CHOOSING FRIENDS.

image from pixabay.
@Kandae11 (27109)
December 2, 2017 2:37pm CST
You cannot choose your family , but you can choose your friends - so what kind of friends do you choose? Like in the trio pictured above , some choose friends who basically look and dress the same way as they do, while others choose a mix of different types and personalties. You would also find that some women - and men too - prefer to hang out with friends who are much less attractive than they are. And you can guess why. Some would prefer - if they could - to be friends with the rich and famous, the popular or those who are rapidly moving up the ladder of success. And of course - there is nothing wrong with having friends in high places. My main criteria for a friend would be someone who is kind, true , listens and has a great sense of humor. What's yours?
47 people like this
54 responses
@Corbin5 (81872)
• United States
2 Dec
A friend is a friend of mine if I always can be myself when with that friend.
15 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
Someone you feel comfortable with at all times.
9 people like this
@Corbin5 (81872)
• United States
3 Dec
@Kandae11 Yes, my friends understand I am an introvert and understand when I do not attend events with a lot of people around. They do not mind if I say I would prefer not to go.
4 people like this
@nanette64 (13843)
• Fairfield, Texas
3 Dec
Perfect @Corbin5 .
1 person likes this
@amadeo (48067)
• United States
2 Dec
Not sure.I guess someone I can trust.
14 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
Trust is important.
5 people like this
@amadeo (48067)
• United States
2 Dec
4 people like this
@MALUSE (32928)
• Denmark
2 Dec
I've never *chosen* friends. Nothing of what you've mentioned here applies to me. People have crossed my way, sometimes in bizarre situations. Acquaintances have turned into friends. Some have stayed friends, others have moved out of my circle or I out of theirs.
8 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
Not everyone's situation is the same. Choices can play a part when we choose to remain friends with someone for one reason or the other, or when we decide the time has come to break free.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (52881)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 Dec
Have similar interests played a role for you? Most of the people I talk to are fellow teachers, music-lovers, or softball players. Also fellow stereo geeks.
4 people like this
@MALUSE (32928)
• Denmark
3 Dec
@TheHorse Are you asking me? If so, the answer is yes. The job and hobbies usually bring people together.Exceptions prove the rule, of course.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (33249)
• Anniston, Alabama
2 Dec
You are what you hang out with, that is how I was raised and its true. I prefer friends, male and female, that are funny and go getters, not lazy bums waiting for others to do everything.
7 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
You are perfectly right - you can be judged by the kind of friends you hang out with. I too cannot abide the lazy
4 people like this
@marlina (62386)
• Canada
3 Dec
@andriaperry, Do NOT want lazy friends either.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (52881)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 Dec
@Kandae11 Lazy people bother me, as do self-absorbed people.
2 people like this
@ebanreb (4782)
• Philippines
2 Dec
This is true you cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends. People would say same feather flock together. same hobbies flock together. Since it is your choice to choose your friends then try choosing people who really are true to you and who have sense of respect.
6 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
Well said.
3 people like this
@ebanreb (4782)
• Philippines
2 Dec
@Kandae11 Thank you
3 people like this
2 Dec
Being able to choose our friends and being chosen by them is something very valuable.
6 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
It is always good to have a choice.
2 people like this
2 Dec
@Kandae11 Always.
@nomus24g (16439)
• India
2 Dec
there's a saying "birds of same feathers flock together" and that's how friends gel along...
5 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
And that's how you are judged too - by the friends you keep - whether good or bad.
4 people like this
@nomus24g (16439)
• India
2 Dec
@Kandae11 correct....
2 people like this
@TheHorse (52881)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 Dec
But which feathers? The "we look the same" feathers? The "we have common interests" feathers? The "we are thugs and read at a 5th grade level" feathers? I suppose it depends on what's most important to the person.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (13843)
• Fairfield, Texas
3 Dec
Someone who's not a know-it-all like me @Kandae11 . Discussions can get out of hand. Seriously though; a sense of humor is top priority on my list.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
A sense of humor can keep a discussion from getting out of hand.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (13843)
• Fairfield, Texas
3 Dec
@Kandae11 Just ask my sister; she's still alive.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (52881)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 Dec
That high on the list in any study of "interpersonal attraction."
