the wickedest witch in the world

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I am trying very hard to think of something positive that my MiL said to Toddler Niece today, something that was off the cuff and not prompted by Toddler Niece's Look Nanna, aren't I pretty? following her pretend hairwash. *thinking* Nope. I can think of nothing. She told her she was naughty. She told her she was stupid. She told her she was a wazook. Did she smile? Maybe once, twice, thrice. Not really any more than that. Being a non-mummy I don't really have experience of the terrible two's. Toddler Niece is stubborn, something she gets from her Nanna. When she doesn't want this or agree with that, she shouts No!!! Nanna shouts back and it ends with Toddler Niece sitting on the floor in a sulk, although this is only on the rare occasions that good old Auntie Poppylicious can't diffuse the situation and stop it from escalating. No tears. No screams. No kicking of feet. Instead, she pulls her wrists and hands. I sit with her, try to stroke her back, be there for her even when she pushes me away. Today this happened twice and each time I gave her my hand and more or less insisted that she do it to me instead of herself. I don't know if this is just a form of tantrum throwing, or if it's her way of coping with all the thoughts whirring away inside her head, or if it could be considered a form of self-harm. She's an intelligent little creature with a fairly extensive vocabulary but she is only two and doesn't know how to verbalize what she's actually feeling. Leaving to get the bus always makes me feel sad. What makes me feel sadder is that I don't know what happens on a Wednesday when Nanna has to cope alone. And she's not coping. She has bad knees, she can't get on the floor to play, and even if she could, she has no interest in developing little minds with imaginative play. She has no patience and they don't go out. I know for a fact that she doesn't talk to Toddler Niece in the same way when Mummy and Daddy are around. I feel helpless. Stuck. My gut is telling me that this is tantamount to emotional abuse, but how do I broach the subject with Mummy and Daddy? I already do the whole, Nanna doesn't actually mean that you're stupid, she means your behaviour, in the hope that Nanna will take note and rephrase in future, and I don't really want to talk to her about it because she is such a mean old hag sometimes. But if you've ever read anything else I've written, you'll know this already. I know that her tantrums with other people could take the same form, but even without that, there is everything else that happens at Nanna's house. Including the mean things she says about Grandma, Grandad and sometimes even Mummy. So, what do I do?? I have taken the brunt of this woman's vitriol before {I must tell you about that one day!} Is it time to do it again? *sigh* Family. Why do we bother? Am I just being over-sensitive?