Being Selfish On MyLot Won’t Get You Far

@poehere (17700)
French Polynesia
September 28, 2017 2:01pm CST
It seems this is an ongoing problem about people who ignore, don’t bother, or refuse to read or comment back on their responses. I see this so often and now I am tired. I just have one thing to say in all of this. We all work, come here for enjoyment, and don’t have hours on end to spend reading and responding to your discussion to be ignored by you. I have taken a new stand on this mess. If I find a discussion that is interesting and I haven’t interacted with this person before I check their profile. I look at their other discussions and see if they actually comment back to people who have responded to their discussion. If I see they pick and choose or they don’t bother, then I do the same. I move on to a person who wants to interact. This is so selfish and you are the only one who gains off of us. Be fair and play fair. This site is a give and take and it is a two way road we travel down. So if you want to write, please do so, but I won’t be one of the comments you ignore anymore. Sorry guys I just had to say this. I don’t have hours on end to read and respond to discussions and I would rather just spend my time interacting with people who like to interact with me back. What is your viewpoint on this and how do you deal with these people?
47 people like this
53 responses
@Corbin5 (106169)
• United States
28 Sep
I agree with the manner in which you deal with those who do not reciprocate.
13 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
But there are times I miss out on responding to people! sigh. :(
7 people like this
@Corbin5 (106169)
• United States
28 Sep
@vandana7 I don't think any of us can get to each and every response, but there are those who rarely or never interact and just post discussions. Those are the folks most of us skip.
8 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
I can be a few days behind, but I always seem to catch up and answer my notifications. These people don't bother and just write again.
4 people like this
@MALUSE (40095)
• Germany
28 Sep
I also check occasionally if a member has written many, hardly any or no responses at all. If the latter is the case, I stop my interaction with them.,
13 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
Sometimes, people respond days after the post and it gets overlooked. When I revisit the post, I do reply.
5 people like this
@pgntwo (21648)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
28 Sep
Damn, that's what I've been doing wrong!
5 people like this
@pgntwo (21648)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
28 Sep
@vandana7 Life has been known to get in the way occasionally, yes.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
Oh I just make friends ..at times they may not respond. At times they do. For some reason, they seem to be terrified of me..so I have not had much to complain about.
10 people like this
@jstory07 (67012)
• Roseburg, Oregon
28 Sep
Quit scaring people.
6 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
Why would they be terrified of you. You are such a nice person.
3 people like this
@kiran8 (15360)
• Mangalore, India
29 Sep
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
28 Sep
I think most of us do the best we can with the time we have here. For those that don't bother at all, I just expect not to get a response in return.
9 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
I have given up on them now. I am like you we do the best we can and our time is of value and also limited. I would rather spend it responding to other discussions that people care to answer.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
29 Sep
It is humanly impossible to be in touch with all friends everyday. Each one is special. It is also necessary to keep varying levels of sensitivity with different people. People are touchy about some issues, and our views too may not match at times. That does not mean we don't try to find common grounds or not say hello. After all, nobody here hurt me bad enough to use up most of my waking hours even for a day. And who knows, I might find solutions to my problems from the same person with whom I differ on some issues. May be I will become less prejudiced then on. myLot is great place to be, lot of learning here, as a social person, as an international person...and of course science, english and all that. :)
6 people like this
@RasmaSandra (17530)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
28 Sep
I can just say what I do. I spend as much time as I can here. My system is coming on and going through my notifications. I make all the necessary replies. Then I do discussions and interact and finally I do some posting before getting off.
8 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
I'd say my overall presence here is about an hour or so. I come here, randomly. So I can't point fingers at others, because I may not have been up to mark as well.
5 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
This is a good system. I do what I can. But I do try and read and respond to people too. I might miss some and I know I do, but when I can I really try to catch up and get to everyone at least once.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (10327)
• United States
28 Sep
I think you make a very good point. I stopped following one person because he never wrote any posts, only commented on others.
7 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
You did that? In the first few months out here, before myLot stopped paying i.e., I did not come up with posts, so katerina said write some. I used to be terrified at first. Now, I am ok.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (10327)
• United States
28 Sep
@vandana7 Well, the person never responded to my comments.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
I don't know if writing posts is all that important. If he is a good member and always comments on posts then he is a good person. Some people don't like to write.
3 people like this
@much2say (39159)
• United States
28 Sep
I try to get back to everyone - in time. And sometimes I won't even get to everyone in time . . . but I do what I can while I am here. I think we all pretty much know who will "try" . . . the ones who absolutely do not make attempts to interact will fall by the way side.