3 people like this
@ridingbet (38053)
• Philippines
3 Dec
i am a faithful and loyal friend, but don't mess around because i can be the most ferocious person you can encounter. because of that, i want friends who are also loyal and trustworthy.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
- friends do not mess with Ingrid. I understand, you won't let anyone take advantage of you.
3 people like this
@ridingbet (38053)
• Philippines
4 Dec
@Kandae11 that is true. because i can treat a close friend like a living entity, once i am hurt. (like that patronizing colleague).
1 person likes this
@LoriAMoore (10037)
• United States
3 Dec
Most of my friends are older, in their late 60's and early 70's and look nothing like me. But they're loyal and funny and nice people.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
Loyalty makes lasting friendships - very important.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (20372)
• Canada
3 Dec
"kind, true , listens and has a great sense of humor" Good list! I would add: a dash of patience and some spirituality/humillity.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
Perfect.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (52881)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 Dec
My main criterion is similar interests.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
Very important component for a long lasting friendship.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (52881)
• Pleasant Hill, California
3 Dec
@Kandae11 I also listen closely to how people DESCRIBE their friends. A good way to find out what a person is like is to hear how they describe others.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
@TheHorse I agree.
@toniganzon (41103)
• Philippines
2 Dec
I don’t really have a criteria in choosing a friend. I just know when someone is going to be a great one. I have friends from different walks of liked and different ages. I have friends as young as 20 and as old as 65. I will be turning 40 early next year.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
2 Dec
You are a very balanced person - that's good. How do you feel about your approaching fortieth birthday?
2 people like this
@toniganzon (41103)
• Philippines
2 Dec
@Kandae11 I don’t feel any difference when I was approaching my 18th
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
@toniganzon Very good.
2 people like this
@DianneN (59691)
• United States
3 Dec
Hard to say. I have a huge variety of friends who are all dear to me. One thing for sure is that they are all intelligent, interesting, fun, kind, considerate, and classy.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
All of your friends share characteristics that you like - - intelligent, interesting, fun, kind, considerate and classy.
3 people like this
@DianneN (59691)
• United States
3 Dec
@Kandae11 Aww, thank you!
2 people like this
@TRBRocks420 (62322)
• Banks, Oregon
3 Dec
I am only concerned with how they treat people and animals.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
Valid concerns - I to won't want to be friends with someone who ill treats people and animals.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (13843)
• Fairfield, Texas
3 Dec
Critters are top of my list @TRBRocks420 .
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (15388)
• Toccoa, Georgia
3 Dec
I gravitate toward those who share the same interests as I do. But, that doesn't completely keep me from being friendly with those who are different from me.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
That's the right spirit.
2 people like this
• India
4 Dec
Iam not into choosing business. What matters to me is the instant connect with the person. His any kind of status does not matter to me
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
4 Dec
That connection is important. Sometimes people choose to be friends with someone not because they really like that person, but for various other reasons.
2 people like this
• India
5 Dec
@Kandae11 yes agree with you
@Hannihar (12898)
3 Dec
I have had different friends in different periods of my life. Here right now I like people that are there for me and stand by me whether they agree with me or not. People that care and loyal and nice and kind.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
Those are valuable friends.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (12898)
3 Dec
@Kandae11 Thanks Kandase.
• Philippines
3 Dec
i want a friend thats supportive and dont judge me all the time. loyal and not a backfighter
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
3 Dec
Did you mean backbiter? Yes , real friends should be supportive.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Dec
@nangayo (2293)
• Nairobi, Kenya
4 Dec
I choose someone whom i can understand and who understands me the way i am.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27109)
4 Dec
Good choice.
1 person likes this