Do Children Confide in their Grandparents More than to their Parents?
November 23, 2017 11:41pm CST
Base on my personal experience of having raise all my grandchildren at some period of their lives I would say "Yes". Matters that they might hesitate to bring up with their parents are discuss openly with me. I usually end up as the buffer cushioning the repercussion of their "wrongdoings" which I prefer to call their "misadventure". Par for the course of growing up into adulthood. The above sentences implies that I spoil them which I will be the first to admit. One grandson (Joshua) was recently called into the disciplinarian office for (unintentionally) breaking the nose of a fellow classmate during a fistfight. Joshua in return got a black eye. But it wasn't his parents but I who met with the other pupil's parents to settle the matter amicably. OMG! Have I contributed to their juvenile delinquency? Before someone start to express disapproval for my method of parenting, I would like to mention that my grandson is a consistent honor student, was a member of the drum and lyre band during his elementary school days but now shifted into athletics in high school and presently class president when this incident occur. I only mention this incident as an example of my impression that children would prefer to approach their grandparents when in trouble and need help rather than breaking the bad news to their parents. I would like to hear other dissenting opinions. Photo image: Wikimedia Commons
16 people like this
I have no experience as I had no children. When I was young the person to whom I went when I was in trouble was my father, or his mother (who lived with us). Mom had a bad temper and she did not listen. Dad was a lot more similar to me.
There are many similarities between an Italian family and a Filipino family. It's not uncommon for us to have relatives living together. Your in-laws, aunts or uncles, a niece or nephew all part of an extended family. Obviously mother-in-laws jokes are not appreciated. Maybe her mother-in-law was the reason for your mom's bad temper? Do you recall your relationship with your paternal grandmother?
Their was a time in my life when I was like Joshua, for a time I lived with my Grandparents, not only my grand parents but 3 old maid aunts who lived with them, it was one of the finest times of my life, I had so many people I trusted and could confide to, and serve as buffer to my parents. I was their pet and I felt like a Prince,, I got almost everthing I wanted. I can't blame my parents, they were so busy with their business to give all 3 of us siblings the best education they could afford, so better there than to leave us in the care of maids.
@josie_ my brother, the youngest was with my parents most of the time, we had house helps whenever they were away but at times he also stayed in my grandparent's house with me. My elder sister lived in a dorm when she was studying in U.P. So it was me who was in our grandparent's house most of the time, I felt at home there since my aunt an elder sister of my mother helped raise me up so she was more than a second mother to me.
• Peoria, Arizona
Grandparents are the ones that treat the grandchildren as forever kids. The grandparents never ground the kids, they hardly say no, so they go towards the grandparents. I never really gravitated more towards any of my grandparents. I didn't see most of them because they live far away and then I was never really close with my grandma. But, every situation is different.
As class president it was part of his responsibility to keep the class from being overly boisterous while the teacher wasn't in the classroom. The classmate he got into a fistfight was surreptitiously throwing and hitting the back and head of female classmates with crumpled paper missiles. Harsh words between my grandson and the wiseguy raise emotions that eventually turn into a physical altercation.
I was in Manila, when my daughter in grade 5 then, was bullied by the mother of her classmate whom she nomiated to be the class president, since she know she wants to. But that was not accepted well when my daughter came out to be voted most. So, she told the mother and the mother did that to my daughter. So, it was my mother-in-law who went to the school principal and complained about the bullying of that mother. From then on, the mother didn't ever went near our daughter. I just came to know about it when I came home from Manila. Good thing, my mother-in-law is a fierce woman.
It is wonderful to have a mother-in-law who we can get along with. When my mother-in-law was still alive I used to tease her saying that "I only married her son because of her". I miss her very much. The mother of your daughter's classmate is teaching false values to her children. Winning isn't everything. One should learn to accept losing in a competition graciously.
@josie_ Yes, she is a kind and protective mother-in-law. It's sad though that she is having mild dementia now. That mother indeed doesn't know the proper protocol for dealing with things like this. Good thing the principal intervened fairly.
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
I think that's a good statement. I know as a kid, I felt it was easier to talk to my grandparents, versus my parents. Though I know my kids felt the same about my parents as I did, and would rather tell me what happened, or keep it to themselves and tell me as an adult what went on in their childhood that I knew nothing about, and am glad I didn't at the time, in some cases. Those are the incidents you can laugh about now.
I think children will confide to their grandparents, because grandparents pamper them more than parents. If they confide more to parents,they will be scolded which children don't like. Children are more open to their grandparents to express their thoughts than their parents.