Does one bad act erase all of the good?
By Sissy15
@sissy15 (12269)
United States
December 9, 2017 9:19pm CST
Ther's a question I once asked a long time ago I'm not sure if it was on here or on another blog site but it's something that I have always pondered. People as a whole are not all good or all bad but are a mix of the two. We all do dumb things from time to time and for the most part, we are all capable of doing good things too. Some of us get lost along the way and might do more bad things and some people do more good things and really it's all about who we are and often how we were raised but not always. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for why a person is the way they are.
The thing is a person can do a bunch of good things and do one bad thing and they will forever be seen as the person who did that one bad thing despite doing a bunch of good before and after. So here's the question: Does one bad deed erase all of the good a person does? Can a person really redeem themselves after?
I feel like as a society we hold the bad above the good. I get some people do some horrible things sometimes based on weakness and while there is no excuse for such horrible behavior does that mean the person is really scum? I feel like once you have done that one bad thing there is really no coming back from it not really because you somehow get labeled. You can be a decent person who does a bad thing but no one really trusts you after you do something (of course the severity of said bad act plays a part).
In the world as a whole, we treat people as though they are guilty until proven innocent and that's not how it's supposed to work. Do you know how easy it is to place blame on anyone or to lie about things and have people believe you? Not very. We are way more prone to believe the bad things over the good things, I think most of us are programmed that way.
I feel like we often condemn people before really knowing the full story, and we don't take everything into account before labeling someone. I get some people do some pretty despicable things and some things are harder to come back from than others but does one moment of weakness or horrible thing we have done really discredit any and all good that person has done before or will do after? I am not talking about the horrible people who keep doing horrible things or who rape or kill someone with intent (like psychopaths) but those who show real remorse and messed up. I mean do those people ever get past that?
A, for instance, would be someone who drinks and drives and then gets behind the wheel of a car and hits and kills someone...it was a huge mistake and they show remorse but are they ever to be seen in a new light if they work to be good people and were good people before that moment? Or does that one moment hang over them for the rest of their life and erase all of the good they have done and will do? Is everything really black and white? You murder someone you're bad period despite all of the good? Another example would be you live a rough life and you get sucked into a gang and you reluctantly kill someone and feel guilty for forever but you somehow manage to get out of that life and try to better yourself and be a good person and give back...does any of that matter as long as you took those lives? My point is, is it really black and white? Or is there more to it? Does that one bad act or a bad past make you a horrible person forever?
16 people like this
13 responses
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
10 Dec 17
If its a really bad thing, then yes it should mean more than any good they've done
4 people like this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
Here's the thing with that though, say they did one really bad thing while not thinking but they've done a thousand great things before and after I'm not saying it erases the bad thing but doesn't it redeem them some? People do stupid things all the time and that doesn't make it right but I think people should be able to redeem themselves. I am not talking about people who do good things to make themselves look good or who do something horrible and try to write it off and proclaim how they have done great things all their life but someone who is has done great things for the sake of doing them and who feels guilt and remorse and owns up to their actions and tries to do better and be better. Some people have moments of weakness or get sucked into things and it doesn't make it right and it doesn't erase the bad but sometimes it isn't all black and white either. Some people are able to turn their lives around after doing some really bad stuff and I think as long as it's genuine it shouldn't be held over their heads forever at least by those that they didn't actually hurt. I can't say I blame those who were their victims by any means but sometimes people need to be given a chance to succeed and turn their lives around. I mean the situation varies and it honestly depends on what they did and why they did it but I feel like some people can turn their lives around and some can't and that really varies from person to person.
4 people like this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
@Courtlynn I can see how you would feel that way and sometimes I feel the same way but then I think about other things and how some people really try to make amends and turn their lives around after some bad circumstances. I am often conflicted on this.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
10 Dec 17
@sissy15 no, as i think of horrible things as murder kidnapping and rape and those are none fixable in my opinion.
3 people like this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
@JudyEv It is. I think it's easier for those who weren't a victim of the bad deed than it is for those who were. I can more easily forgive someone's past if I wasn't part of it. At the end of the day we can judge all we want but we will never fully be able to understand where that person is coming from.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (47043)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
10 Dec 17
It can be hard to say. If it's a minor bad thing, then I think we should remember the good things this person did and just forget this minor bad thing. But if it's a really bad thing, then it might be a little different. I think it depends on the situation.
2 people like this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
I agree this is very situational but I mean most things are. The motivation behind things can mean everything too. Was the person drunk? Did they do it maliciously? All of those things play a part. Some people are also automatically going to be more forgiving than others.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
10 Dec 17
I choose not to judge anyone, but love everyone. God is the only judge and we should keep it that way.
