~I Don't Usually Tell Anyone But I Might Have To~

My Oldest Son
Jacksonville, Florida
September 14, 2017 9:15am CST
Good morning everyone. I hope you slept well. So the kids went to AWANA last night. My oldest son walked out of the classroom in tears for the second week in a row and he doesn't want to go back. My son has Aspergers for those that don't know. He is a very sensitive boy, and his teacher this year is VERY tough. Honestly, too tough in my opinion. The teacher acts like a football coach or something. I don't usually tell anyone about his Aspergers because I don't want him treated differently. However, I think in this situation the teacher needs to know since it's starting to become a problem. I sent him a message because I don't want to say anything in front of others and I don't want to embarrass my son. Hopefully things change or we will have to find another church, which will make all of us sad but I can't allow my son to be bullied either... The teacher didn't allow him to say his verse last night, he wouldn't let him eat, and he called him irresponsible for his brother getting his AWANA book and ripping a page. He shouldn't have left it in his brother's reach of course, but he's 9 not 15! I really hope the message gets across and changes things... The picture is of Jackson, my oldest son Here is a link with more info if your interested.
https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/asperger-syndrome
51 people like this
64 responses
@Happy2BeMe (74680)
• Canada
14 Sep
I am so sorry that Jackson is dealing with this. Poor little guy. Going to church should be a good experience for him and not one that he feels hurt about. You did right by sending the message. I hope that it will make a difference and that things change. There is no reason for the teache4 to treat anybody that way. If that does not work I would talk to the head of the church. There may have been other complaints about that teacher. I hope you don't have to leave the church because I know you like it there.
8 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Happy2beme Thank you. I know, I hate that he doesn't even want to go now! =( He has always loved going to church. Thanks, I hope the message gets the situation to change. I am praying for things to get better. Unfortunately in church you have the people that stick together and I think that would be the case-which is why if things don't change we will just have to leave.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (74680)
• Canada
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies I am sorry to hear that. I know many churches are like that.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Sep
Thanks for sharing a picture of Jackson (he's adorable even though I know you're not supposed to say that about boys). Hopefully the teacher will respond to your message by being kinder to Jackson and realizing that his methods aren't working.
8 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Marilynda1225 Thank you! He doesn't mind being called adorable, I tell him all the time. =) I hope so, I hope it goes well and doesn't back fire but either way I will know what to do after this...
5 people like this
@Courtlynn (64336)
• United States
14 Sep
I'm so sorry Jen! Poor Jackson! I wouldn't want to go back either, what a mean teacher. I hope you don't have to leave the church.
6 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Courtlynn Thank you. I know, I feel so bad for him. I am hoping the message I sent gets across and changes things. If not, we will have to go elsewhere...
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (64336)
• United States
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies hopefully it does. How do the girls feel?
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Courtlynn The girls have female teachers that are firm but still nice. I get that they have to be firm because there are 20 kids to them but there are ways to do it and ways not to. Plus with Jackson, being too harsh causes a meltdown-not getting him to do what you want him to do.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (152116)
• Switzerland
14 Sep
He is right, she is too rude and I would have been also upset. I have no problems, but I am extremely sensitive.
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@LadyDuck It's a man teacher but yes he's too tough on the kids. Especially sensitive ones like my son.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (152116)
• Switzerland
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies If he is a man, I am not sure he will understand how important it is to be more tolerant with your son.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@LadyDuck He didn't seem to care at all. =(
3 people like this
• United States
14 Sep
Oh no that has to stop immediately before he does some damage or if he already hasnĀ“t that mean teacher..what a bully!! Yes you will do whatever it takes Jennifer..sorry to hear of your sons condition but I know he would be just fine with the right people.. This makes me so mad
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@TiarasOceanView Yes I agree. That's why I had to say something-I didn't want my son being hurt any longer. He is an adult bully which is awful-especially at church! Yes, he does thrive in the right environment.
4 people like this
• United States
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies Let us know what happens. We know you would not let anyone bully your children.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@TiarasOceanView I just did an update to this one if you want to read it.
