The Friend VS The Person!

I am having the same issue, I am a friend who sticks to them through thick and thin, who will be there no matter what. But some people just used me for the sake of themselves.

I cannot say that I have a bad temper, but I do not appreciate when a friend asks a lot and does nothing when I need a little help. I try to be nice, but at the end I stop getting in touch with that friend.

Oh goodness, I am sorry, I don't want you to think I forgot about you! I've just been really worn out this week and I've been sleeping a lot as a result. I'll try to do better. Friends are important. So how have you been? Did you ever get your power back on?

I certainly know that you are a true blue friend!!!! To be honest, if I don't like someone or have been treated badly, I let them know it. I'm at the point in my life where I don't want those types of people dragging me down. I have plenty of other friends who are kind, intelligent, sweet, and fun. Whomever you are talking about isn't a good friend and so not worth your time.

Maybe we can just categorize our friends that way: a friend who will be what we wanted from them, what they are, having the same trait, a friend for a short time, and the best friend, friend and lover.

That problem hardly ever arises for me because I have lots of acquaintances but few friends. In fact for most of my life, my sisters have been my friends - I preferred it that way.

I really don`t know if I`m being friendly or being me. I want to be me comfortably and also don`t want to force anyone to like me or be friend with me because I want them to be comfortable for themselves too. It`s like I`m a friend and will be here as a friend and help to the best that I can but I will not stop you from leaving if you ever feel I`m not the friend you`re comfortable with. For me, seeing my friend happy is enough

I tend to create distance between me and my friends if I have a big problem. I feel I shouldn't be bogging them down with it. They should be happy...and when they can, make me relax. That in itself is huge. But if I tell them a problem, and they start worrying about me, it makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel I have not been a good friend. And when the friend bends backwards to help me out, I am mortified. I know how tough it is to walk that extra mile. So yes, I am a bit extra careful in expecting friends to walk that for me. If they are happy, they will give me a few moments of laughter, and that is enough for reducing my stress.

Hmmm... that sounds.... No, Cat, I don't normally do battle with myself. That seems like a fruitless thing to do, in my opinion... I have had friends who have... pulled away from me over things that were going on in my life... When those things were no longer interfering with me/my time, I reached back out to them... I have... difficulty believing someone who liked me and that I liked would intentionally let our friendship lapse. (I have been told I am a fool for reaching back out to people like that, but *shrug!* this is my life. If I choose to do foolish things in the name of friendship, then I have that right. *sigh!* I will admit, once or twice my reaching back out has backfired on me in painful ways. Once mentally painful and once physically painful, but I didn't seek consolation from people who thought I was a fool, either. I created the problem, it was mine to solve. I do realize I might not "cling" as closely to some friends as they believe I should or sometimes I cling closer than a leech, I have no idea what causes that kind of difference between how I treat people, but that type of pattern is and always has been normal for me. I always hope the person will be willing to accept what I am capable of giving without holding it against me. Uhm... I suppose I qualify as a softie or marshmallow. I won't let anyone walk all over me, although I have allowed someone to take slight advantage of me, but I was taking slight advantage of them, too. (What goes around, comes around. The only difficulty I see in that is how to keep score so you know when everyone is evened up again. For someone I like or even used to like, I might let them be ahead in the scoring... ) Life is a game. Just like in most games, someone will win and someone else will lose. I am never a fanatic about being the winner, but I don't like to lose, either. (I am a true Libra. I don't mind helping others reach their goals, but I will make sure I reach mine, too. I LIKE it when everything is in parity!)

Am I right in assuming that you're not overly enthusiastic being called 'friend' by myLot members you don't even have regular contact with? This is my pet peeve at the moment.

I know people who are like that. My philosophy is to treat everybody the way I want to be treated, not the way they treat me. I also will not let anyone walk over me or take advantage of me. However, if they don't want to talk to me, call me, or acknowledge my existence - I leave them alone.

i feel i am a good friend but a worse enemy. i am faithful and true, but i abhor fake people.

My brain seems to be mushy right now, can't think much, but hope you have come to a terrific solution .

As many have said here Catherine, you try to be nice. It costs nothing to behave in this way. Loyalty and true friendship is priceless. True friends should not have to worry about how they are being treated or mistreated. Because true friends should not take advantage of a relationship, it is a give and take, not always perfectly balanced, but shared. Someone who ignores you or disrespects you to anger would no longer be a friend to me.

I tend to let people walk all over me. I feel like I am there for people a lot more then they are for me. It sounds to me like you are doing it right your way!

I have a small handful of loyal friends who I may not see very often but whom I love dearly and I would do anything for them and they for me. I like having low maintenance friends, we enjoy our time together but there are no strings attached.

Once you get older you learn that sometimes people just use you for their convenience. I can tell you when you learn this and start to say no it is quite liberating. I shocked myself when I first started to say it as it was totally alien to me. Not now though if I do not want to something I will say so and I am much happier for finally growing up and not allowing others to walk over me!

@bluesa Catherine, no I do not battle with that.

I treat my friends the way they would like me to treat them but not to the extend of bullying me. I also have my principles and stick to them so i do not allow my friends to go against my principles.