Did you get spanked as a kid?

@TheHorse (203755)
Walnut Creek, California
December 13, 2017 9:30am CST
Parenting practices have changed, at least in the US, since many of us were kids. My parents were far from abusive (though I did call the police once when they told me to go to my room), but I do remember an occasional swat on the butt. And when I did something REALLY naughty, I remember a few bare bottom spankings, with me kicking my feet and crying "One last chance! One last chance!" I also remember my brother and I discussing how to pretend it hurt when it really didn't. Kids are smart. Now, all spanking is discouraged, though I'm sure most parents still do it now and again. The poor parents I work with do it a lot, and sometimes give their kids a "sick day" if they slip up and leave a mark. As a Mandated Reporter, I'm required to call Child Protective Services if I see evidence of physical or sexual abuse, but I'm quire sure that spanking your child is still legal here, so long as you don't do harm to the kid. Anyway, did you get spanked now and then when you were a kid? If you have children, did you spank them less than your parents spanked you?
41 people like this
50 responses
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 Dec 17
I got spankings as a child but nothing horrible and when I did I deserved it! One time my sister and I were fighting over the nintendo remote control and I bit her so she would give it to me. I was far old enough to know better, my anger got the best of me. My mom did spank me, and I definitely deserved it! My children got spankings now and then when they were toddlers and needed the correction. Now my older 3 don't get spanked ever, because I use other punishments far worse in their eyes like extra chores or time spent in their rooms. Julian, 1.5 years old gets a pop now and then when needed but not often-just when it's something serious he did. After he gets a pop on the hand or butt he puts himself in time out!
9 people like this
@GardenGerty (157047)
• United States
14 Dec 17
The well applied spanking, when a child cannot be reasoned with or logic out the things that they are doing may result in much fewer as they get older. For a month or two I carried a switch (stick) under my front car seat because my first born could unfasten his car seat and open the door faster than I could get around to get him. I was pregnant. I explained to him that IF I had to spank him, it would hurt, but I would rather hurt him with a spanking than have a car HURT him by running over him in the parking lot. He was a smart kid, I never had to use that switch.
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
14 Dec 17
@GardenGerty I agree! I would rather pop them myself rather than them get seriously hurt by doing something they shouldn't do. It's a way to get their attention and fast-not meant to hurt or cause damage-at least not in my house anyway.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Dec 17
Good job @LovingMyBabies .
3 people like this
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
13 Dec 17
My parents were, on the whole, against physical punishment but I did once get chastised by my father (when he caught me slashing what I thought were weeds but were actually flowers he cherished). I was also caned at school, had a ruler rapped across both knuckles and palms and felt the sting of both leather belt and slipper on my backside (all done by teachers or those in authority).
6 people like this
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
14 Dec 17
@TheHorse Yes, I went to an English prep school and to two boarding schools. At the prep school and the first boarding school, discipline was strict and often physical. My last school was a Quaker school and didn't hold with physical discipline. I hated the first two, of course!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 Dec 17
Was that in England?
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
14 Dec 17
@owlwings Even here in the US back in the 60's & 70's, teachers could use a board to whip a student and then you were sent to the Principals office where your parents were called. That wasn't good considering you already got one whipping and you could count on getting another one once you got home.
3 people like this
@FourWalls (61328)
• United States
13 Dec 17
Yes, I had the board of education applied to the seat of knowledge. It was a temporary pain to serve as a lesson that actions have consequences, especially bad actions. And, when in junior high, I remember that it was our "job," as upperclassmen, to let the 7th graders know which teachers were the quickest on the paddle and who had the meanest back swing.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 Dec 17
Nice wording. I hadn't heard that before.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (61328)
• United States
14 Dec 17
@Hannihar — nearly every teacher in junior high (1973-75 for me, public school) had a paddle.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (129117)
• Israel
14 Dec 17
Four Walls, were there a lot of teachers that did that?
