How candid are you?

Malaysia
November 9, 2017 8:47am CST
I had to do an interesting research today. It was basically about the use of euphemisms, or to put it simply, saying unpleasant things using nicer words. You probably see this often. The use of the term "climate change" instead of "global warming", for instance. "Chemically dependent" instead of "drug addict". Things like that. I guess a similar thing happens in our daily exchanges too. We sometimes try to "craft" negative messages using words that wouldn't offend others. What are your thoughts? Are you a candid person?
21 people like this
25 responses
@responsiveme (14414)
• India
9 Nov
Depends on whom I am talking to
5 people like this
@vandana7 (57493)
• India
9 Nov
That is also true. Past experience or knowing something about the person based on his or her interactions with others sets up our behavior pattern. My cousin dropped by. He was pampered rotten by two brothers, who now don't see eye to eye. I asked him did you visit them. He said yes. Then I asked him did you know what happened between them. He said, whatever may have happened is between them. If they have not told me, they have reasons for it. I can't discount the fact that they cared for me merely because one seems to have behaved badly with respect to the other. I am an outsider, and wish to remain as such, even though I do know something about the problem between them from other sources. So yes, I maintain good relationship with them. I am, after all, a marketing man. Deep thought.
4 people like this
• Malaysia
9 Nov
Good point. Yes I suppose some people take straight talk easier and more openly than others. I would probably try to find the best way to tell things depending on their character and how well I know them.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
9 Nov
@vandana7 Your cousin did the right thing. Sometimes it's better not to meddle in conflicts that don't involve us in the first place. I can imagine how difficult it would be for your cousin if he were to talk to the two brothers about what happened between them.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (8703)
• United States
9 Nov
Being a southerner, I use 9 or 10 words to say the word "no."
4 people like this
• Malaysia
9 Nov
Oh is that a characteristic of the Southeners? I didn't know But I know what you mean, I do find saying "no" difficult at times too!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Nov
@cahaya1983 If someone says, " Do you like this dress I bought?", I'd say, "Well, it's very pretty and looks good on you, but it's probably not the best choice for me, so I guess I'd have to say no." Instead of just saying No to start with!
2 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
@1creekgirl That's understandable. Sometimes it's not what we say but how we say it, right?
1 person likes this
@just4him (91947)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 Nov
Yes, I'm candid. I don't use the politically correct terms. Especially about me. For instance, I'm fat. Not whatever other word might be best suited for fat, even pleasingly plump. I'm not pleasingly plump. It's not pleasing to me. I'm fat. I don't mince words or mix them either.
3 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
I'm pretty straightforward when I talk about myself too, but when it comes to talking to others I'd try to say even the negative things in a way that won't be hurtful but still honest.
2 people like this
@just4him (91947)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 Nov
@cahaya1983 I need to work on that.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (37923)
• Philippines
10 Nov
i am a candid and friendly person, but i am not fully aware of the latest terms being used on social media.
3 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
Apparently many new terms have been coined to substitute certain phrases. They're sometimes used interchangeably too.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (37923)
• Philippines
12 Nov
@cahaya1983 indeed, and some new words are even from our national language, Pilipino
1 person likes this
@Bluedoll (16820)
• Canada
9 Nov
Not sure if this is right or not but I think not so much of being candid or not as what the expression means or better what people think of it. Like he is a garbageman compared to sanitary engineer. One picks up garbage from the back of a truck and the other works in a factory of sorts.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
That reminds me of some people who think "housewife" and "homemaker" sound too "ordinary and unprofessional" and go for "domestic engineer"' instead. Last time I checked, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!
3 people like this
@Bluedoll (16820)
• Canada
10 Nov
@cahaya1983 You made me laugh. I could see myself calling my grandmother that. She would have laughed and wondered what was wrong with me.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
@Bluedoll Your grandmother would probably be happy to be called that, for all you know
2 people like this
@vandana7 (57493)
• India
9 Nov
I am bad and always get into problems. :( At first, I tell me the problem will go away, it is not happening to me...not again...something like that. Then I muster courage, and do something about it, sort of line up my reasons and try to convince the person. When the person is not taking no for no, I step up the accelerator, and if he or she is still brushing aside, breaking down of relationship is inevitable, with me becoming the demon using everything possible to hit at the self esteem of the person. I guess, when I am reasoning, I am not really candid enough.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
9 Nov
I think I'm the opposite. If I see that the person isn't taking my subtle message well, I tend to not escalate the situation further by giving it another attempt. I guess confrontation isn't really my style (although there are times that I wish I have enough courage to do that! ). But then again, there were a few situations where the only choice I had was to be frank , but of course not at the expense of breaking ties.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (57493)
• India
10 Nov
@cahaya1983 Hmmm...nobody likes to break ties. But when people become pig headed, there seems to be little choice. I had this 42 year old asking me to adopt him when he arrived at my place. He was invited over, to help him save some monies on hotel expenses. Instead he presumed I liked him so much. I told him before he left, that I would only be interested in COMPLETE orphans. He brushed it aside, because it did not suit his plans of becoming a free loader. He called me up as if he was concerned about me. I realized that the message did not get through, so I sent a message clearly spelling out my reasons for not considering him to be the right person for adopting. Instead of reading through he replies he has my best interests in heart, and it is in my interests to adopt him, because I will need him to listen to me in old age. The guy who does not read my message, is going to make me miserable, put cotton in both ears, and let me keep talking like soliloquy. lol. In all probability, such a person and his family would become physically abusive. I had to use stern approach, highlighting, he had major differences with parents, and in-laws, so he is simply not accustomed to taking care of elderly. What does he do? Sulk, and come on boards. Then I give it to him. I did not bring it on board. He did.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
@vandana7 A 42 year old wanting to be adopted? That's really unusual. You mentioned his in-laws, so he is married and has a family of his own? That makes it even more absurd. In that case I can understand why you had no choice but to keep your distance from him. The way he kept insisting after getting a "no" from you, that was really pushy.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (59370)
• United States
10 Nov
With most people, I am sensitive in how I choose my words. Not so much with dullards, idiots, or oddballs.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
Well I suppose even the most sensitive and polite person would have exceptions when it comes to that kind of people.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (59370)
• United States
10 Nov
1 person likes this
@shivamani10 (10679)
• Hyderabad, India
9 Nov
A nice usage and a good way of expressing our negative feeling in a polished manner. I like it. What is the use of being candid when it makes you unpleasant? We can express our feeling (negative) in a better way and still can win the appreciation of others. Is it not good? On one occasion somebody was serving the food item for the second time. It was not tasty. I did not like it. I can not say it with candid expression and hurt them. So I said 'I DO NOT WANT TO WASTE THE FOOD Already I had'. How is this?
