He Told Her She Is Getting Too Fat!
By Catherine
@bluesa (15023)
Johannesburg, South Africa
October 26, 2017 7:41am CST
A friend of mine is so upset, her boyfriend told her she is getting too fat and so she better make a plan. I just sat stunned when she told me he had talked to her like that.
I mean, surely there was a kinder way he could have worded it? I don't know what advice to give her. Do I tell her to tell him that he was rude and hurtful?
She said that she just looked at him and he walked away before she could say anything. And so she wants to let his comment slide. That he was probably just in a bad mood.
Do I tell her to leave him and find someone who will love her as she is? I am truly shocked by this.
23 people like this
26 responses
@ilocosboy (45157)
• Philippines
26 Oct 17
Its too early to advise here to let go of their relationship. The boyfriend can say that words because, maybe, they have been together for a long time. Then as you have said the boyfriend might be in bad mood. And if in case its true, maybe its a no offense words of his boyfriend, I mean she might have been getting fat but it doesn't mean he doesn't love her.
4 people like this
@marguicha (215405)
• Chile
26 Oct 17
I guess that she will have to decide what to say to him. I don´t think that you should tell her what to do but you can be there for her saying that she is beautiful no matter how much she weighs.
3 people like this
@marguicha (215405)
• Chile
26 Oct 17
@bluesa But she will know that you are there for her.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
27 Oct 17
I intend to differ with you. If your friend's boy friend told her that she is fat, it cannot be termed as too rude to severe ties with him.
2 people like this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
30 Oct 17
@dpk262006 Yes, if it is not in a pleasant manner, I will tell him to watch his words.
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (58485)
• Germany
26 Oct 17
I`m afraid to give advices on things like this due to, It may not be the right understanding on my part. There are times when the partner is only concerned about the health but not because of being fat 
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Oct 17
He was very rude and there was no reason for him to be so mean to her. However, she is grown and can make her own decisions. She will need you to vent to at times if she stays with him because everyone needs a friend they can do that with-especially when not being treated nicely.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36438)
• Toccoa, Georgia
27 Oct 17
It is very rude what he said. She will have to make the decision to stay or leave.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
26 Oct 17
That is pretty rude of him.
If it's something that bothers him, most certainly he could have worded it better.
And, if it bothers him that greatly, does he really love her? Or does he just love how she looks?
I wonder how he would react if she would tell him that he's looking *insert less than desired appearance here* ?
2 people like this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
27 Oct 17
@FayeHazel , Yes, I wanted to tell her that, but if she excuses his behaviour then she might get upset with me.
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
27 Oct 17
@bluesa Mmm that being said -- I would want to tell her to start looking for a new boyfriend. Ha! Though I understand too, sometimes people don't like that level of directness with their significant others
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13884)
• Malaysia
26 Oct 17
tell her not to say anything yet, ignore him for a week and maybe he will realized his mistake
2 people like this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
27 Oct 17
@peachpurple 
since he behaved like a rude child.
since he behaved like a rude child.1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13884)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 17
@bluesa right, a time out just like a little kid
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
6 Dec 17
I think him saying it and walking away shows he doesn’t want to see how she felt and knew it would upset her. It is mean to say what he did. My boyfriend has put on a lot of weight since we started dating but I don’t make him feel bad about it!
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
27 Oct 17
Ouch! That was an awful thing to say! I would be very concerned, since he said that awful thing and walked away.
I would be very concerned, since he said that awful thing and walked away.1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
28 Oct 17
@bluesa I wonder? If someone you love criticizes one's body if there is not a more serious problem?
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
30 Oct 17
@1hopefulman yes I am wondering that too. I hope she can find the heart to ask him what is going on.
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (6108)
• United Kingdom
28 Oct 17
Too fat implies that he thinks she was fat but is now fatter than he likes.
It's a bit drastic to leave someone over a single comment. There must be more to it than that,
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (6108)
• United Kingdom
28 Oct 17
@bluesa If they are an item, then unless he worships the ground she walks on, she should tell him to take a hike.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
30 Oct 17
@Orson_Kart I couldn't agree more. But that is not my decision to make.
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
28 Oct 17
It was the way it was said @Orson_Kart , there was an intention to hurt in those words. She feels he wanted to belittle her. However, she must decide what to do about that comment.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
27 Oct 17
i think the boyfriend was concerned with the lady's health, and not because the fat may make her heavy.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
29 Oct 17
@bluesa really? oh, if i were the boyfriend, i would say the same thing too, but with discretion of course.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
•
26 Oct 17
I agree , he could have found a better way to do it - maybe a couple of hints like planning on going to the gym together, suggesting they go jogging together etc. But let's face it - he said that she is getting too fat, which gives me the impression that she was not fat when they met and he was attracted to her. I don't know how long they have been together, but his concern shows that he would like them to be together always and he wants her to take control before it gets out of hand. I am sure he is aware that their bodies will change as they grow older but he doesn't want it to start too soon.
2 people like this
