Goodbye, November 13th

@Courtlynn (65081)
United States
November 14, 2017 12:34am CST
Just got done watching a few episodes of 'Lincoln Heights'.. which included finishing the third season, so now we only have one more to go. . Also checked my Facebook 'On This Day' stuff.. but now wish I didn't as there were 20 things listed and at least 8 of them were about my daughter. Like, how many days were left til her 18th birthday - from 3 years ago. And now I'm all.. before bed, when I was fine just really tired and could've passed out when I hit my pillow. *sigh* This is the life though of a mother without her child. Guess it's time to play my mp3 and let the music take me away.. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Stay safe. Be kind. Take care.
7 people like this
10 responses
@maezee (32572)
• United States
14 Nov
Sorry to hear of this. That cant be easy to deal with. Hope you get some good sleep
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
Thanks,its not.
@JohnRoberts (60140)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Nov
Drift off well into dreamland.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
I did after awhile
1 person likes this
@just4him (120557)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Nov
What happened to your daughter? If it's non of my business, you can tell me that, I won't be offended.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
Honestly, it's noones business - but I have talked about it here before. Her "father" abused her when she was 3months old. But I didnt know that until dcf took her and he was arrested, as he told me she get redmarks on her face from sleeping on her binkie. Which everyone we knew said can happen and did with their kids. But dcf didnt think it could and her dr they made me take her to couldnt say that the binkie could or couldnt, so they just took her. And then the next day he admitted to the cops that he had squeezed her cheeks and elbowed her in the face a few times. But i had to go to court on neglect charges, because they thought i knew what he did, but i didnt and i was about to beat him at the police station when i found out. But that was found tgat i had no idea and case was dropped. Then i did all my parenting classes, my therapy, my phsyc evaluation, and even the anger management classes i wasnt originally supposed to do but had it added to my list because HE had to do them and didnt like that i didn't. Plus eent to every bisit i had with her for the 1y 3m's.. But i still didnt get her back because the courts didnt put him in jail before (or after) the custody trial. So her lawyer didnt feel it was safe for her to come back home, with him still on the streets. Even though his lawyer, mine, the dcf worker and the judge all wanted her back with me.
2 people like this
@just4him (120557)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Nov
@Courtlynn I am so sorry that happened to your little girl. I know what it's like to have dcf on your doorstep making accusations. They did me too, though I never lost my kids. However, my son did lose his little girl due to his and his x girlfriend's stupidity. They both smoked weed. He hasn't seen her since she was 4 years old, and now she's been adopted out of the family, and he won't be able to see her until she's 18 at the earliest. He loves her more than anything. She's 14 now.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
@just4him thanks.. i blame myself everyday, because i trusted him with her and that the binkie thing was what happened as why would i think the father would abuse my kid..? But now i know better and it makes me not want more kids, even with my bf of 7.5 years. I have the anxiety and fear of "its going to happen again, I'm going to lose another kid".. ya know..? He lost her over weed? That's weird, most wouldnt have their kids if they could lose them over weed? Though lots who lose their kids, shouldnt and lots who havent, should. And now that I've wrongly lost my child, I believe that even more. But sorry he lost her.. least hes close to her turning 18. Im only half way there.. BUT she can come to find me before shes 18, if she knows about me and wants to. Which im hoping is the case but just have to wait it all out. Also.. he abused me, and was charged with it while on pretrial probation for the abuse on my daughter, so he shouldve been thrown in jail for violating his probation, but wasnt. All he got for both was more probation and fees to pay. and now he has 2 or 3 kids with my half sister. !
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (10863)
• United States
14 Nov
Ok, now I am confused. I did not know you had a daughter. Sorry that you are reminded of something that is stressing you.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
Yup.. ive written about her alot here.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (10863)
• United States
16 Nov
@Courtlynn How old are you? I keep thinking you are a teenager yourself. I will have to look through your older history.
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
16 Nov
@Shellyann36 definitely not a teen. 25.
• United States
14 Nov
I have encountered posts in my On This Day feed that trouble me as well. I sometimes delete the post. Others I read the comments that people left. When I find comments that my mother made, it makes me smile, but also sad at the same time. They were made at a time when she had her mind together and the Alzheimer's wasn't twisting her thoughts. I send big hugs to you lady.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
If they weren't about or to my daughter, i would delete them. But want her to see that i never stopped loving or missing her
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov
@Courtlynn that is a good idea.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
1 person likes this
@marlina (74941)
• Canada
14 Nov
Hope that you had a great sleep.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
Not great but good i guess
@sjvg1976 (18360)
• Delhi, India
14 Nov
Good night and have sweet dreams.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (12865)
• Malaysia
14 Nov
I didn't know you had a daughter, no more contact? Anyway, have a nice sleep and don't think too much
@Courtlynn (65081)
• United States
14 Nov
Nope, cant.
@prashu228 (25797)
• India
14 Nov
Hope you had a nice sleep
@cherriefic (4708)
• Baguio, Philippines
14 Nov
I hope you're feeling better now.