My grandfather was buried today

@shaggin (26697)
United States
November 25, 2017 12:31pm CST
At 11 am I went to my grandfathers funeral service. He was creamated but the ground was dug up behind his parents grave and the box holding his ashes will be set in the ground there and a plaque will be put on the back of his parents grave. It was a nice little service and since he was in the military a few veterans were there holding flags and two shot out three rounds of shells. My father was given one of the shells and I assume his brothers as well. We are not close to my fathers side of the family and I barely knew my grandfather what hurt me was during the only speech that was spoken what my cousin said... or didn’t say rather. She said she saw my grandfathers love of history and learning in her father, his hard workingness in my uncle, and his go get em attitude in my aunt. Absolutely NO mention of my father, her uncle! I felt the hurt and the slap in the face that had to of been for my father to hear. It is a two way street and I don’t really know what went on in the family but if my father was not close to his dad his dad was not close to him either! I never even received a birthday card from my grandfather in my life! So now I have a heavy heart wishing I could take away this sadness of my fathers. He is a good man and was a darned hard worker until a few strokes left him unable to work. He’s just the black sheep of his family as I am in mine.
17 people like this
20 responses
@andriaperry (32926)
• Anniston, Alabama
25 Nov
Aw, I am sorry for your loss and for your father too. I am sure things will work out. Head high, you are better than to let a few words put you down, from someone who does not matter anyways.
4 people like this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
I know I need to keep reminding myself that we are kinder then that and obviously raised better to know it is rude her leaving him out of the speech. He visited his father and bathed him and bandaged him up recently when he fell. They weren't very close but they didn't hate each other. It's a two way street so it's not just my father's fault they weren't close.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (50431)
• United States
25 Nov
Again, I am so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry your father was left out of the speech. That's a real shame.
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (50431)
• United States
27 Nov
@shaggin oh my god. They turn color from drinking!?
2 people like this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
@Courtlynn I’ll have to look it up and show you a link. My guess is his liver is failing from it.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (50431)
• United States
27 Nov
@shaggin oh please no! Lol. Can only imagine how gross that looks. You would think it would be failing
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (70097)
• Canada
25 Nov
So sorry she choose to hurt your father on a day that was already difficult for him.
3 people like this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
Yes I looked at my poor father who just had a sweet smile on his face while he was trying not to cry. It hurt me to know how that had to have made him felt. My father never smoked and quit drinking at a very young age yet has had strokes that left him unable to work. Her father was the family favorite and drinks like a horse and is in perfect health. Never seems right those who take care of their bodies suffer and those who abuse their bodies don’t.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (70097)
• Canada
27 Nov
@shaggin that is so unfair but yes it seems to happen that way. Your poor dad he had been through a lot.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (33027)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Nov
@shaggin that is so true. it burns me to see how many cousins I have that are older and yet still smoke and party . while I usually stayed at home with my kids never drank but rarely and I gave up smoking yet they are older and still get around wonderfully. hope you hugged your father a lot and told him it was their loss not to get to know him better
2 people like this
@amadeo (47715)
• United States
25 Nov
so sorry for the loss there.I was the black sheep of my family.Believe me.
2 people like this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
I do not mind it much as I like how I am more then the way they are so maybe being the black sheep is a good thing.
2 people like this
@amadeo (47715)
• United States
27 Nov
@shaggin same here.I am the black sheep or was .
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (33027)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Nov
@shaggin yes who would want to be like such cold mean people as they are. I would just give them this kind of smile next time I saw any of them and turn and walk away.
1 person likes this
@Madshadi (4585)
• Brussels, Belgium
25 Nov
Sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.
2 people like this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
Thank you!
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (12508)
29 Nov
@shaggin You are welcome.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (12508)
26 Nov
I am sorry about the rift in the family. My father did not talk to his first son for a long long time. Families have so many secrets and kids suffer.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
My father and grandfather didn’t dislike each other but they just weren’t close. My father drove from the top of Pennsylvania down to Florida and stayed with his father for a week a few years ago. His father just didn’t seem like an affectionate person.
@Hannihar (12508)
27 Nov
@shaggin My father was not warm either. In my family they did not talk about things so I never really knew what his life was like growing up. He was born in Bessarabia by Russia.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
@Hannihar My family doesn’t talk about my fathers life growing up either. I never really thought to ask but eventually I should learn more before something happens to my father and then I will never know.
