Granny Grumbles

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My grandmother is not the bake cookies for you, pinch your cheeks, and someone you are excited to see on a Sunday morning because she has breakfast for you and is excited to hear about your week. No, she is not even close. The last few weeks I haven't wanted to see her very often because she just keeps hurting me. Let this be known that I am eternally grateful for everything she has done for me. She has helped my mom and me out a lot. But there is only so much car rides and food can do to prevent realizing how much I actually despise her. Let's start out with just last Wednesday. I went over for our normal little visit, it is good to visit, she lives right next door and I made the decision to see her more often... During this visit, I mentioned how I was studying Japanese because I always wanted to learn that language. And the first thing she says to me, "well, why? How is that even useful for you?" I was flabberghasted, does she not know her own granddaughter? I want to work in animation, most of what I write is heavily inspired by Japanese culture, it is good to learn a second language, and damn it, I watch ANIME! So I think it would be very useful for me. I tell her of how useful it would be to me and she replies with, "I think it is a waste if you are not going to use it all the time." A waste..she literally thinks me learning another language is a waste of time. When it is literally a big part of my flipping career if I ever get into ADR writing for anime, which is something I really want to do besides making my own content. Let's roll back to around 3 weeks ago, I am visiting again. I was talking to her about how I was working on a new script and how excited I was about it because I finally got a good storyline down. Then I get into talking about how I am so happy that I am getting things done and how I am so excited about all my goals. Then she comes in with, "Well you have only done that ONE thing, you really haven't done much since that." That one thing is mentioning the short film I co-wrote in 2015. I'm sorry...That ONE thing? She makes it sound so minimal that I wrote a short film that was in contests, that had me listed on IMDB and was on TELEVISION! It was on Shorts HD! My short film was on TV and she is making it seem like it is not a big deal. I'm sorry that I haven't had a blockbuster movie yet, that I don't have a freaking Netflix original series, or whatever! I am 22 years old, I was in college and graduated with a BFA in Creative Writing and was in the top 10% of my class. I went through crippling depression last year after my breakup and miscarriage. So I am so sorry that I have only done that ONE short film. Then today, I wasn't even with her, my mom was. My grandma is supposed to get this claims thing and it is a huge chunk of change, she told me she was going to give some of the money to my mom to fix our awning. My mom told her that she wishes that she would give me the money for my student loans. My grandma replies, "She doesn't need that, she should have been using her money for her loans instead of buying yarn all the time!" I got 3 things to say to that. One, I am buying yarn to build a business. Two, I only get like 20 dollars every few months. And three, Why are you making it seem like I asked for this money? I have never asked her for a freaking dime, nickel, or penny. I'm literally heartbroken. She doesn't believe in me, she doesn't support me. Yes I am different, I am weird, I am odd, I don't have a job because my knees are literally so damaged I would end up in a wheelchair by the time I am 25. I am not a star in her eyes. I am nothing like her precious little grandchildren in Guam. The grandchildren that are winning medals and doing sports. I am not them, so she doesn't like what I am doing. I will never get her approval. I love the woman for all that she has done for me. But do not like her for all she has done to me. I cannot wait until the day I get to say, I told you I could do it. Until then, I am trying my best with the amazing support I do get from my mom and friends. But it is for sure, none of my family supports me, at all.