3 people like this
@Corbin5 (103023)
• United States
14 Sep
Yes, this teacher needs to be informed of your son's Asperger-syndrome. Many are not qualified to work with special needs children, but you giving tips to this teacher will definitely make a positive difference.
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Corbin5 I did let him know and he didn't feel bad or care at all. Honestly, he shouldn't be working with any children.
3 people like this
@Corbin5 (103023)
• United States
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies Oh, that is not right. He definitely is not a person who should be in the company of children.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (8520)
• Canada
14 Sep
Oh he is so cute! I think it is very important that the teacher knows about your son's asperger, so that he understands his actions are not deliberate. There is a lot more awareness about this out there now so anyone dealing with kids should be educated about it. Hope all goes well.
4 people like this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
14 Sep
I hope the teacher can recognize someone with difficulties who has special needs, but, maybe he doesn't treat the kid differently so other kids will see what happens and no one will get jealous and tell it is a discrimination (Why can he do this and that and gets away with that ?)
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Freelanzer Thank you so much! I did let him know and he didn't seem to care one bit about my son.
3 people like this
• Canada
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies I am sure you will keep an eye on it. It pains me to hear about kids being treated that way. Some people are not meant to be teachers.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27653)
• Australia
14 Sep
You did the right thing by telling the teacher and I hope things will change for the better...
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@sishy7 Thank you. I hope they get better as well.
3 people like this
@kprofgames (3018)
• United States
14 Sep
This kind of burns me a bit. Being a parent of children with autism, I can understand the hardships these children go through with trying to fit into the world around them. There is a firm teacher, but not allowing him to read? to eat? That sounds like out right being a bully and your son has been singled out. I hope you get a good, RESPONSIBLE response from this person. If not, then it's time to go over this teachers head. No child should be make for feel alienated, especially in a church setting. Love the picture. He looks like a sweet, loving boy.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@kprofgames Yes I absolutely agree! He was signaled out for God only knows what reason and this teacher was absolutely bullying him. So wrong! This is why I Home School, because I don't want to go through these things at a school all the time. But to happen at church?? SHOCKING!
3 people like this
• United States
14 Sep
I sincerely hope that this experience doesn't leave a lasting impression on him. Once shut down in public settings it takes a while to gain their confidence back again. We teach them that church is a safe place and then something like this happens.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
15 Sep
@kprofgames I know and that's why I removed him from class. It's so sad since he was finally comfortable there and made friends-now we have to start all over again. =(
1 person likes this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep
This is so sad. It is a church and not a college study group. No teacher who teaches children has the right to do this. Church is suppose to be fun and teach the children. It is not a military school and kids need to be kids. I am so sorry this happened to your son. I hope this teacher will change.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@poehere I know, it's ridiculous how he has been treated. Exactly, it's supposed to be enjoyable! I am so shocked and angry by this. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
15 Sep
@LovingMyBabies I hope it all works out and he can have fun in his church group. It would be a shame if he quit. He does enjoy it and it sounds like he learned his bible verse and was so excited to say it. That is down right mean the teacher wouldn't allow him to do this. Pus he is a small child and to deny him the food the others are eating is even worse. Nobody should do that to a small child.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
15 Sep
@poehere This teacher is very high up in the church, part of everything and pastor's friend so there's no way to avoid him and continue going to that church. So, we are stepping away from it. I agree, he's a bully and I am sick about it all.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (17093)
• United States
14 Sep
Oh I am sorry to hear that. That does seem a little tough punishment even for someone without aspergers -- much a less someone with it. I think you did the right thing.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@FayeHazel Yes I absolutely agree. It was so wrong. He isn't going back.
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (17093)
• United States
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies That's a shame that he will need to miss out on it - but it sounds like it might be doing more damage than good at this point. Poor kid. I would have thought Church leadership may have done something about it? Like told that guy to chill a little or something...
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
15 Sep
@FayeHazel I think it was doing a lot more damage than good. I don't want my son to hate church because of this one person and that's what was happening. =( We are going to find another church that we all enjoy as a family.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (19826)
• Toccoa, Georgia
14 Sep
Hopefully the teacher will get the message and treat Jackson better.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Leapea2417 I wish but he didn't care. He blamed my son for things he didn't do and my son isn't going back.