I'm growing in my walk with God, so I no longer worry what people think of me-only what the Lord thinks of me.
Our job on Earth is to be like Jesus, loving, helping and giving.
2 people like this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
I do my best to live my life like that but I'd be lying if I said I never judged anyone. I also don't like everyone but I do my best to try and respect everyone at least until they give me a reason not to. Maybe one day I'll be where you are but I'm not there yet but it's something I'm working on.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21736)
• Canada
10 Dec 17
You're correct. Society as a whole holds that one negative action or deed in the spotlight.
We are human...we all make mistakes.
I don't think there is one among us who doesn't harbour a secret sin...past or present.
2 people like this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
I agree but I think some bad deeds are worse than others and I can understand why their victims wouldn't forgive them. I know sometimes it takes everything in us to forgive others after they have wronged us. I do my best not to judge people by their pasts but it's a lot easier when I wasn't part of it.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
10 Dec 17
I know people that have done some terrible things. They were at a dark spot in their lives and since have turned a new leaf. Unfortunately our society refuses to let them live down the deed they did.
Of course there is the trust issue. Can we ever trust after a horrendous deed has been done? For some it isn't easy. I know I am on my guard and will never fully trust them.
Truly, it is they who will stand before our creator and be judged. We should not be the one to cast judgement. We are human and with that we make mistakes. Some are worse than others.
I have seen people do their time, go through rehab and counseling, get a good education, and still get ostracized by employers and society as a whole.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
11 Dec 17
@sissy15 I have seen the local rags print stories about people and when they are found not to be true they don't retract the statement nor do they print that they were found not to have done the deed. They make more money off the bad news.
In a small town it can ruin the life of someone. They are looked upon as the town loser and unfortunately they rarely are given the chance to prove themselves as different. They have to have a strong will and ability to overlook what others think of them.
Often times they move away and start anew.
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
11 Dec 17
@ElusiveButterfly I completely agree, a lot of the time those rags do ruin lives and you're right they do have to be able to overlook what others think of them which I can honestly say is difficult but it's easier for some than others. I myself would love to not care what others think about me but deep down I do care despite not wanting to. I think the reason I often feel empathy is because I think about how I would feel if it were me or someone I cared about. I would want them to have a second chance or myself to. I think if a person is truly serious and they are willing to do the work and are sorry for the pain they have caused then they're probably serious in their attempts to be a better person and are more likely to succeed. Some people will never change though and they are often the ones that ruin it for those who can change because the other people are the ones who have taught others that people can't and don't change.
If you've been burned before even if it's not from the same person you are far less likely to make it so you can be burned again, which is sad in some ways because there are people deserving of forgiveness or a second chance but they won't get one because a lot of people are very guarded. I myself am pretty guarded and I can say that I would like to give people a second chance but it's really not that simple. I am very skeptical of people, to begin with, so if I've been hurt once I probably will never fully trust that person again despite their best efforts. I try and I work on it but it's something that's not easy to get past.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
I completely agree, I too am one who doesn't just trust easily. If someone has done something wrong to me then I have a difficult time fully trusting them, I often feel this way towards my brother and probably always will. I love him and I want him to do better and even if he stops drinking and turns his life around for good I will always have doubts.
You are also right in that it's God's place to judge not ours, but that doesn't mean we have to trust people and it also doesn't mean those who are dangerous to others shouldn't server time and be kept off the street. The thing is people are often treated as guilty until they are proven innocent. I always feel that way with celebrities. I don't think things should be allowed to make headline until they have more proof than someone's word because it's very easy to point fingers so you can be in the spotlight or make money. A false accusation can ruin someone's entire life.
I have seen the same. Sometimes you can't live down your past mistakes and that's rather sad that we as humans can't have compassion for others but at the same time sometimes I can understand where people are coming from. I try not to hold peoples pasts against them if they are better people now but it's a lot easier when these people didn't directly hurt you.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158483)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Dec 17
I think it has a lot to do with how the media handles it. And, the circumstances. What about the husband who brings home the bacon for twenty years and is a good husband and father, and then freaks out one day and kills his wife, MIL, and three children?
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
11 Dec 17
@celticeagle That's horrible but sometimes when people aren't in their right mind things go through their heads that wouldn't otherwise.
It's hard to say what drives people to do the things they do but sometimes we don't have the time to analyze them. I do agree that there are definitely people out there who are just no good but sometimes it can be difficult to decipher between those ones and the genuinely good ones. I get why you keep to yourself but I guess I feel the need to get to know people but I definitely keep them at arm's length until I feel I'm sure about them or at least as sure as I can get. There are a very small handful of people I fully trust in my life. I let other people in but they only see what I allow them to see.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (158483)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Dec 17
@sissy15 ......They snap for some reason. I have a small handful of people I trust and let in too.