7 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
29 Sep
I get back at different times. I try to interact on different posts, and that is how I have remained in touch with others.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right. I try hard to do the same. Time is limited so it is hard to find time to do it all on the site.
3 people like this
@much2say (39159)
• United States
2 Oct
@vandana7 I am not here consistently and I'm on at different times too (like tonight - I'm not on this late most nights). I'm all over the place .
1 person likes this
@Scrapper88 (1333)
• United States
28 Sep
I always try to respond or comment to others on here. I usually comment or respond to others before I put a discussion on Mylot.
6 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
If I choose to do that, I will forget what I wanted to write in the post..lol.
4 people like this
• United States
28 Sep
@vandana7 While I am responding to others; I am trying to think of what I am going to write in the discussion.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
@Scrapper88 ...I can't multi task..I get so lost in fun...
1 person likes this
@KristenH (24052)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
28 Sep
I agree with you. Most of us are busy with work and families and other priorities. I do get on when I can, however little or most I can get. I tend to get on 3-4x a day and like/comment most of the time, even on my own posts. I do get new followers, if I do comment on their posts. But we're here to have fun besides making some money.
6 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
Yeah..it is fun that I come here for...sometimes I get lucky..I get double fun and some knowledge too, which I manage to distort..
3 people like this
@KristenH (24052)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
28 Sep
@vandana7 True.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right. I don't have time to spend hours reading and commenting on people who ignore me. I did this for a long time and now I am stopping.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (46356)
• East Tawas, Michigan
28 Sep
I agree, Ann. Some people write five or six discussions each day, but don't bother to ever read my short posts. One man does this, every day! So, I read one of his and then, ignore the rest. Not because he's not a good writer, but he's siphoning off us, but never giving back:(
5 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right. I don't have time to read posts of people like this. I would rather read ones from people who care. LIke you. You always care to answer people back and so do so many people here. These are the people I enjoy reading and answer or leaving a comment to.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (46356)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Sep
@poehere Thank you, Ann:) You are constantly learning something new about this site. Then, conveying that knowledge to all the rest of us, who really didn't understand! That's great, always taking the time to help out, other people That's amazing, you really care about your friends!
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
@kobesbuddy I do try hard when I have time. I know I am busy and a lot of times I have such great ideas, but no time to write them up. So I did this before I left to the garden to go and clean today after all the rain. What a mess this will take over a week to get this cleaned up again. Maybe longer.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
29 Sep
It sounds a good idea to check a (new) user's profile to see whether s/he responds to comments and believes in interacting with others. If s/he does not respond to comments/responses, such user could be avoided.
5 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
That is the only way to gain time on the site and not lose your time reading and responding to people who just don't care.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
29 Sep
@poehere Yes, I fully agree with you.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
3 people like this
@jstory07 (67012)
• Roseburg, Oregon
28 Sep
I always take time to go back and respond and than go and respond to others. Sometimes I think I miss some people when I sign off for the day. But than I go back and get them the next day.
5 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
I know I don't get all of my responses answered each day so when I come back I always start at the bottom and work up. This way I can get the older ones done first.
3 people like this
@jstory07 (67012)
• Roseburg, Oregon
29 Sep
@poehere That is the way I do it to.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
29 Sep
I try to do that too...sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't. I finished eating my breakfast, and am now on coffee. The moment I finish coffee, I get up and forget where I was, so I complete some other chore...and then it takes ages to return to where I was. But I do try to reply.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66112)
• United States
28 Sep
I agree. Its a give and take site and some dont follow that.
5 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right. It is hard to get to all discussion and I have been super busy these last few days. I try hard, but I don't always make it.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66112)
• United States
29 Sep
@poehere well don't forget mine..
1 person likes this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
@Courtlynn I never forget yours. But the last 4 days have been so overly busy I have only had 10 to 25 min on the site. I am so sorry if I haven't been by in a couple of days. Don't worry I wil try to visit tonight. OK not tonight right now before something else takes me away.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (36907)
28 Sep
Most definitely, there should be give and take.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
28 Sep
Here I give, hope you take..hugs..
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (36907)
28 Sep
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
I do agree. I try to split my time and many times it isn't easy at all. But I do answer back even if I am a day or two late.
1 person likes this
@louievill (18648)
• Philippines
28 Sep
I am with you on your stand, some even post very lengthy posts to read and don't even bother or have the courtesy to even just press "like" to let you know that they have read but have nothing to say, Im no longer gonna bother with these selfish time wasters.