@Tina30219 (26576)
• Onaway, Michigan
25 Nov
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I am so sorry your dad was not mentioned in the speech as well.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
I was so sad about it I texted my dad when I got him and him how offended I was for him and how sorry I was. I asked my bf if he could come over as I needed a hug. He cooked me dinner and spent the night with me. It was a big help!
@Tina30219 (26576)
• Onaway, Michigan
27 Nov
@shaggin Glad to hear it was a help to have your boyfriend there. New guy or same guy from before. I know that would offend me as well I am so sorry they did this to your dad
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
@Tina30219 Same guy as before. He asked me Friday if I wanted to be his girlfriend again then took me out to dinner.
@DianneN (59078)
• United States
27 Nov
I'm so sorry, especially for your father. I think you are better off ignoring that senseless cousin of yours. All families have relatives like that.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
28 Nov
She seems to have been raised with terrible manners to act the way she did. You would think a psychologist would know how her words could hurt my father! She was always the sweet one out of my three cousins but looks like that has changed.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (59078)
• United States
1 Dec
@shaggin I think her behavior is horrendous and would remember that for the rest of my life. They say that you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
1 Dec
@DianneN anytime I think of her I will think of the look on my fathers face and it will hurt. That saying is correct.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (33027)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Nov
that is so sad. family should care about each other and if forgiveness needs done they should have done so. that was pretty nasty of your cousin not to mention all the siblings. the one good thing is you have each other and obviously they will never know the joy of knowing 2 good people in their family. too bad for them.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
30 Nov
I was in the same grade in school as this girl. She was always the sweet one of the three sisters but looks like that’s changed and she’s as stuck up as they are. I was not friends with her in school as she was in the popular crowd and I was not even close to that. As kids we got along at parties and had fun but their mother would never let us be around each other outside of parties.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (33027)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Dec
@shaggin sounds like the mother is what screwed them up to be such B's . if you know what I mean. be glad and proud your parents raised you better and tell your dad you proud of that. like I said if you see them any more give them an evil smirk , then walk away with your head held high
1 person likes this
@bluesa (12683)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
26 Nov
I am so sorry. I can relate though, this constantly happens to my Mom. Her brothers have always been close and she the outsider. I don't know how many times they have left her out of a speech about their family. I always end up saying sorry to her and don't look forward to family get togethers. At least you know your Dad is a good man, and it is their loss they don't realise it.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
It is wrong your mother has had to go through that it is just so hurtful. This cousin that wrote the speech is a psychologist you would think she would be kinder!
1 person likes this
@bluesa (12683)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
27 Nov
@shaggin , it is wrong, you and your Dad shouldn't have had to be put through that, your cousin should have known better.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (27400)
• Philippines
26 Nov
So sorry for your loss and so sorry that you had to see your father go through this. Wish it would have been different. Hurtful words were uttered but you are above that.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
It had to be so hard for him even if he and his father were not very close so hearing how he was excluded from this speech had to have made it all the more painful!
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (27400)
• Philippines
27 Nov
@shaggin true. It isn't something that one should go through.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (100471)
• Bunbury, Australia
25 Nov
That is very cruel. And there is rarely a way of putting the situation 'right'.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
Maybe someday she will realize how rude she was and will apologize to him but I doubt it.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (100471)
• Bunbury, Australia
27 Nov
@shaggin I wouldn't be holding my breath either.
2 people like this
@ebanreb (4746)
• Philippines
30 Nov
Condolence my friend. Eternal rest grant unto thee.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
1 Dec
Thank you!
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (11533)
• United States
26 Nov
I'm so sorry for both the division and the loss
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
Thank you!
1 person likes this
@nomus24g (16415)
• India
25 Nov
sorry to hear that...may his soul RIP
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
26 Nov
Thank you!
@RasmaSandra (13379)
• Riga, Latvia
25 Nov
Sorry for your loss. May God bless and keep your grandfather safe.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
26 Nov
Thank you very much!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Nov
So sorry for the loss of your grandfather even if he wasn't much a part of your life.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
Thank you. I shed no tears for him I shed a few tears for my father who has to feel the loss of someone he did know.
@mandala100 (25354)
• Hong Kong
25 Nov
@shaggin Our thoughts and prayers for your grandfather my friend.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
26 Nov
Thank you!
@Corbin5 (81315)
• United States
25 Nov
It is a bit of a mystery why some parents and children just break ties. My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your grandfather.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
27 Nov
I learned after his stroke that his mother and father divorced when he was 12. I really know so little of the situation though but I feel him being left out of the speech was wrong.
1 person likes this
• Ponce De Leon, Florida
25 Nov
Sorry for your lost.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
26 Nov
Thank you!