Oct 10- Verbal Sexual Harassment- Must say NO!
By peachpurple
@peachpurple (13880)
Malaysia
October 10, 2017 12:02am CST
Honestly speaking I didn't know that I was sexually harassed by one of the outstation colleague when I was working in a transportation company back in 1990s. All I know that mom told me how to defend myself if guys or strangers wanted to touch me, that is physical sexual harassment but she never told me about the verbal part.
I was in charged of the clerical department where I have to make daily phone calls to the cargo department to get the authorization code in order to proceed the cargo shipment. His name was Boey. In order for me to get the code from him, I had to answer his sexual questions until he was satisfied. At first, I refused to answer but he threatened that I would not be able to finish my job if I don't give him answer.
Questions related to what is the color of my underwear, bra, etc.... This is Verbal sexual harassment. I should had known that my supervisor knew about Boey desire but she ignored it. I didn't tell her because I was afraid. I should had said NO, are you crazy? Go get a life ! and resign from my job, right?
SO, remember, verbal questions about sex by strangers are considered Verbal sexual harassment, always reject them.
my photo: minion
34 people like this
25 responses
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
10 Oct 17
i still wonder why you did not report the matter to your higher-up
8 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
I was afraid that I might be fired. That was the reason and it was stupid of me too. I should just report and resigned
4 people like this
@chunchunwadaddy (284)
• Nairobi, Kenya
10 Oct 17
I think the answer is in the first line, at that point and time they did not know.
5 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
yeah, should had done that and kick his bum!
2 people like this
@m_audrey6788 (58485)
• Germany
10 Oct 17
Oh my 
Thank you for this awareness and I hope more young people must be careful with those kind of behavior 
Thank you for this awareness and I hope more young people must be careful with those kind of behavior 5 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
you are welcome, I hope more young women will know about this
3 people like this
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
10 Oct 17
Ohh so sorry..we don't understand such things at certain age, it's later on we realize , what actual harassment is..
6 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
That's utterly disgusting. And he was the only one in charge of taking your calls? Sorry you had to go through that experience.
5 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
@peachpurple I can imagine how horrible that experience was for you.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
10 Oct 17
I certainly would have reported that scum bag.
6 people like this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
10 Oct 17
@peachpurple I know that it happened long time ago. My response is actually intended to everyone that may encounter or may experience such abuse in the future. 
2 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
yeah I should but that was in 1990s, already past tense.
2 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
@neildc oh yes, you are right, indeed, anyone who is facing the same problem should report immediately.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
12 Oct 17
@peachpurple yes you can do that also but when you should bend and do work there as coward? be brave, if you change the job do you think the same thing will not be repeated?
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
yes, I should had ignore him and resigned instead. Why should I suffer under his verbal torture?
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
10 Oct 17
it's terrible that your supervisor, who is also female, tolerated his behavior. is it because she thought those are just words and may not touch/harm/hurt you physically? she's wrong. of course, it still affects you, doesn't it?
4 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 17
yes, she knew it. She ignored it and didn't tell me about it because it was none of her business, just another selfish supervisor. Yup it did affected me a lot. Still in my mind for 20 years.
2 people like this
@jobelbojel (34729)
• Philippines
10 Oct 17
I am sorry for what happened. A real guy respect women.
4 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
yes, real gentleman does not do that. Furthermore at that time 1990s, he was married with kids while I was single in my 20s
@lookatdesktop (27129)
• Dallas, Texas
10 Oct 17
You should have kicked him in the groin and told him if he ever talked that way again you would do more than that. Then of course you would be accused of both physical assault and making a verbal threat. In the United States, either act would land you in court and be fined with one or more Misdemeanor violations. Better just to resign from you job.
3 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
I agree with you, I should had resigned from my job, who needs a job with a filthy mind colleague ? Should had kicked his butt to the drain
@resukill22 (25052)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
10 Oct 17
Im sorry for that, that is not a good attitude of a supervisor
5 people like this
@gnatsmom (2303)
•
10 Oct 17
In the 90's there was not a public outcry against this type of behavior. Many women did not report it for fear of losing the job. When you live in a world that requires money to survive, you will endure many things you despise. No woman should ever have to put up with this type of behavior. Personally, I think men who behave like this should be punched in the face (preferable by a woman). But don't ever let anyone belittle you for not reporting and don't beat yourself up. At that time, women had little recourse. Today is a different matter. Today, you stand your ground and fight for yourself and all the women who need help. And for the record, real men do not behave that way. They are obviously trying to compensate for some major inferiority complex.
4 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
you are 100%, women in the 1990s were depending on a job to keep alive. So, verbal or physical abuse are treated as close one eye. Today it is a different matter. I would had Karate or Judo on him if I had a chance.
@joanwanjala (522)
• Mombasa, Kenya
10 Oct 17
Colour of your what??
This is gross, we shouldn't take this lightly
5 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
10 Oct 17
Sorry to hear that and I am glad you are blowing the whistle on such activity and alerting others. 
2 people like this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
I had been keeping this secret for the past 20+ years. Decided to bring it up so that everyone could know
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
If I knew back then, I would had done so. Why my supervisor didn't tell me I could reported that scumb bag?
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325345)
• Rockingham, Australia
11 Oct 17
@peachpurple That's true but there is still a long way to go.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
@JudyEv yup, as long there are people to support, I am sure women are well protected
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 17
with social medias and help available, I think all women are safer now
1 person likes this
@William21001 (2637)
• Havre De Grace, Maryland
11 Oct 17
The problem is if he does not do this to a lot of people or if someone doesnt hear him doing it it is so hard to prove it your world against his. Not saying protect yourself this is wrong but its opening a can of worms that maybe will makes things worse for you in the end
1 person likes this
