AN OLD FLAME

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@Kandae11 (53538)
August 22, 2017 9:14am CST
Had a chance meeting with an old flame of mine - well, maybe I shouldn't say 'flame' - because I don't recall any sparks in that relationship which ended over eight years ago. Thing is, he would like us to renew our friendship - but I don't think so. He has this weird habit of addressing me by my surname - which won't be all that bad - except that he puts 'Miss' in front of it. Would you feel comfortable with a boyfriend who addresses you as - Miss Brown , Miss Smith or whatever your surname is? - seems weird to me . What do you think? Would you be bothered?
23 people like this
24 responses
• United States
22 Aug 17
Strange... I have heard of this however. Usually the guy is subservient, reserved.
5 people like this
• United States
22 Aug 17
@Kandae11 No it should not, and I agree, something from his background or else he just simply thinks he is being respectful.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
I suppose it is something from his background - because I am certainly not intimidating - and he is about 6ins taller than I am. I should mention that I am 5 years older than he is - but it doesn't show, and shouldn't be a factor anyway.
4 people like this
@louievill (28859)
• Philippines
22 Aug 17
Maybe he thinks its cute when it's in fact it's not.
4 people like this
@louievill (28859)
• Philippines
22 Aug 17
@Kandae11 I would ask him directly "why are you calling me by my surname?" If I were you and tell him that you don't feel comfortable with it, there's nothing to lose.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
He addressed me the same way when we met yesterday.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
@louievill I asked him before when we were in a relationship but he didn't give me an answer - just smiled - and I didn't press on with the issue.
3 people like this
@allknowing (130092)
• India
23 Aug 17
That is no criteria to judge someone's character. A simple request I suppose would right the wrong.
3 people like this
@allknowing (130092)
• India
23 Aug 17
@Kandae11 If your name is something like Massachusetts which is not only difficult to pronounce but also difficult to spell then give him a break. There was a red line under that ghastly name and I had to correct it twice
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
@allknowing I have three rather pretty names - he could have had his pick. The shortest one has four letters and the longest six. My surname also has four letters.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
I don't think - judging character comes into it - more like, strange mannerisms. And if he finds it difficult to use my first name I won't insist that he does.
4 people like this
@jobelbojel (34707)
• Philippines
22 Aug 17
I would do the same thing with my ex to ask if we can be friends again. But to call her with her surname, I won't do that.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
I am quite sure that I look nothing like any school teacher he might have had during his childhood.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38224)
• Philippines
23 Aug 17
I find it cute. Then you can call him Mr. Smith. Together you'll be Mr and Mrs Smith. ;)
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
Didn't think of that.
@responsiveme (22932)
• India
22 Aug 17
Hmmm...Is he shy? My male colleagues call me by my surname but that is not the case here. In any case if you don't feel comfortable then there is no relationship to renew
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
He has always been sort of quiet and very respectful - but I think that is being a bit too respectful. Its not that I am an intimidating person.
1 person likes this
@velvet53 (22523)
• Palisade, Colorado
23 Aug 17
No way shape or form. He knows your name so that is what he should call you.
2 people like this
@velvet53 (22523)
• Palisade, Colorado
23 Aug 17
@Kandae11 Whelp, that is his loss. How old is he?
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
I have three , he could have taken his pick.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
@velvet53 About five years younger than me - but it doesn't show. He is over 6ft and I am 5' 5'
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (48786)
• United States
23 Aug 17
I'm not really sure how I would feel
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (48786)
• United States
23 Aug 17
@Kandae11 did you ever tell him that it bothered you ?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
It didn't feel right to me, but then one should ask - is there anything really wrong about it ?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
@Tampa_girl7 I didn't actually say it bothered me - just asked him why - jokingly. His answer was a smile, so I left it at that. Not a very communicative chap, so I doubt I'll give it another go.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
22 Aug 17
Uh, I have to admit that would bother me, I am not his teacher. Miss would only be fine if I was his teacher. I wouldn't take a chance dating him again.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
And he doesn't talk much either - as if he is hiding a deep, dark secret.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
22 Aug 17
@Kandae11 , oh no, nah ah, that is just too odd! Really rather don't get together with him again, sheesh.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
@bluesa I had decided already, but I am glad you agree.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
22 Aug 17
I only call people that when I first meet them @Kandae11 . For someone that you dated; I think it's rude.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
23 Aug 17
@Kandae11 That is just weird especially when you told him about it.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
i mentioned it to him in the beginning - but he simply smiled and continued addressing me the same way. And he did it again yesterday when we met after eight years of no contact.
2 people like this
@DianneN (246452)
• United States
22 Aug 17
I can see why there were no sparks. He sounds obsequious to me, and thus, my answer is a definite NO!
1 person likes this
@DianneN (246452)
• United States
22 Aug 17
@Kandae11 I don't blame you.
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
So be it. No renewed acquaintance.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (99437)
• Atlanta, Georgia
23 Aug 17
It would bother me I would ask him to call me by my first name.
2 people like this
@RubyHawk (99437)
• Atlanta, Georgia
24 Aug 17
@Kandae11 No, you couldn't do that. Maybe if you see him a few times he will call you by your name. Maybe he's shy.
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
I mentioned it , but he fell back into the same pattern - so I didn't force the issue.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Aug 17
No way! I agree it's weird. It's too normal. It would be much better for me if he will address me by my nick name.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
Definitely. I thought it was weird.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Aug 17
@Kandae11 I mean formal. It's too formal.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
@JustBhem I agree.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
22 Aug 17
I like it, I think it's cute. Then again that's just me. I also wouldn't know how to address him, Mr.so-and-so? Aw, flattering compliment that he is still interested, anyway... :-)
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
22 Aug 17
@Kandae11 Yeah... all of the time would be irritating
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
It became annoying after awhile.
2 people like this
@averygirl72 (37495)
• Philippines
23 Aug 17
Maybe he is trying to be polite and formal but I want somebody who is casual and not very formal to talk to
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
Me too. That's just a bit too formal for me.
@cintol (11278)
• United States
23 Aug 17
Yeah, that would be a little weird, why would he address you like that. Does he not remember your first name.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
He should - it is an easy name to remember.
@JESSY3236 (18663)
• United States
22 Aug 17
yeah I would be bothered by that.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
It is certainly a first for me - no one else I knew, except children and people I am not really acquainted with - ever did that.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66861)
• Philippines
23 Aug 17
maybe he was already too personal that he wanted respect to still grow between the both of you?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
23 Aug 17
Probably. But I don't know of any couples being that formal - or maybe they were - fifty or more years ago.
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (15706)
• United States
22 Aug 17
That is a bit strange. I would probably not renew a friendship with someone like that either
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Aug 17
Could be some thing from his past - I don't know.
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
22 Oct 17
so weird! stay far away, he sounds like a creep from your post
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53538)
22 Oct 17
I certainly never met anyone like him before.
1 person likes this