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (455012)
• Switzerland
13 Dec 17
I have never been spanked, my father was very strict, but against hitting children. My brother was a few times by my Mom.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (455012)
• Switzerland
23 Dec 17
@TheHorse Eastern European? YES! She surely spanks him.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
@LadyDuck Heh. My poor little guy. He's actually doing well. But he loves being over here. I think my "casualness" contrasts well with her extreme directiveness.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
I wonder if my (Eastern European) young friend's mom ever spanks him. She IS very strict with him.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (72520)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Dec 17
I got spanked very rarely. Mostly my parents talked it out with me so I would understand and made sure I understood and promised to do better.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
That's how we (mostly) do it at the preschool. If they persist, they get what amounts to a "timeout."
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (39965)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Dec 17
@TheHorse - Yes, I got spanked as a kid and my mother could be pretty brutal when she spanked us. As a result, other than a swat on the hand or leg when they were little, I never spanked my children. They all grew up to be happy, productive adults, so I think the way I disciplined them worked out fine. Usually, they just lost a privilege of some kind when they misbehaved.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
Yeah, I think that kind of punishment works best. I just try to make sure there is SOME consequence for actions. With my older kids (the ones I work with), I say, "Um, we might have to have a shorter outing." That's enough.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Dec 17
@DeborahDiane If we respond with too much emotion, they "win." If we dispassionately explain the contingencies, we "win," and so do they, because they feel "safe."
2 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
24 Dec 17
@TheHorse - Yes, I have found that kids respond well to that kind of comment. Parents and other authority figures do not have to go nuts over every misbehavior.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157047)
• United States
14 Dec 17
I was occasionally spanked, more often threatened. The threat of a spanking was often enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.Mom did most of the spanking. SHE had been beaten. Dad spanked very rarely. I am sure he was spanked. I remember my last spanking, at about 14, by dad. I really sobered up because I felt like I must have been really rotten for a long time for him to spank me. I spanked my kids some. I found that spanking them made me angry so I did it less and less.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 Dec 17
Interesting point about spanking making you angry.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Dec 17
I was neverspanked as a child I never spanked mine either I used time out or take awauy so meting that they wanted
3 people like this
• United Kingdom
14 Dec 17
Same with me and that's my plan with Leonard
@dodo19 (47034)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
13 Dec 17
No, my parents never spanked me as a kid. I don't think that they ever did it to my sister either. It wasn't something that my parents ever did.
3 people like this
@dodo19 (47034)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
14 Dec 17
@TheHorse No, I don't think I turned out a spoiled brat. As a kid, my parents still punished me when I did something wrong. They just didn't spank me.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 Dec 17
Did you turn out to be a spoiled brat?
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
14 Dec 17
My legs (too often) got red marks all over them from a peach tree switch that I had to go break off the tree. It hurt a lot and did not endear my mother to me. I did not spank my daughter at all raising her as a single parent. I think hitting a child teaches them to hit; it did me. Oh, and then there was the PE teacher in San Antonio who heard me say that other word for excrement and swatted me (bent over) through thin gym shorts with a paddle tennis paddle.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
Nowawdays shed be fired and sued! The switch off of the tree thing is Mark Twain traditional. I agree that hitting kids teaches them to hit.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Dec 17
Mom's favorite weapon was a solid, silver belt with raised stones and my Dad's was a 3 ft section of garden hose with the end spliced @TheHorse . You can bet your sweet bippy that they weren't used that often; you didn't forget the last incident. We were also made to stand in a corner with our nose touching for a minimum of 1 hour. And yes, I whooped my daughter too and I didn't have to do that very often because I would say, "How soon do you want a whipping?" Kids today think if they get slapped on the hand they're dying. And what is the crime rate of youth today?????
