When is it finally time to take a step forward?

@chris2050 (1335)
Manila, Philippines
October 1, 2017 12:27am CST
I have a close friend—a strong friend—who is involved in a very toxic, long-term relationship, and she is hanging on for dear life because she wants to be brave and tough it out. Recently, with tears in her eyes, she told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us agree with. And I understand the sentiment. But when holding on to something continuously hurts our health and happiness, we have to look closely at why we're choosing to stay where we are. Life is a balancing act of holding on and letting go, of staying put and moving on. We strive to make the right choices, but how do we know when it is truly time to move forward with our lives?
6 people like this
7 responses
@shubhu3 (14164)
• New Delhi, India
1 Oct
I feel if we are not happy in a relationship and if we realize that it's not working out, we should take a hard step of breaking up and moving on. Extending the relationship will extend the time needed for moving on.
2 people like this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
1 Oct
Some people think, for the sake of the old good time, it's worthy fighting for the relationship
1 person likes this
@shubhu3 (14164)
• New Delhi, India
1 Oct
@chris2050 I agree. Yet everything should be taken into consideration.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (58836)
• India
1 Oct
You put it very well, "life is a balancing act of holding on and letting go..." very well said. If it is toxic ...she must leave. In general, toxic relationships multiply toxicity. How? The toxic partner troubles the non toxic partner. The non toxic partner is asked to ignore somethings, by his or her mind, or the society. In the process, the person "adjusts" developing anger within. The toxic partner feels he or she can get away with that, so magnifies it to get sadistic pleasure, soon the adjusting partner starts feeling that initial abuse was nothing in comparison. Over a period, unwittingly, the adjusting partner would become abusive to somebody else in small or big way, out of irritation and frustration and confusion. So I am of the opinion, either fight back hold your ground and tell the toxic person behave or there will be serious consequences, or walk out and restart your life as fresh page. Both are equally good.
2 people like this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
1 Oct
There is no better way to explain this. Thanks
@toniganzon (44666)
• Philippines
1 Oct
I could never stay in a toxic relationship and I would move on pretty easily. Maybe I'm selfish for putting myself first above all else. I believe that if I don't love myself more then I am not capable of loving another. So I value myself more than other people.
1 person likes this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
1 Oct
You are not selfish. I think you are just realistic. I know someone who usually say: "The Bible says "love your neighbor as yourself", not more than yourself, therefore, I can't love anyone more than I love myself, I will be breaking Biblical principles" Though this statement sound a bit amusing, I totally agree with that. Though I also usually try to understand people who are willing to be tough and fight for their relationships, no matter what (something I can't do though)
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (44666)
• Philippines
2 Oct
@chris2050 Where's love when there's no happiness and just suffering in a relationship? I don't get that at all. People say, I'm unhappy, he's cheating on me, but I love him so can't leave him.
@wongchoiyee (6770)
• Malaysia
1 Oct
When you feel fed up.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (50202)
• Philippines
1 Oct
If we learned not to be a martyr over a relationship.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (28997)
• Philippines
2 Oct
Sometimes the strongest thing one can do is to let go.
@LadyDuck (130865)
• Switzerland
1 Oct
You are so right and what you say is true. Deciding when it's the time to move forward is the most difficult decision to take.