2 people like this
• Malaysia
9 Nov
I've always believed there is a nice way to say negative things to other people without offending them. Some situations probably require us to be candid to get our point across, but I believe that we should at least try to be polite as much as we can. You did the right thing. I don't think I could ever tell anyone that their cooking is awful.
@shaggin (26826)
• United States
11 Nov
I used to be so blunt and rude. It took me so many years to learn to show tact. One thing I learned to say about ugly babies was “precious” and how some unattractive people can look amazing in photos as they are “photogenic but not necessarily pretty in real life.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
13 Nov
True, photogenic simply shows that someone looks attractive in photos - nice smile, pose, etc. but not necessarily pretty. Seriously though how can babies be ugly??
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26826)
• United States
13 Nov
@cahaya1983 I have seen some very ugly kids.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
13 Nov
@shaggin Super mean
@YrNemo (8548)
13 Nov
From what you just explained, No, I am not a candid type. I try to always sugar my criticisms if I need to give out any. The aim is to fix or to make things better, not to hurt.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
13 Nov
Good point! I think sugarcoating things doesn't mean we're not being honest. It just shows we're being honest in the nicest way possible.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8548)
13 Nov
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (54732)
• Delhi, India
10 Nov
If I need to say anything to my dear or near one, I would prefer to say it in clear terms rather than sugar coat my words.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
Sometimes I tend to be more delicate in my words when it comes to loved ones because I can't bear to offend them.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (54732)
• Delhi, India
14 Nov
@cahaya1983 Same goes here.
1 person likes this
@ilocosboy (33281)
• Philippines
10 Nov
I think I'm not candid one, I think I'm that person using the euphemisms to other people and that includes my wife. Though I believe sometimes we need to be straightforward. Maybe it depends on the person we are communicating with.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
Yes I think it depends on the people and the situation too. But if being straightforward is the only way I can change things for the better than I would take that route.
@ilocosboy (33281)
• Philippines
11 Nov
@peachpurple (10995)
• Malaysia
9 Nov
I am not a straight forward person, I prefer to beat around the bush
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
9 Nov
Is it the same when you talk to people close to you? Family members or best friends?
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (10995)
• Malaysia
10 Nov
@cahaya1983 yes I do that to everyone, including my hubby. I beat around the bush a lot
1 person likes this
@kepweng (6349)
18 Nov
candid is Sometimes approperiate to other person!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
18 Nov
Yes it may depend on the person and situation. If I have to be candid to send the message then I would.
@FayeHazel (11667)
• United States
12 Nov
I "sugar coat" a lot, but I think on myself as honest
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
13 Nov
I understand, being honest doesn't mean we don't have to be sensitive.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (58192)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Nov
When some parents have a fat child they will say they are big boned. Not big bone but fat is the word for it.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
13 Nov
In our culture sometimes we like to use other words to describe fat people too. I think people do that because they think it might offend them.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (6713)
11 Nov
I am pretty candid. Not good with being PC although one must tread lightly in today's world. I think you mean "spin things" when you say craft. I do try hard not to offend and avoid hurtful words unless provoked.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
11 Nov
True. I personally don't think it's right to always be PC for the sake of pleasing certain people - it's annoying to be honest - but if it means keeping people from being offended or insulted then I don't really see it as a bad thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Nov
I'm pretty careful what and how I say it. I generally don't like hurting peoples feelings
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
Me too. Even when I want to criticize I try to be polite about it.
@kiran8 (15236)
• Mangalore, India
10 Nov
I try not to be very candid or hurtful but at times I can come out very strongly on certain issues that either disturb me or am not comfortable with ..I am not sure if that is good.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
I think it certain situations that's the only way to get our point across, especially if it's a matter of principles.
@sol_cee (13596)
• Japan
10 Nov
Liquidity constrained for broke. ;)
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov
Lol that gave me a good laugh. Liquidity constrained definitely sounds better.