Why Stay Friends?

Photo credit: Pixabay.com
United States
September 21, 2017 1:24pm CST
A few days ago, a good friend of mine whom I have known for a long time was feeling a little down because a friendship between her and another girl-friend of hers just ended recently due to miscommunication and the other girl didn't want to talk it out and work on whatever issues they had going on. I never asked for details, but my friend and I are very close so she told me what basically happened from her point of view. I am not really friends with the other girl so I never really got her version. I know how my friend can be at times so I know all the blame does not fall on the other person involved. So she basically got into it that she feels like she wasted all those years with her if she can just throw it all away like that. She wonders if she's better off trying to find people with similar interest as her. Now while I agree that common interest with someone does draw them closer to one another, I do not feel that is the only reason you have be friends with someone. Her and I don't have a whole lot in common, but we have been friends on and off for about 11 years. She feels we are connected because we can talk about basically anything and be open-minded with each other which I feel you should be with anyone you are close to weather it be a friend or relative. If you are drawn to someone and love them, there doesn't always necessarily need to be a reason. It takes a lot to sustain a friendship/relationship and a lot of compromise, loyalty, trust and communication among a lot of other things. Some friendships are meant to last while others teach you lessons and makes you realize what you do and don't want, much like a relationship. Treasure them for what they are and try not to think too much about why you became friend with that person and just be happy you found somebody who loves you and respects you enough to stick around. Copyright@Danielle Rhodes
9 people like this
14 responses
@CinnamonGrl (5796)
• Paradise, California
21 Sep
I agree some are meant to last, and some you're just better giving up. We should all be willing to compromise, but when you find yourself constantly having to "work" on it, best to take some time off. I have friends who it seems like I'd have nothing in common with, but our basic values and attitude toward life might be the same. It's a kind of chemistry and ability to communicate.
4 people like this
• United States
21 Sep
Yes I agree on the chemistry part.
2 people like this
@Kind4321 (868)
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Sep
Chemistry is very important...Its difficult to have a friend whom when you talk you both go blank and start thinking what to talk about
2 people like this
• United States
21 Sep
@Kind4321 Unfortunatly that happens a lot with other people. That's why they are more of acquaintances.
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Sep
Friendships come and go but I have come to learn that sometimes to keep a friend you need to also realise who you are in terms of personality and all. I have learned to quickly let go of friendships that I feel will never work and to give space to those that I feel could work but need time to grow.
3 people like this
• United States
21 Sep
Awesome advice. :-) Thank you for that input.
@just4him (91511)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
22 Sep
I agree. I've had some friendships fall by the wayside, and in retrospect, it was a good thing. You need to value your friends and let them know you are willing to listen. That will go farther than just wanting out when things don't go your way.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Sep
Thank you! Agreed! Most friends appreciate effort and willingness to listen.
1 person likes this
@skydream (1050)
• Agate, Colorado
21 Sep
Like you said some friendships last and others don't. I lost a best friend recently like her and it sucks but it happens. I think you don't need someone with a ton in common if you guys have a good time together and can have good conversations it doesn't really matter what or how much you have in common. People also need to realize if a friendship is worth fighting for and if they are willing to work on things that may irritate the other person. HOwever, if the other person doesn't want to or care to fix it then its time to move on and find friends that will stay
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep
Wholeheartedly agree! Friendships do take work much like relationships. If one or both give up or it's just way too toxic, perhaps it may be best for it to end.
2 people like this
@skydream (1050)
• Agate, Colorado
21 Sep
@DanieGirl80587 Yes definitely! No reason to keep trying to get hurt. Hope your friend's okay (:
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep
@skydream I think she will be. She a pretty strong independent woman. :-) Thank you.
1 person likes this
13 Nov
emotions, people, share, play,
The truth in life is to know people in order to share our emotions because any individual or being needs some company. I think.
• United States
17 Nov
I think some company to a degree is vital. Company with the wrong people can break you and make you not want the drama.
1 person likes this
19 Nov
@DanieGirl80587 Yes, I believe it too.
@SHOHANA (7134)
• Bangladesh
22 Sep
friends means support for lifetime
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep
The real ones anyway.
2 people like this
@SHOHANA (7134)
• Bangladesh
22 Sep
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17262)
• Philippines
22 Sep
I don't have much friends but a lot of acquaintances. I think true friends are really rare. Sometimes we thought of someone as a friend but they are really not. For me a real friend will stay no matter what and nothing can really ruin a true friendship.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep
Yeah I have many friends whom I thought were friends just kind of forget you and walk away like nothing. It's rare to find real friends that love you no matter what and stick by your side forever.
• United States
22 Sep
Never believe that your past friendships are a wast of time. As you are only degrading yourself in this thought process. This is a response made out of anger and lack of understanding. Humans are curious creatures by nature; thus we find interest, in the differences, in one another. We like a certain level of resistances in our lives that challenges us to debate our common beliefs. It gives us the ability to see the world through another's perception. It also inspires us to think outside of the little box, that is our life. In this time we share our thoughts, grievances, and joys with the other person. Although the relationship my come to an end, no matter the cause, we have learned so much that we take for granted in that short time. As life is not so much about the destination, as it is about the journey getting there.
• United States
22 Sep
Beautifully said. Thank you for your thoughts :-)
@MissNikki (2459)
• Canada
22 Sep
I lost a very long friendship years ago due to differences that we just could not reconcile ... sometimes you have to let go of a person in order to live your own life and not be held down by them any longer.
1 person likes this
19 Nov
I agree I also broke with a friendship of decades and two years for the same.
• Calgary, Alberta
21 Sep
Most of my real life friends dont have a common ground with me. They are opposites of me and I don't know why I became their friends. The friends I have that have the same interest are online friends.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep
I have some friends I have a lot in common with and some I don't. Doesn't make them any less special to me.
• Canada
21 Sep
Sometimes friendships aren't built on the greatest of foundations. I have walked away from a few friends who in my opinion just weren't my type of friend. I have had friends who have talked crap behind my back and destroyed other friendships that I had previous to meeting them. I have had friends who run into an old friend and end up forgetting they had a friend in me as well, and when I tried to re approach them they had no use for anything about me. I recently had another friend who for some reason decided that she just didn't want to be nice so I walked away from them as well. I refuse to be used I have been used most of my life, no more, if a friend can't be a true friend I don't want any part of it. Mind you I am always kosher with them should I run into them or see them.
• United States
21 Sep
Aww I'm really sorry you've had such aweful friends like that. There are good people out there who won't treat you like that. I choose my friends wisely and won't just be friends with anyone I meet on the streets. I am picky lol.
@patgalca (13962)
• Orangeville, Ontario
21 Sep
Read a book by Debbie Macomber called God's Guest Book. It tells you about the reason people come into our lives. I have since started a journal called God's Guest Book and wrote about the people who have been in my life in the past and will continue to write about people who come in (and out) of my life. Journal writing helps with self-analysis, gets your thoughts on paper and sometimes helps figure out the whys.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep
That is a wonderful idea! That book sounds really interesting. :-)
@Kind4321 (868)
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Sep
True some people are in our lives for only a season and a reason...So we should know when the seasons end and pick up the lessons learnt to make us build stronger relationships in future.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep
Agreed :-)
1 person likes this
@kepweng (6288)
21 Sep
nice poem i love what i read hope we can be friends too
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep
Well, it's not exactly a poem lol, but thank you, Hope we can be friends too. :-)