3 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (19826)
• Toccoa, Georgia
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies That is so bad when a teacher picks on a student whether it be in Sunday school or Awana or regular school. My 5th grade teacher had it out for me. I still have sad feelings about 5th grade.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
15 Sep
@LeaPea2417 It is wrong. I had a horrible 1st grade teacher, never will forget Mrs. Miller-the meanest teacher I ever had in my life.
3 people like this
@shshiju (10378)
• Cochin, India
14 Sep
Jackson looks innocent and cute. The teacher should be role model for kids. It is very sad that the teacher behaves very tough. Bullying is not allowed any where. If the message not works it is good to rethink about the matter
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@shshiju Thank you! He's a sweet boy. =) Yeah, he is way too tough on these small children.
3 people like this
@Hatley (164671)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Sep
@LovingMyBabies no church person shouo be judging a klittle boy to begiwithg t hgats niot cristrian if tghe teachedr at all shame n him to me to be a teacher in a churche for kids yoiu should be verty tolerant of the differences of kids shame oin hium
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
15 Sep
@Hatley I completely agree with you! He shouldn't be a teacher for little ones.
1 person likes this
• Ponce De Leon, Florida
14 Sep
Poor Jackson. I hope things get better!
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@thislittlepennyearns Thank you, me too.
2 people like this
• Ponce De Leon, Florida
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies I would seriously consider changing churches if things don't get better because that's not cool or fair for him. Even though changing churches will probably suck
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@thislittlepennyearns We are changing churches. =(
1 person likes this
@amadeo (63975)
• United States
14 Sep
are they aware of this.?if not you should have explain to them on t his.But t his can be very helpful
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@amadeo Well, they are now. I sent him a message letting him know about it. I am hoping things change for the better now.
2 people like this
@amadeo (63975)
• United States
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies It should.If not something is wrong with them.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@amadeo Something is clearly wrong with him because the teacher didn't care.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (32582)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
14 Sep
Hopefully, the message helps and does make a difference. Although if the teacher is so tough, maybe this individual should consider not being so hard.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@dodo19 Thanks, I hope so too. I agree-he needs to calm down, it's not boot camp!
3 people like this
@dodo19 (32582)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies exactly. If he wants to treat like one, then he should go to boot camp.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@dodo19 I absolutely agree!
3 people like this
@Mike197602 (13366)
• Worcester, England
14 Sep
I don't know what AWANA is but whoever is in charge I don't like the sound of him Maybe speak to the person privately and explain your concerns and then if nothing happens go to the top bosses.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Mike197602 It's basically Bible study for kids. I did send him a message explaining everything, I can't say anything face to face since we don't see each other much and I don't want to embarrass my son.
3 people like this
@Mike197602 (13366)
• Worcester, England
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies I think you've done the right thing. Often parents do embarrass their kids by making an issue about something and sometimes make things worse. As you've sent a message wait and see if things improve, if they don't then I suppose you'll have a decision to make about what to do.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Mike197602 Thank you. I never want to embarrass my kids, especially with something he is already sensitive and embarrassed about. Yes, if nothing improves then I know what we have to do-even if we don't like it.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (45536)
• United States
14 Sep
Yes, I would defintely talk to her and say you expect some improvement or you will speak to the pastor or who ever her supervisor is. It is wrong for her to treat your son like that! Tell her that program is supposed to be fun for kids not have them in tears!
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@snowy22315 The teacher is a male but he didn't care even after I messaged him. He doesn't seem to want my son there at all.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (45536)
• United States
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies Hmmm, well then you need to either discuss it with the minister or book. I wouldn't send him back to that class.
3 people like this
@Platespinner (16513)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
14 Sep
Hopefully sharing the diagnosis will change how the teacher interacts with your son.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Sep
@Platespinner I thought it would help also but the teacher didn't care.
3 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
14 Sep
@LovingMyBabies that's too bad.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Sep
I have no clue what AWANA is?
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (43671)
• East Tawas, Michigan
14 Sep
The Baptist churches have this organization, to teach their youth about the Bible.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Sep
@kobesbuddy oh thanks.
3 people like this