I need your advices please...

Portugal
December 8, 2017 6:19pm CST
Hi everyone I will tell you my story with my best friend that i am in love with. When we first met i was forgetting a guy that i liked. He gave me a lot of support and was very kind to me. Actually he was the first guy that made me feel like i was worth something. And one day i noticed that he acted like he liked me as more than a friend and i asked him. And he said that i wasnt only a friend to him. And i asked him if he wanted to know how i felt about him and he said yes. And i said i liked him too. So we started to be very close and we agreed to meet soon. One day, as a joke i was saying bye because i was going to bed and i always said sweet things to him and he said to me. And i said: sweetie and he said: yes? And i said: sorry it wasnt for you. And he went offline. And i said: it wasnt to you, it was for....... ( a sweet name that i used to call him). I was just joking to be sweet to him but he thought that maybe i was flirting with another guy :( but i explained to him and he was a few monthes without speaking to me :( this happened in january i think and he just spoke to me again in april after someone with the same name as him talk to me. At first i thought it was him because the name was the same but the person said it was a friend of him. And i thought i love him and i need to know how he is so i will talk with this person then. I sent a message to my friend asking him if he knew the person and he said yes but dont talk to him. And i asked him why? But he didnt speak with me again :( and i already added the person before talk to him so i thought if is a friend i will speak to know at least if my friend is ok or not. His friend can tell me. But his friend asked me a question about sex and i said to him that i didnt have those kind of conversations with friends and that i loved my friend. And the person said that my friend was a good guy. And since then didnt talk about sex again.only we talked about my friend. He made me some questions and i said that i love my friend. Anyway a few time later my friend started to talk to me again and we became close again. After monthes without speaking. And because i loved him i just forgot what happened and showed him how much i loved him.and we were happy again.i always told him if a guy flirts or liked me so he could know that i was honest and even we didnt assume a relationship i didnt care about others. A few monthes later of being happy one day he told me that i shouldnt have speak with that person. That i should have done what he said. But i told him that i didnt know how he was and if the person was a friend of him i could ask him how he was.i cared a lot about my friend and not knowing if he was ok or not was kiling me. So speak with someone that was close to him that way i could know if he was ok or not.me and my friend made up after i explain that to him and everything seemed ok until 2 days later i sent him messages and he didnt reply me. Everyday for 3 monthes i checked if he said something until i decide to make him videos saying how i felt about him and say goodbye to see if he would say something and he still didnt say anything. So i decided to delete him from facebook to see if he would do something thinking that he could lose me but no.i couldnt take it to see him happy replying to other people and ignoring me. He didnt say anything. I just did that in hope that he would fight for me and we would be happy again. But he just didnt say anything. After a few days i saw that he blocked me and i thought that i really lost him. I was 10 monthes crying because of him. Until i met a guy that when we first met i still liked my friend and i told that guy that i liked my friend yet. So we went out without nothing happen. Until i finally accept that after 10 monthes would be impossible that he came back and i started to like the new guy and started to date him. We dated and i had my first relationship. But it was over after awhile. After a few time of the break up the guy i used to love at first returned to my life. After monthes without contact. And we were becoming close again. We were planning to finally meet each other and we were saying how much we loved each other but he asked me if i was with someone that time we were away from each other almost a year ( 10 monthes) And i told him the truth. And then he said that he decided that he didnt want anything with me because i said i want to be only with someone i love for my first relationship and i was with someone i didnt love. And i said that sometimes our dreams dont come as we dream. And the guy i dated i liked him and he liked me but we were dating so when we first date we like the person and love is with time. And i said to him that i liked the guy i was with but love i only felt for him. And is true. I never loved a guy like i love him. But since then he said that if i loved him i wouldnt be with another guy. But i mean if you love a guy and he ignores you for monthes and disappears of your life and you spend 10 monthes crying and meet a nice guy that likes you if you give him a chance that means you didnt love the other guy that disappeared?? No. I loved him a lot really. And i still do. But he says that because what happened cant trust me and doesnt believe that i love him. But i think that only a girl that really love would do everything that i did. Even though for two times he stopped talking to me and leave me behind i went after him fighting for his love. Why cant he see it? After many monthes away he came back and i just loved him again. All the feelings i used to have came back and we would be happy together how come he says i dont love him because after 10 monthes that he disappeared and i thought we would never talk again i met someone? I think any girl wouldnt wait 10 monthes until be with another guy unless she really loves the guy that disapeared. And honestly if he came back who would love this guy again like nothing happened? Only someone that has a big love.i love him very much and i just dont know what i can do to prove it to him. He says that if i really loved him i wouldnt have met another guy but i thought iwouldnt see him anymore. I was 10 monthes crying and before that i was monthes sending him messages without a reply.what did i do wrong? I love him very much and i just dont know how i can prove it to him. Please give your opinion about this. Thank you
9 people like this
10 responses
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
9 Dec 17
My opinion is he's playing head games with you, he's controlling, and maybe he's not even who he says he is. Also that you need to move on and find someone else. But thats just me, from what info you've given. Hope you have a good day
4 people like this
• Portugal
9 Dec 17
Courtney but you dont have any doubt that i love him right? Because i dont understand after so many proves i gave him how he can say that i dont love him.
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
9 Dec 17
@sweetloveforeve I don't know. You can feel like you love someone, and do all these things for them and to keep them in your life, but you may not. maybe you just don't want to move on and even be alone. Only you know if you do.