@celticeagle (158483)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Dec 17
@sissy15 .......My mother was going to take me with her when she was thinking of ending it all. She felt that she didn't want me left in a world she couldn't live in.
These things are all things we have to put up living in society as we do. Even when defending oneself we have to be certain they didn't use undo harm on the other person. There are all types of people in the world. We have to stay away from those we don't agree with. It's not easy. I stay to myself for this very reason. Some people are just no damned good. My grandmother told me that one day. It was a little later in life that I understood her and agreed.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (457226)
• Switzerland
10 Dec 17
No, it's not everything black and white and not all the time a bad act erases all the good done in the past. Some bad acts are so horrible that nothing can be done to redeem the persons who committed them. I have seen for many important men how one wrong act made them be forever remembered only for that act and not for the good they made in the past to their countries.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
I often think it depends on the person too and not just the act itself. If you have been wronged by someone and despite their best efforts to make it up to you and to be better people some can't forgive or forgive it and they'll always remember that person for that one bad thing they did despite the countless good things they did before and after. I do agree that some things are more forgivable than others. I think some things are black and white for some people.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
11 Dec 17
It would probably affect our perception towards someone if that person does a bad thing, but it certainly isn't fair to condemn him/her forever.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
11 Dec 17
I think it really depends on exactly what they do and why. Sometimes it's not about what's fair but about how they made you feel. It's easy for me to say I don't condemn certain people if I wasn't the one who was hurt but we as humans tend to want to protect ourselves. We let our feelings take over and let the hurt fester and then it's not about fairness so much as about our own feelings towards them. I could more easily forgive someone whose past was bad as long as I wasn't apart of it than I could someone who actually hurt me. With humans, it's rarely about what is fair and more about how we feel about a certain matter. Fairness rarely ever matters in most situations as that's the way of life.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
15 Dec 17
@cahaya1983 I do my best to forgive but it can be extremely difficult and I'm the same way. Just because I forgive someone doesn't mean I expect everyone to. We all have different personalities and reasons why we feel and think the way we do. Part of the reason I started this conversation was because we are all so different and I was genuinely curious to how others felt about this subject. As I'm reading through most people feel similar and yet different at the same time, they each have certain areas in which they consider their cutoff point. Some people are more forgiving than others. I myself try to be forgiving but it isn't always the easiest and I figure if I have a difficult time with it at times then people who have an even harder time forgiving, to begin with, might find it impossible.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 17
@sissy15 I agree, I think it's a subjective matter because the circumstances would be different in each case. I believe in forgiving - or at least trying to forgive - and moving on even though that might take many many years to do. I've done that and that has been my way of life until now. But just because I would, I don't expect everyone else to be as easily forgiving. 
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
11 Dec 17
Thank you @ElusiveButterfly for suggestion this discussion.
@sissy15 , no, nothing is black and white, there are hues and shades in life. But it is not easy to forgive someone who has hurt and who might hurt again.
It is not fair, but sometimes giving a person a second chance could lead to more pain and that is why when someone does something horrid they are stuck with that label.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
11 Dec 17
I think it often varies from person to person. For some people, things are black and white and for others even with the shades of grey mixed in they are less prone to forgive because of the things you mentioned. I get where you are coming from and I agree. I often feel conflicted about things because I don't know how to feel about certain things. Sometimes I feel like someone deserves a second chance but I also sometimes feel as though they don't or that I wouldn't be able to give them one.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
15 Dec 17
I agree, but sometimes people talk bad about someone else because they don't fully understand why a person did what they did or they find them to be a threat. We are afraid of things that we don't understand. We are afraid that when someone does something horrible to someone else that they could also do the same to us even if they've tried redeeming themselves and haven't done anything horrible since. I think the fear is in that you know they are capable of doing these things and they might do them again. I can understand that line of thinking. Some people are remorseless repeat criminals but others are people who did something horrible and have since done their best to make amends but no one fully trusts them because of their past.
@Daljinder (23228)
• Bangalore, India
10 Dec 17
As an outsider, it is difficult to ascertain what makes a person kick. We can guestimate by putting ourselves in their shoes and learn about their past and present to assess to a point. At the end of the day, we can only estimate and not judge in absolute certain terms. I don't know, I guess we have to ask ourselves whether this one bad act is bad enough to undermine all the other good acts? Or we can acknowledge both good and bad acts as due.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
10 Dec 17
Very true. I am often conflicted about this and it often makes me think. I mean I'd like to be forgiven for the bad things I've done but then again I've never raped or murdered anyone, but I mean what if someone I really cared about did it? Would I be able to turn my back on them? I often feel torn between how to feel about it.
1 person likes this
