My friend needs help.

@sharon6345 (138111)
United States
December 13, 2017 7:48pm CST
she has been dating a guy for a few years. However, his mom passed 3 years ago. The man is deeply depressed and since this friend shares his moms birthday he never spends it with her. She is going to be back to read this. I did tell her you would be honest and that is ok with her. She wants to break it off but she loves him. How does she deal with this? I could not offer much being that I am not dealing with that situation. Thanks for the help. She is in dire need. Her words.
11 people like this
13 responses
@Courtlynn (55163)
• United States
14 Dec
You can love someone, but not be with them. Maybe its better for them to just be friends. Sorry he won't spend her birthday with her though, thats tough.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (37400)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Dec
yes or just be an adult about it and say it is just one day out of the whole year. you are right or just be friends although that is quite hard if you love someone. he still probably would not spend the day with her. where if she just ignores the one day, they could stay a couple in love.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
Oh yeah she tried that and it was such a flop. LOL
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55163)
• United States
14 Dec
@sharon6345 tried what? Just being friends? Then maybe they aren't meant to be, as a couple or friends. It happens.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Dec
she needs o ge her friend o a rsee what the do ctor sas and I felel she shou be looking for oso mo e who is no completly de p ressed as e soun dsoff his crocker, she could be wasing her life waiing for him to change.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Dec
I think people need to make these decisions themselves. It would help if he saw a doctor for his depression. I hope it works out for your friend.
3 people like this
@marguicha (101971)
• Chile
14 Dec
Has she tried to talk to him into seeing a doctor? Depression is not only a matter of mood. There are chemical things that get unbalanced in the brain. Doctors help and can prescribe meds.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
I am not sure but she will be here in a while.I will ask.
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
My friend said he copes with drinking and won't go.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
15 Dec
@marguicha Oh yeah she knows for sure.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (69839)
• Roseburg, Oregon
14 Dec
Would he celebrate her birthday a week early or week late with her.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
That seems like something wishful to ask. I will check when she wakes up. Thanks Judy.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (37400)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Dec
that's the best idea yet. especially if she still loves him and he is good in most other ways with her
@bunnybon7 (37400)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Dec
I have no idea. I would probably just let him spend the birthday where ever and share it with my other friends and family. if she loves him so much just not worry about it. he may eventually come to share it with her. if he isn't beating her, cheating on her, or stealing her money she should leave it go. its one day after all.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
That is good and when she reads this she will feel better. That is basically what I said. She went out and had a ball so it was nice. Thanks for that.
1 person likes this
@lady1993 (20026)
• Philippines
14 Dec
i think the man needs to accept that he also has a responsibility to his girlfriend. They should have a talk before breaking things off
1 person likes this
• China
14 Dec
Oh, god. She is really poor.
1 person likes this
@yanzalong (10174)
• Indonesia
14 Dec
I wish I could give her a hand.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec
I cannot relate to this situation, but since it's been 3 years since his mother's passing - you'd think he consider acceptance for his mom, and maybe it's faith he met your friend as they share the same birthday. What is the probability of that?! Is he only ignoring your friend on her birthday / his mom's birthday? Or is he being distant since?
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
He has been doing very well up till this point she said. He was for sure.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec
@sharon6345 I am sorry to hear your friend is going through this and of course his mother's passing too. It is a tough one.
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
@infatuatedbby Yes she will be ok. She will be here soon. Thanks as always.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (52655)
• United States
14 Dec
Certainly not on the day his mom passed away, and if it was me I would wait until after the holidays. No one wants to be bummed out for Christmas.
@sharon6345 (138111)
• United States
14 Dec
Ok thanks you I will see what she says. she will be here in a short while.
@RasmaSandra (19660)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Dec
I think he needs to have some therapy for dealing with the situation. Actually even if the birthdays coincide there is nothing wrong to celebrate with his friend but light a candle in remembrance of his mom. Just saying. Never being in such a situation they will have to work it out best they can.
@dpk262006 (56484)
• Delhi, India
14 Dec
She needs to take a decision either way. Lingering on does not help.