The Funeral of an Old Friend

@kobesbuddy (19543)
East Tawas, Michigan
November 21, 2017 9:11am CST
I'd like everyone to know, funerals are my least favorite of family gatherings. And for me, it was even worse because I'm no longer a member of their family. Instead, I'm an e-wife who failed this man miserably. I tried everything in my human power to help Bruce but nothing worked, thus, he died at the young age of 65 years old. Do you realize how badly this makes me feel? He needed help in the worst way and for ten years I tried to do the right thing, but always fell short. I wanted to speak with Bruce privately before he died, to apologize for this. Instead, he passed away on Wednesday November 15th, with his wife Gwen and all four children at his side. This made leaving earth a rewarding experience, Bruce was no longer afraid to die!
25 people like this
22 responses
@1creekgirl (8772)
• United States
21 Nov
I'm sorry to hear this. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, though.
8 people like this
• United States
21 Nov
@kobesbuddy I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that.
5 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
@1creekgirl Yes, it's an addiction that very few know how to deal with.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (122389)
• Switzerland
21 Nov
I am so sorry and I know how you feel. My mother is going, I know she will not be among us for long now. I feel so bad, I will miss her.
7 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
When my mother passed away, a part of me went with her:)
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (122389)
• Switzerland
21 Nov
@kobesbuddy Life will never be the same without her.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (122389)
• Switzerland
21 Nov
@kobesbuddy My Mom has been a rock until two days ago. She still lived alone at the age of 96.
4 people like this
@sharon6345 (101978)
• United States
21 Nov
I hope you feel better soon. I can only think you did your best.
5 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
Thank you Sharon, I never stopped loving Bruce for one single minute!:(
2 people like this
21 Nov
Oh, I hope you fell better as soon as possible.
4 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
Thank you, we will definitely miss him, in the years to come.
2 people like this
21 Nov
@kobesbuddy But he'll be alive in your heart.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
@TheInvisibleMan Yes, because my love for Bruce, will always remain.
3 people like this
@Ithink (6793)
• United States
22 Nov
Replying to you for the short time I have been here, I know you did your best and he did too. You need to realize you can not fix someone, it is in their hands. He went with his loved ones around him, in that he was lucky.
4 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
Yes, his kids didn't speak with him, for a while. Now, they were all associating and their relationships were mended.
3 people like this
@Ganma7 (2074)
26 Nov
@kobesbuddy thank god for that
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
26 Nov
@Ganma7 Our daughter had broken ties with her dad, about a year ago. Before he passed away, Mari Lyn spent 21 hours in his room, taking care of Bruce and displaying all kinds of love:)
@amadeo (48129)
• United States
21 Nov
so sorry to hear of the bad news there.Very sad when we lose someone.
4 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
He was in a bondage, which eventually took his life.
2 people like this
@amadeo (48129)
• United States
21 Nov
@kobesbuddy wow that is tough there.I hear you
3 people like this
@amadeo (48129)
• United States
22 Nov
@kobesbuddy that it too bad.Hate the stuff.It is a good thing for me
2 people like this
@much2say (35425)
• United States
21 Nov
I'm so sorry for your loss. You tried, you really did . . . don't feel bad when you did all you could.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
I know our marriage could have worked, without that terrible disease.
3 people like this
@much2say (35425)
• United States
22 Nov
@kobesbuddy It's not easy with addictions. One can only do so much to help, the rest is up to the person needing help - and even that is not as simple as that.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
@much2say You are absolutely correct, any final decision is up to the addict.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (91168)
• Marion, Kansas
22 Nov
You did what you could, but ultimately it was still his responsibility to change, not yours to change him.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
That's the frustrating part about it. We'd love to be able to turn them around, but it's impossible. @GardenGerty
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (21654)
• United States
21 Nov
I'm so sorry to hear this. May you feel peace.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
Thank you, Marie. It just seems like someone should have been able to help him.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (34808)
• Greencastle, Indiana
22 Nov
wow that is an awful feeling, I'm so sorry your going through that I know how that can feel, just know we feel your pain.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
Thanks, we were good friends, in spite of our divorce years back. @sugartoes
3 people like this
@sugartoes (34808)
• Greencastle, Indiana
23 Nov
@kobesbuddy I had some ex's like that but I lost contact with them so I don't know if they're still alive or not.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
@sugartoes Some ex's aren't worth the time to find out.
3 people like this
@m_audrey6788 (11509)
• Germany
21 Nov
For me you`re a good mom to your kids and they surely knows that you did your best to save the marriage but a good results takes two to work out I hope you feel better soon and enjoy your life to the fullest
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
I'm remarried now, so it's all water under the bridge of life. My children and I are very close, but we could have been a complete family, without that addiction.
2 people like this
• Germany
22 Nov
@kobesbuddy Oh I`m glad to know that my dear friend
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
@m_audrey6788 God chose a different avenue, for my life.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (13873)
• Fairfield, Texas
21 Nov
You should not feel bad at all @kobesbuddy because you did 'try' to help him for a long time.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
21 Nov
I guess I feel guilty, because nothing ever worked:(
2 people like this
@nanette64 (13873)
• Fairfield, Texas
22 Nov
@kobesbuddy Some things just never do.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
@nanette64 Yes, but I bent over backwards, to do what seemed right.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (41103)
• Philippines
22 Nov
I'm so sorry you didn't get to talk to him for the last time. But I always believe everything has a reason.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
Yes, you are absolutely correct about this. @toniganzon
3 people like this
@Ganma7 (2074)
26 Nov
I do too
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
26 Nov
@Ganma7 There was something I needed to say to Bruce, but didn't get a chance:(
@Courtlynn (51085)
• United States
21 Nov
Sorry you feell so bad.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
We remained good friends, for fifty years. I met Bruce when he was 15 years old:(
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (51085)
• United States
22 Nov
@kobesbuddy thats definitely a long time
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
@Courtlynn He had a personality, that very few people understood. I learned to deal with it and so did Gwen, his second wife.
3 people like this
@Ganma7 (2074)
26 Nov
I am so sorry to hear this and very sad you are blaming yourself. I am sure you tried very hard to help. A person must want the help and be receptive to it. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink it my Nana use to say. Feel better. Hugs from CT
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
26 Nov
Yes, Gwen tried to get Bruce on track, also. She finally just let him do, whatever he liked doing.
@fly802 (1246)
22 Nov
Sorry to hear this.May God keep his soul in peace and rest.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
Bruce did find the Lord, at one time during his life. @fly802
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (34374)
• United States
22 Nov
You didn't fail him. He made choices that were out of your control. Don't beat yourself up about it please.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
Thanks, it seems like we should be able to turn them around, but it's not possible. @snowy22315
1 person likes this
@allknowing (55810)
• India
22 Nov
You had a special and unique kind of relationship and that will help you relive memories.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
23 Nov
@allknowing Yes, we had lots of good memories, even after we divorced. Watching our kids grow up, was very special.
3 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (7654)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
22 Nov
Losing a loved one is tough. But if your treated your deceased loved one with love and kindness, the pain is softened.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
We were both good to each other. It just seems like someone could have helped him, with that addiction:(
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (5066)
• United States
21 Nov
sorry for loss.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (19543)
• East Tawas, Michigan
22 Nov
It's very hard on my kids, but they're doing better today.
2 people like this