What Has Happened to That Kid?

@YrNemo (8553)
November 20, 2017 7:15pm CST
Three or four decades ago, I happened to see an article about how parents cope with a surprise baby. There was this case that shocked me a bit. This family, mother and father in their early 40s, two teenage children. A perfect family with perfect plans for the teens' future and the parents' coming holiday, retirement etc. When the couple found out that the wife got pregnant again, unplanned, they discussed with each other and decided to give the child (a boy) away for adoption. The mother said something similar to this, 'We have discussed and agreed with each other that we don't want to disrupt our life and our future. We don't want an abortion either. Somewhere out there, plenty of couples are struggling to have a child, and this child will make someone happy! Our children were explained and are quite happy with our decision.' --- That boy must have been in his/her 30s now. I wonder how life has been treating him. Personally, would you, could you give your baby away calmly like that? If you were that boy/man, what would you think of your biological parents?
19 people like this
24 responses
@JudyEv (100986)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Nov
That does seem a rather unusual decision to make but I guess it is their call.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
You are right too. Just a bit too ruthless.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (100986)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Nov
@YrNemo Somtimes it's the unexpected child that brings great joy to a family.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
@JudyEv A registered nurse told me of her case, a surprise baby. The family was shocked at first, but later was so happy to welcome her. Her older siblings, a brother and a sister, loved her very much. Her oldest brother, a brilliant man, suddenly got brain tumor and passed away when he just turned 40 or something similar (childless). Her parents cried lots, but said, 'now I know why God sent us the 3rd child. At least when we go, your older sister won't be left alone.'
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (121871)
• Switzerland
21 Nov
I could never take a decision like this. If you have no means to support your child, I could understand. But to dispose of a child like he was an "unwanted gift" is horrible and I do not think it's better than an abortion. May be the kid ended in a horrible family where he was abused, I could not stand this idea.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
When people want to justify their selfish decision, guess there are plenty of ways to excuse. This couple was quite well off and didn't want extra work. I keep wondering whether that decision would affect their teens somehow.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (121871)
• Switzerland
21 Nov
@YrNemo I am sure that the other children will be affected in some way.
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@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
@LadyDuck I sincerely hope that they would go search for their little brother, and bond with him somehow.
2 people like this
@ilocosboy (33280)
• Philippines
21 Nov
I would never do just because of my personal happiness. I have 5 children and got one adopted. Life is hard but im okay.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
I admire parents like you and your wife. I don't know why that mother could give her surprise baby away like giving away an unwanted kitten or puppy like that. I have a suspicion that she convinced the whole family and perhaps because she controlled them all, they had no choice but agreed with her.
2 people like this
@ilocosboy (33280)
• Philippines
21 Nov
That's really sad sometimes this is happening.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (91036)
• Marion, Kansas
22 Nov
I could not do it, but I can respect the fact they did not resort to abortion. I am hoping the third child gave joy to someone else. I also could not be a surrogate for someone else.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8553)
22 Nov
I read of surrogate cases. Don't know how some ladies could do it. It would break my heart parting with my baby, (well, if the embryo was in my tummy that long, it must be mine, finder keeper !)
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (14018)
• Philippines
21 Nov
This is a sad story for me. Here in the Philippines no one would do that they will keep the baby because it's the joy of the family. Every child is a blessing they should not be seen as a burden
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
Some modern people tend to think like a robot!
1 person likes this
@nangayo (2307)
• Nairobi, Kenya
21 Nov
The bond between a mother and a child that comes when you carry the child for 9 months i wouldn't give away my child. if she carried the baby for 9 months where did this bond go.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
From what I read, the journalist did ask her that question, and she said she had decided to not bond to the embryo in any way, to avoid attachment later. Interesting attitude don't you think?
1 person likes this
@nangayo (2307)
• Nairobi, Kenya
22 Nov
@YrNemo I thought bonding is automatic. So she means she had to hate the baby even before it was born yet it was in her body. Very interesting indeed.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
22 Nov
@nangayo The lady was determined to give away that baby, and determined to not feel a thing for IT. Sad isn't it!
1 person likes this
@Ithink (6887)
• United States
21 Nov
I could never do that, it is in my opinion totally wrong. You don't give up a child for your personal happiness.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
That kid was considered by his biological parents not different to an unwanted kitten or a puppy, right? (They were quite well off too!)
1 person likes this
@Ithink (6887)
• United States
21 Nov
@YrNemo Yes you are right and it is disgusting! You don't just give a child up like that.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (11833)
• Germany
22 Nov
OMG! They seem heartless to me. I wonder what happened to that given baby now.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
23 Nov
must be in his 30s by now. Let hope his siblings look for him and keep an eye on him.
1 person likes this
@paigea (21209)
• Canada
21 Nov
I could not do that. I hope he is having a great life.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
22 Nov
With a mother like that, perhaps he is better with someone else? Then again, we don't know! Let hope his older siblings have traced him, and kept an eye on him.
1 person likes this
@yanzalong (8807)
• Indonesia
21 Nov
I wouldn't give the baby away. Never in my life will I do such a thing.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
I do hope that mother would feel regret at times.
21 Nov
Maybe the baby wasn't her husband's and he knew. It does seem a very selfish thing to do. Hopefully he had a happy childhood with a family who showered him with love.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
That is an angle which I haven't thought of! Considering that there are plenty of well off couples who like to be swingers, that could be the case.
@sjvg1976 (14600)
• Delhi, India
21 Nov
I would have not considered them my parents as what sort of parents they were .
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
That thought came to me often. Strange parents.
• Philippines
21 Nov
Idiot parents, it's still your child. I agree with @shivamani10 it's definitely heart less of them to do so.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
Modern thinking people are not always the best, right? (I guess they have all looked back, (the siblings, the parents), and amazed at times at that decision.)
@ridingbet (37922)
• Philippines
21 Nov
i will still look for my biological parents, if i am that kid. i should still thank them for allowing me to exist in this world.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
A good reason enough I guess.
1 person likes this
@shivamani10 (10703)
• Hyderabad, India
21 Nov
This is totally heartless.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
Exactly what I thought at the time. I still think of that case every now and then, wondering about each member of that family.
• China
21 Nov
Hmmm, I will not give my baby away calmly. No matter what, he is your baby.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
Agree with you completely there. (I thought about that story on and off since then.)
@sol_cee (13597)
• Japan
21 Nov
Heartless.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
I thought so too, still think of that case every now and then, thinking about the kid, the siblings growing up, being parents themselves, the too rational thinking couple!
@Hatley (159442)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Nov
tyat is the most cold blooded tyingI ave never nread O coild never give away my own child ever
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
New generation and modern thinking! (The parents of that kid, I wonder, if they would ever regret their decision! They must be in their 70s or 80s now.)
@marguicha (81776)
• Chile
21 Nov
I think those people are heartless. Besides, 30 years ago, there were lots of devises you could use not to get pregnant. And I would not respect so much such parents after their rational thinking. Where is the heart?
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
Perhaps they thought they were rational in their way of thinking. I kept thinking of that kid, he was like a parcel, got passed around! Sad!
@jstory07 (58245)
• Roseburg, Oregon
21 Nov
I have a worse story than that . I will do a discussion on it. I would never give away my baby.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
21 Nov
I can't wait to read that discussion of yours. The above story puzzled me greatly. They believed they were right in doing so. It is so odd.