4 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right and I saw one the other day. They had so many people respond to this post and didn't even bother to give 1 comment back. I am tired of this and it isn't fair to us to always lose out because of them.
3 people like this
@louievill (18648)
• Philippines
29 Sep
@poehere count me in your team Ann.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
3 people like this
@kiran8 (15360)
• Mangalore, India
29 Sep
That is exactly what I do now, look at their previous discussion s and then respond. However, most of the older members are interactive but don't start too many discussions..
3 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
29 Sep
Will you believe one thing? I observed earnings zoom if I open five posts and poop in every box. Exiting the post, and searching for a new one, then opening it, and reading through the post to respond ...all are time consuming activities. Here, I read just one post, and smaller posts if responses can be called that, and reply. I maintain friends and and they earn, and so do I. Do I sound logical? Sometimes, I manage to.
3 people like this
@kiran8 (15360)
• Mangalore, India
29 Sep
@vandana7 That does sound logical , ... although I sometimes wish we get paid or what we post like the good old times ..
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
The older members are fantastic and always get back to you. It does take time, but they will always get back to you.
3 people like this
@JustBhem (36849)
• Davao, Philippines
29 Sep
I also observe that is why I work on my own. As for me, I always reply to all the discussion I followed, I visited them every day. And I also reply to all of the comments in my discussion. This is a GIVE and TAKE site. I believe.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right. You have been here for a while and understand this. However, there are other members on here and they have been here for more than a few months and they still don't do this. These are the people I won't interact with anymoer.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (36849)
• Davao, Philippines
29 Sep
@poehere Me too, I really like to have a conversation with anyone here whether it's by comment or by private message.
2 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
@JustBhem People here are so nice and the more you get to know them you will find out how funny they can really be. I have or do joke around with several people on here and we have a lot of good laughs sitting in front of our screen.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (12973)
• Singapore
29 Sep
Normally I respond to those I am familiar with and that means they interact with me. I do respond also for those that are good ones to be ignored. I know some just ignore my posts and comments despite my being open with them - siva
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are a good person and I think it is only fair that everyone should comment back on a response. I beleive eevryone deserves to hear from the author of the post and their views on the topic they wrote about. That is one reason I stopped commenting on some people because they ignore everyone, not just you, but everyone.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (12973)
• Singapore
29 Sep
@poehere Agreed they go against the spirit of what this site is about - siva
3 people like this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
29 Sep
It is not that people ignore you. Your posts don't appear in first two pages...you rarely come up with posts, and so that does happen. If you write more posts, chances of people interacting with you would increase.
3 people like this
@YrNemo (12657)
29 Sep
I have begun to adapt your technique lately. If one has no intention whatsoever to reply to others, then our comments to their discussions perhaps wouldn't be read anyway.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are so right. Our comments are only for their bank and they don't care about anything else. That is why I wrote this and I know for a fact they won't be reading this either. They only write and gather responses so their bank gets fat. Soon the piggy will be skinny and they will have to learn how it works.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (12657)
29 Sep
@poehere I noticed quite a few writers here had walked away after having a few posts.
2 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
@YrNemo That is because they have no idea what the art of communication is all about. They have had their nose stuck in their cell phone for too long and all they know how to do is text. They have no idea how to be social. Suck behind that tiny little screen sue blocks the rest of the world out.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27647)
• Australia
29 Sep
I check people's profile a lot because I'm just curious what they are up to. As for responding to people's discussions, I just do it whenever I have something to say. I've never really put how they interact as the basis for me giving them a response on their discussions, especially if they are new members. And yes, my responses and comments do get ignored a lot, but hey, at least they are out there for whatever little good they do for the community.
3 people like this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
29 Sep
You are right on that one. I put up a response one time to a person who was here for a long time. He ignored everyone all the time. Then another member commented on my response I made. I answered back about how nice it would be to hear from the author and how he didn't care about people at all. He ignored all of them. He did come on after I made my very rude comment to the author and guess what he went back to all of his posts and commented on every single one of them. Guess you need an eye opener once in a while to get the ball rolling.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27647)
• Australia
1 Oct
@poehere Some need gentle nudge, some need rude awakening. Either can work or not work. Everyone has their own ways of doing things.
1 person likes this
@poehere (17700)
• French Polynesia
1 Oct
@sishy7 You are so right on that one. They will do what they want that is for sure.
1 person likes this