed me back this morning and it was a normal email until the end, where she tagged on this lecture about how I need to return these oils her son's wife GAVE me over a year ago to help with my anxiety if I'm not using them. First of all, I was unaware that these essential oils were on loan. It was just a small amount and the wife said she made them up just for me. I didn't ask her to do it. I only asked if she could recommend a certain oil to help with anxiety and she offered to hook me up with some. If I had known they were going to be weird about it, I would have paid her. But she made it out like it was a gift. I don't even know how her mother-in-law knows about it unless she griped to her about it. Regardless, I don't appreciate being lectured like a misbehaving little kid. So now I'm pissed and am wondering whether to ignore what my boyfriend's sister said or message the daughter-in-law and tell her she can have her freaking oils back. I thought she gifted them to me to be nice, but apparently that family doesn't do anything just for the sake of being nice. It's pretty shady to have your mother-in-law contact someone you gave a gift to demanding it back. This is a 34 year old woman. She could have said something to me herself instead of having my boyfriend's sister contact me and be rude about it. Edited to add: I just went back through my old conversation with her regarding the oils, and I asked her what I owed... And she flat out said "no cost for these." So why are they now making a stink over it??
6 people like this
7 responses
@dodo19 (33612)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
14 Aug 17
I can certainly understand why you are upset. Take some time and calm down. Then maybe, once you are, ask this niece and see if she wants it back.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Aug 17
I'm betting she didn't even ask her mother-in-law to say anything. My boyfriend's sister is probably just trying to start drama. Wouldn't be the first time she's done something like this.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (33612)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
14 Aug 17
@Srbageldog Some people are just like that. Some just like to start drama.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Aug 17
@dodo19 Yes, and this woman is a bully but disguises it by acting all friendly... Until she chews your head off over some non-issue. The longer I know her, the more I see her mean side.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Aug 17
That is really very nasty Stacy for them to do this to you.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Aug 17
Especially since I initially offered to pay her and she flat out said "no cost for these." But now over a year later they're making a stink over it? Not sure if it's the daughter in law behind it or just my boyfriend's sister trying to start crap.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Aug 17
@Srbageldog Really crappy behavior Stacy.
2 people like this
@noni1959 (3725)
• United States
20 Aug 17
I'm wondering if the oil conversation was innocent on the daughter-in-law's end as if the MIL mentioned getting something for stress and she may have said she made you some oils to help. I would tell your boyfriend's adopted sister nice but firm those oils were given at no cost per your verification in an email when you were gifted and she must be confused. Then drop it. If she mentions it again, I would ask the DIL if she changed her mind. It has been a year. If the family can be rude, maybe don't email them.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Aug 17
I am wondering the same. I am friendly with the DIL when I see her (well obviously she offered to make me some oils and then refused to accept payment for them...I don't think you would do that for someone you weren't friendly with!) The MIL does like to bully people at times, but she's unpredictable about it. Sometimes she's nice and I enjoy her company, but then she'll turn around and bite your head off over some issue you didn't even know was an issue. :(
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3725)
• United States
20 Aug 17
@Srbageldog I had an ex mother-in-law who did this. She's be like your best friend in person and lie, talk bad etc behind your back. It got to the point I stopped going over there after my father-in-law passed. He was good to me and would get after them if they talked bad.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 17
@noni1959 It's a shame people do this. My boyfriend's sister's husband does it too. They are always gossiping about people behind their backs so I'm sure they do it to us too.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55167)
• United States
14 Aug 17
WOW. What a mess. I would forget the sister messaged you and go straight to the wife and ask why she randomly wants them back I hate shady people and those who cant do things just for the sake of being nice.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Aug 17
I'm still debating whether to contact the wife or not. There's always the chance that she just mentioned in passing that she gave me essential oils and the MIL took it upon herself to start crap. So if the wife had nothing to do with this, then it will start more drama if I confront her. If I confront my boyfriend's sister then it also instigates crap (even though she started it.) Either way it adds fuel to their craziness and I'll end up being painted out like some ungrateful jerk. But I also don't want them to think they can just walk all over me. I hate people who pull crap like this. You think they're being nice and then later on they throw it back in your face.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55167)
• United States
15 Aug 17
@Srbageldog id message the sister first then
1 person likes this
@marguicha (102194)
• Chile
14 Aug 17
Tell her that you used them all.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Aug 17
I did use most of them! One was in a tube you hold up to your nose and inhale when feeling anxious and the other ones were roll-ons, which I've used... What is she going to do if I give them back, recycle them? That's unsanitary.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (102194)
• Chile
15 Aug 17
@Srbageldog So you can tell her to come and get the tiny bit that is left of them. That lady is not so rude as she is a bit dumb
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (69923)
• Roseburg, Oregon
16 Aug 17
Just tell her you used them all and they do not exist anymore. How rude to act that way. When I l give some one something I do not want it back.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 17
I would never dream of asking for something back if I had given it away. Or to bring up how expensive they are to the person I had given it to. I am beginning to think that their family is deranged. Or have no manners.
@vsai2008 (9857)
• India
15 Aug 17
Please calm down, I am sure you can think better then If she wants her oils to be returned, then you can do something about it
• United States
16 Aug 17
The point is she gave them to me, as a gift. I offered to pay her for them and she said there was no charge. Now over a year later they're acting like I ripped her off. I thought she was doing something nice last year but apparently not. I'm not sure what their intentions are by acting this way. I have a feeling they are trying to make me look bad and since they all love to gossip they have probably said bad things about me to other people already. Family shouldn't treat you that way.
1 person likes this
@vsai2008 (9857)
• India
16 Aug 17
@Srbageldog I understand what you are saying, that kind of behavior is not at all good. Some people are like that, they make big issues out of nothing just to make others riled up. Did you contact anyone regarding this?
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 17
@vsai2008 No, so far I haven't said anything to anyone about it. I'm still debating whether to bring it up to the wife or not.