Why Stay Friends?
September 21, 2017 1:24pm CST
A few days ago, a good friend of mine whom I have known for a long time was feeling a little down because a friendship between her and another girl-friend of hers just ended recently due to miscommunication and the other girl didn't want to talk it out and work on whatever issues they had going on. I never asked for details, but my friend and I are very close so she told me what basically happened from her point of view. I am not really friends with the other girl so I never really got her version. I know how my friend can be at times so I know all the blame does not fall on the other person involved. So she basically got into it that she feels like she wasted all those years with her if she can just throw it all away like that. She wonders if she's better off trying to find people with similar interest as her. Now while I agree that common interest with someone does draw them closer to one another, I do not feel that is the only reason you have be friends with someone. Her and I don't have a whole lot in common, but we have been friends on and off for about 11 years. She feels we are connected because we can talk about basically anything and be open-minded with each other which I feel you should be with anyone you are close to weather it be a friend or relative. If you are drawn to someone and love them, there doesn't always necessarily need to be a reason. It takes a lot to sustain a friendship/relationship and a lot of compromise, loyalty, trust and communication among a lot of other things. Some friendships are meant to last while others teach you lessons and makes you realize what you do and don't want, much like a relationship. Treasure them for what they are and try not to think too much about why you became friend with that person and just be happy you found somebody who loves you and respects you enough to stick around. Copyright@Danielle Rhodes
10 people like this
• Paradise, California
I agree some are meant to last, and some you're just better giving up. We should all be willing to compromise, but when you find yourself constantly having to "work" on it, best to take some time off. I have friends who it seems like I'd have nothing in common with, but our basic values and attitude toward life might be the same. It's a kind of chemistry and ability to communicate.
4 people like this
• Nairobi, Kenya
Friendships come and go but I have come to learn that sometimes to keep a friend you need to also realise who you are in terms of personality and all. I have learned to quickly let go of friendships that I feel will never work and to give space to those that I feel could work but need time to grow.
3 people like this
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
I agree. I've had some friendships fall by the wayside, and in retrospect, it was a good thing. You need to value your friends and let them know you are willing to listen. That will go farther than just wanting out when things don't go your way.
• Agate, Colorado
Like you said some friendships last and others don't. I lost a best friend recently like her and it sucks but it happens. I think you don't need someone with a ton in common if you guys have a good time together and can have good conversations it doesn't really matter what or how much you have in common. People also need to realize if a friendship is worth fighting for and if they are willing to work on things that may irritate the other person. HOwever, if the other person doesn't want to or care to fix it then its time to move on and find friends that will stay
I don't have much friends but a lot of acquaintances. I think true friends are really rare. Sometimes we thought of someone as a friend but they are really not. For me a real friend will stay no matter what and nothing can really ruin a true friendship.
• United States
Never believe that your past friendships are a wast of time. As you are only degrading yourself in this thought process. This is a response made out of anger and lack of understanding. Humans are curious creatures by nature; thus we find interest, in the differences, in one another. We like a certain level of resistances in our lives that challenges us to debate our common beliefs. It gives us the ability to see the world through another's perception. It also inspires us to think outside of the little box, that is our life. In this time we share our thoughts, grievances, and joys with the other person. Although the relationship my come to an end, no matter the cause, we have learned so much that we take for granted in that short time. As life is not so much about the destination, as it is about the journey getting there.
• Calgary, Alberta
Most of my real life friends dont have a common ground with me. They are opposites of me and I don't know why I became their friends. The friends I have that have the same interest are online friends.
Sometimes friendships aren't built on the greatest of foundations. I have walked away from a few friends who in my opinion just weren't my type of friend. I have had friends who have talked crap behind my back and destroyed other friendships that I had previous to meeting them. I have had friends who run into an old friend and end up forgetting they had a friend in me as well, and when I tried to re approach them they had no use for anything about me. I recently had another friend who for some reason decided that she just didn't want to be nice so I walked away from them as well. I refuse to be used I have been used most of my life, no more, if a friend can't be a true friend I don't want any part of it. Mind you I am always kosher with them should I run into them or see them.
• Orangeville, Ontario
Read a book by Debbie Macomber called God's Guest Book. It tells you about the reason people come into our lives. I have since started a journal called God's Guest Book and wrote about the people who have been in my life in the past and will continue to write about people who come in (and out) of my life. Journal writing helps with self-analysis, gets your thoughts on paper and sometimes helps figure out the whys.