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
@Courtlynn yes i do courtney and i just wish he could see it because my ex wanted me back but i didnt give him any chance because i like this guy and i cant imagine myself with another guy.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47034)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
10 Dec 17
I'll agree with Jen and Courtney. If he stopped talking to, then you should let him go. It seems like he's playing games with you.
4 people like this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
For already two times he left me behind and the second time it was for 10 monthes. I stopped to see him, we stopped to talk. He just ignored me. And then came back into my life, i was sweet to him, we became closer and he asked ne if i met someone those 10 monthes we were away and he said that if i loved him i wouldnt meet anyone. But i mean he disappeared. And when he came back after 10 monthes i was willing to love him again. Who would act like i did? If didnt love? No one.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
10 Dec 17
I agree with Courtney-he is playing games with you and that is the most awful thing to do to someone! I know it's hard but you need to move on. You need to find the person you are actually meant to be with. People who care about YOU don't stop speaking to you for any length of time like that! So...the question isn't about your love for him-it's about his love for you-which does not exist!! I'm so sorry.
2 people like this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
@Courtlynn thanks so much
2 people like this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
Thanks for your reply jen.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
10 Dec 17
Yessss! Be a strong woman and move on.
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23222)
• Bangalore, India
10 Dec 17
All I can say is you have been truthful and accepting while this guy has been anything but truthful. And in my opinion, someone who cannot be honest in their conduct is just not worth it. He comes, he leaves then comes the disappears again as he feels like it only to play mind games. He is just stringing you along. Did you ask him what did HE do while he was gone? Did HE find someone else? I am telling you, girl. He is just keeping you as his "back up". If he is not man enough to step up then do you really want to waste your time and energy on him? While you could be going out meeting new people, making new friends, doing the things you want to do in life rather than pining over someone who cares nothing about what you want. Anyways, to put it bluntly, if you want to be a doormat then go right ahead with this guy because that is how much worth you are to him.
3 people like this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
Thanks for your advices
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99420)
• Canada
10 Dec 17
There is no doubt that you love him but i agree with the others. He is playing games and feeding his ego. You are such a sweet person that you deserve a man who will love and respect you and not play games. Who knows when he will juat up and leave again. Only you can make that choice to walk away or continue to try to prove your love for him. If I were you I wouldnt waste my time but I know for you that is easier said then done.
2 people like this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
Thanks so much for your words and for believing that i love him
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99420)
• Canada
10 Dec 17
1 person likes this
@Icydoll (36725)
• India
10 Dec 17
@sweetloveforeve as u r asking for advice.its best to stay away from him.Love is totally matter of trust.without trust there is no meaning to continue Ur relationship.yeah u loved him so much but he doubts Ur love .if he really likes he won't block or ignore u for silly reasons for several months.one can't live a second without talking to a person we love.he failed in that and blaming u.you with patience waited for him. If he truly likes u he should accept for way u be .way u do .instead of that u won't doubt Ur love for talking with other guy.so move on with Ur life.try to forget past..All the best to you:)
1 person likes this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
Thanks so much for believing that i love him and for your advices
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
@Icydoll thanks for your kindness i wish you the best too
1 person likes this
@Icydoll (36725)
• India
10 Dec 17
@sweetloveforeve welcome.hope all advices are helpful to you.start up now to get new memories:).have nice time
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Dec 17
oh my dear his sience m eanse does iot have the same feeliongs fory ou iiy havebeepayed for a f ool s ou need wise up amd meet a great ma wo doesloveyou and wlill not playh crel game wltou anone who loves uouiwill be here for uoui ot make ou wat for months go f nd this man now
1 person likes this
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
@Hatley I did a lot for him already. I mean which girl would do what i did if didnt love him?
@lady1993 (27225)
• Philippines
11 Dec 17
this situation is quite complicated. But based from this, the attitude of the guy that you love is not very good. He is gone for months at a time, then he comes back without saying sorry or any explanation. He does not try and talk to you, or understand you and immediately jumps to conclusions. I hope that you can have some closure though... it may take a long time.. but it seems this guy is not good for you
1 person likes this
• Portugal
11 Dec 17
Thanks for your worry yes he didnt give me any explanation
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48209)
• Canada
10 Dec 17
He seems like he's looking for a puppet, that he can control and pull the strings of. I would stay away from the likes of him.
• Portugal
11 Dec 17
Thanks for your advice
1 person likes this
• Kathmandu, Nepal
9 Dec 17
Great story!!!!!!
• Portugal
9 Dec 17
It is a real story and i would like you to say what do you think. Do you think that the girl doesnt love him?
• Portugal
10 Dec 17
@creativeaashish yes it is true. For already two times he left me behind even though i loved him a lot. And i was always with open arms willing to love him again. That is why i dont understand how come he can say that he doesnt believe that i love him.
1 person likes this
• Kathmandu, Nepal
10 Dec 17
@sweetloveforeve Yeah! I would love to give my opinions! See, Love for the first person is most memorable and unforgettable. I love one of my classmates back from school but she doesn't. I didn't try to impress her or call her so that she could give attention towards me. I am just moving forward with my life carrying her love. I can never forget that I loved her and I still do. This is very complex situation! As for your story, my thoughts would be to either carry on with the present love or forget about everything and start a new beginning making everything clear to your first love. No one can stand longer to a person if he ignores you repeatedly. He has got right to ignore you but with realistic reasons. After all, it's your life, you can choose whom to befriend or not. If he is playing too much around you, you can guess what kind of person is he??? And is it worth to still hang around him! You are in charge and decide yourself!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!