4 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
I actually think that over-discipline, but inconsistent discipline, contributes to higher crime, not too much leniency. Also ignoring/neglecting kids. Too much leniency leads to spoiled, entitled kids, but not crime.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
14 Dec 17
@CoralLevang At least your daughter 'knew' the boundaries.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20368)
• Fairfield, Texas
15 Dec 17
@CoralLevang There definitely will be regrets down the road there.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23222)
• Bangalore, India
13 Dec 17
Decade ago it was pretty normal (if not advisable) to use slaps, canes, sticks, spanking and the likes to "make" a kid behave or "make" a kid perform better. Now the laws are putting a stop to that for which I am very glad. And yes not often but I got punished by parents and teachers alike.
3 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109865)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Dec 17
For sure I was spanked and punished.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
Do you think it affected you one way or another?
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109865)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Dec 17
@TheHorse It taught not to do things that caused punishment. It teaches discipline and that you can't get away with doing naughty things.
@teamfreak16 (43451)
• Denver, Colorado
14 Dec 17
My mother was too busy beating me to spank me.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (61328)
• United States
14 Dec 17
I’m so sorry. I was never beaten. When my mom spanked me, she would tell me EXACTLY what I was being punished for. Huge difference between the two. I hate that you had to endure that.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
Heh. Funny in an un-funny way. Are you serious?
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43451)
• Denver, Colorado
14 Dec 17
@FourWalls - Thanks. I just don't speak to anyone, they don't speak to me, and it works just fine. I don't even know if she's still alive, honestly.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
14 Dec 17
If we used to commit any blunder in our childhood, we used to get a slap from our parents not spanking. We also don't spank our kids.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
26 Dec 17
@TheHorse I find it bad.
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
I am glad you don't spank your kids. I don't think it's necessary.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (168441)
• United States
14 Dec 17
Not much, my parents weren't the spanking kind.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (168441)
• United States
15 Dec 17
@TheHorse Probably not..but I don't think spanking or lack there of was the problem!!.
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Dec 17
I see that as a good thing. Did you turn out OK?
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36267)
• Toccoa, Georgia
14 Dec 17
On occasion I was. I spanked my own kids on occasion.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36267)
• Toccoa, Georgia
23 Dec 17
@TheHorse No, my sister & I are adults and happy today.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
@LeaPea2417 I am glad to hear that.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
Sounds about right. Nobody "traumatized"?
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64363)
• United Kingdom
13 Dec 17
I think that things have gone too far now - parents should be able to chastise their children if they are really bad. If a child knows that this may happen it acts as a deterrent -remember the old saying - 'People are not hanged for stealing a sheep, but so that sheep shall not be stolen.' And yes, I was regularly hit by my father, often with a leather belt. He went too far, but a sharp smack on the legs does no harm.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64363)
• United Kingdom
23 Dec 17
@TheHorse When they get to the age of 2 or 3 it's natural for children to test their boundaries. If mine were disobedient, yes, I would give them a sharp slap on the legs. It worked, because I never, ever had to do it again. As I said, it's a deterrent. If they know they will get punished, they don't do it. I hate to see children openly defying their parents - they're told not to do something but just carry on and the parent accepts it. That is so wrong.
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
Did you spank your own kids?
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
13 Dec 17
Nope. My brother and I never did. But then we weren't bad kids. None of us believe in spanking either.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Dec 17
@CoralLevang My dad's frustration manifested itself as smoking and drinking too much. He "displaced" it on us only occasionally.
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
14 Dec 17
@CoralLevang and that sucks for them.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
14 Dec 17
@CoralLevang not all obviously, as I've never thought that way.
@Hannihar (129117)
• Israel
14 Dec 17
My parents weren't around enough when I was growing up to see what we did.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 Dec 17
That sounds less than ideal. Who provided you with guidance?
@TheHorse (203755)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Dec 17
@Hannihar Was he or she a good babysitter?
@Hannihar (129117)
• Israel
14 Dec 17
@TheHorse No one really. We had a babysitter at times.
1 person likes this