Are both your parents in your life?

@skydream (1102)
Agate, Colorado
September 1, 2017 3:20pm CST
Mine aren't, they used to be. Some situations happened, my dad got married and left and stopped talking to us. It's been a little more than 5 years since he did and my family always lectures me telling me I should fix it. I feel like he's the parent, he's the one who left he should be the one who cares to fix it. Throughout my life my dad favored my sister, was there to take pictures with her for both proms, never took any with me, taught her how to drive not me, would take her out not me etc. Well when he left he left her life too. However recenetly he reaches out to her, talks to her, gave her a car (the second one he's given her) drove down here to help her and even told her he has a new girlfriend who has a kid that wants to meet her. Me however? He doesn't reach out to, he doesn't try to help, he didn't even ask me to meet his girlfriend. My sister gets mad at him for everything and it's frustrating because he's constantly helping her and reaching out to her and he doesn't even talk to me and it hurts my feelings. It's hard seeing my friends with both parents when one of mine only cares to talk to my sister not me too.
14 people like this
15 responses
@Happy2BeMe (70696)
• Canada
1 Sep
I am so sorry to hear that. It must be very difficult for you. Parents should never choose favorites with their children. Sadly both my parents have passed away but both of them were a very big part of my life. There was six of us in the family and they treated us all equally.
5 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
Thank you. I agree every kid should be equal there shouldn't be favorites. I'm sorry your parents passed away, it sounds like you had a good relationship with them though.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (70696)
• Canada
2 Sep
@skydream yes we had a great relationship and I am thankful for that.
@Corbin5 (85391)
• United States
1 Sep
I think it is best to move on and just allow your dad to do what he does. People do not change, unless they want to, and I do think your dad will always be the way he is with your sister. Best to just make a good life for yourself, I would think, and ignore what your dad does. I understand how frustrated you must be, but drop the frustration and create an enjoyable life for yourself.
4 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
That's what my mom said last night. I try sometimes its just so frustrating to see it but you are right i think and I'm going to work on moving on and letting it go.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (85391)
• United States
1 Sep
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Sep
You are more strong and independent it seems where as your sister seems very needy. That may be the difference, which is a good difference. You do not need him, though she does. Even though I know you feel it, you are the strong one my friend. That is very clear to me. I am sorry it is this way though, and you are right, your Father should reach out to you. I know how this favoritism is..same in my family. And I am like you.
3 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
I don't get how parents just favorite a kid it makes no sense at all to me. But thank you that made me feel a bit better thank you! I'm sorry it's like that with you tho :(
2 people like this
• United States
1 Sep
@skydream Yes I will never understand it either Cait. My Father is gone now passed away, but he never played favorites..it is my Mom that does it to this day the same..they dont change either..she has her favorite and I dont see her, the way you dont see your Dad..I understand it. I too am sorry it is also like this for you friend. Welcome too.
1 person likes this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
@TiarasOceanView My mom's like that, she doesn't play favorites she always tries to make it equal no matter what it has to do with. It's unfortunate
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55338)
• United States
1 Sep
I get this so much! No, only my mom is in mine. My "father" left us when we were 2 and 1. After he abused my mom and was given visitation with us. Then was in and out of jail til we were roughly 18.. and only called to talk to us when he would be in jail. I tried to forgive him for leaving us, abusing my mom, having 10 kids he had nothing to do with, etc, and have him in my life after 18, but he still didn't care to be. My brother hasn't talked to him since before he was 18. But he has a daughter about 5 I think, and hes in her life and raising her and its very hurtful because we should have gotten that. All his kids should have.
3 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
Dang! That's rough I'm sorry you went through that. It's sad that he would step up for that kid but not all of you, it's not fair im sorry
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55338)
• United States
1 Sep
@skydream not fair at all. But it was his choice and my choice was to give him a shot as an adult, and he failed. So f him.
1 person likes this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
@Courtlynn For real, you were nice enough to give him a shot you're better without
1 person likes this
@KristenH (21248)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
1 Sep
My mother passed away three years ago. My father and I have been estranged for over 20 years, until my brother and I reconnected with him. So I'm grateful to have him in my life nowadays.
3 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
Oh wow that's sad, but good you reconnected with him!
1 person likes this
@KristenH (21248)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
1 Sep
@skydream Yeah it is. It was my brother's decision to reconnect, five years ago. And I slowly soon followed.
@dodo19 (28613)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
1 Sep
I'm sorry that you don't talk to your dad. I don't talk to my dad either. It's kind of a long story, but such is life. My mom will often suggest that I get in touch with my dad, but like you, I feel like he could me as well. It shouldn't be all up to me. If he wants to talk, he can call. I do understand how you feel.
2 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
Definitely. I feel like parents should always try their best to be there with their kid and if something happens they should try to fix it. I'm sorry you can understand how i feel too
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (28613)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
1 Sep
@skydream I guess it's just one of those things. It shouldn't be just up to us to fix things. Hopefully, one day, things may be a little a different. I have some doubts with my dad and I, but we'll see.
1 person likes this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
@dodo19 It really shouldn't. I hope whatever would be best happens
1 person likes this
@just4him (96480)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
1 Sep
That's a real shame. Parents shouldn't be that way towards their children. Mine passed in the last two years.
2 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
They really shouldn't. I'm sorry about that
1 person likes this
@just4him (96480)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
2 Sep
@skydream They lived a long life and were in their 80's when they passed. Thank you.
@snowy22315 (36399)
• United States
1 Sep
That's an unfortunate situation. I talk to both my parents..but my dad is completely domineered by my mother,,and when I call he usually hands the phone to her. Neither of them are especially helpful..but then again they are old.
2 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
It's nice you talk to both of them that's a good part
1 person likes this
@Lizirazo (2459)
• United States
1 Sep
So sorry to hear about this and can't imagine how you feel. I have both parents in my life, my parents have always treated us equally and have never chosen a favourite.
2 people like this
@skydream (1102)
• Agate, Colorado
1 Sep
Thank you. It's good your family is like that (:
1 person likes this
@amadeo (51436)
• United States
1 Sep
Mine been gone for some time.
2 people like this
@quantum2020 (8314)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
1 Sep
I was raised in a family. There were my parents and three brothers and two sisters. My mother would treat us equally, different than my father, who would be more incline to prefer ones from others. I think it´s common in family relations.
1 person likes this
@marlina (65128)
• Canada
14 Sep
So sorry to read about your Dad and you not doing very well. Both my parents have passed away, but we had a good life with them.
@tammys85 (9123)
• United States
6 Sep
My parents were both in my life, but unfortunately my Dad passed away in 2013. Now it's just my Mom. It's not your responsibility to fix it. He's the parent and he's the one who left. If he can reach out to your sister, then he can reach out to you. It's HIS responsibility to fix it. I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm sorry people feel the need to lecture you about it. If they're that worried about it, then maybe they should take the lectures to him.
5 Sep
I can only guess but, maybe she's the one in need? Maybe he can see that you can hold your own, or at least thinks that way. I got 2 kids and my eldest keeps on complaining how I always favor my younger kid. It's not like im doing it on purpose but for me, i see my youngest as someone who still depends on me while I expect my eldest to be strong and mature.
• Pamplona, Spain
2 Sep
You seem very strong as well. Its not fair to you either. Hope he might try and reach out to you in some way or another.