Joke for the Night
By cheongyc
@cheongyc (5072)
Malaysia
November 27, 2006 5:04am CST
Grand Pa and Grand Ma were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then, you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then, you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed covers, got out of bed and walk away. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth lah!"
3 people like this
21 responses
@zeeterman (1066)
• United States
5 Feb 07
"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to
her husband as he made his way out the front door.
The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker:
"Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that,
he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the
door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed
red roses.
At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite
chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer
dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied
that he had recovered what could have been a very bad
situation.
His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the
chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never
had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
7 Feb 07
A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, "I have this situation in the fire schedule rating table. The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"
An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go.
A casualty actuary priced an automobile "Fire and Theft" policy with an extremely low premium. When asked why it was so cheap, he said, "Who would steal a burnt car?"
1 person likes this
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
7 Feb 07
An actuary is walking down the corridor when he feels a twinge in his chest. Immediately, he runs to the stairwell and hurls himself down. His friend, visiting him in the hospital, asks why he did that.
The actuary replies, "The chances of having a heart attack and falling down the stairs are much lower than the chances of having a heart attack only."
An actuary and an underwriter are watching the eleven o'clock news. A story comes on involving a man on a window ledge threatening to jump. The underwriter says, "I'll bet you fifty bucks he doesn't jump." The actuary says, "I'll take the bet."
A few minutes later they see that the guy does indeed jump. As the underwriter reaches for his wallet, the actuary says, "Never mind. It's not fair. I saw it on the six o'clock news." The underwriter responds, "So did I, but I just didn't think it would happen twice."
1 person likes this
@aznchong91 (114)
• Hong Kong
27 Nov 06
hehe, nice one. what's up with the "lah"? are you canto?
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
5 Feb 07
Hihihi...haha...it's really a good joke with unexpected ending. You know earlier I thought the grandpa might left the room and slept in the long sofa in the sitting room that normally happened in the soaps on TV, but...LOL.
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
22 Jan 07
Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
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@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
I was not able to read this one on your discussion, Its fun. How are your earnings, I have not gone back to stormpay yet. Do you still come to mylot? I haven't seen any new discussions you made. come back
@cheongyc (5072)
• Malaysia
23 Jan 07
Thanks for your compliment. I have earned $31.51 so far in mylot. :) Recently due to the network outage caused by the Taiwan Earthquake, i could hardly access mylot website. I think stormpay had stopped the $1 referral program now. I had earned about $16 from it :) But you can still earn from the stormclix section. Don't worry perry, i will always be in mylot, it's really a good site to learn and make friends.
