Christmas party, dice game behavior, confusion and thankfulness

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Hi MyLot! This might be a sort of disjointed post, but I will hope you don't mind it too much. I just can't seem to focus on writing a review or topic or theme post today. So this weekend has been busy but unusual. Friday my dance troupe and I were going to take a workshop with a professional, but she had to cancel. Well, alright. So we got together to dance. However one un-named member wanted to talk about our upcoming show at great length. So no dancing. And when she said "talk" she meant talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk until everyone else gives up and lets her have her own way. Meh. I guess most of what was discussed didn't really bother me one way or another, so I was alright with what got picked. On the way back I saw that the bar had a band I liked, so I just stopped in without knowing anyone there. I know the men who run sound, and one of my friends is a waitress out there. But no one else did I know. It was nice but a bit awkward. I got to talk to my friends a bit and forced myself to talk to an attractive man. He was actually nice to me. I was shocked. But I was disappointed and I continue to be. A man that I have admired for years... finally reached out to me. He has been suggesting a get together for , like about a month now. But he never carries through. I guess he was recently sick, so that's why not, recently here -but I have serious doubts that he'll carry through anyway. I have seen how men act when they really are attracted to a woman. My best friend is what is considered really hot -- men literally throw themselves at her feet. They offer their numbers , they offer compliments, they want to see her all.of.the.time.right.away. There is none of this "oh yeah, I will not contact you for 2 weeks and then tell you yet again we should get together and then be vague about the time and place." If he were interested. He'd carry through. So my question is why ? Why pretend to be interested, why say you want to get together when your actions prove otherwise? I thought he was really nice - but who knows. Maybe he's a schmuck like so many of the rest. It brings up a lot of feelings. Feelings of when past boyfriends and told me that my body is disgusting. Feelings of when my ex-fiance hadn't seen me in months and was oggling another woman (that was followed by advice on I should make myself look like her). Feelings of the countless men who have pulled the whole "I would like to get together with you" and then a short time later they are dating someone else who looks the opposite of me. (Like they were able to set a date with *her* but not me.) All it does it make me feel depressed and like I am this substandard example of a woman. Otherwise why would I get treated this way. Anyway, I am fully waiting for the man in question to roll up with some cute chick real soon, someone he cared enough about to actually meet with. Anyway that is what is coloring my emotions heavily. I always say that the next time he texts I will act cold, maybe not reply. But I always recant. So the next day I went to a Christmas party. It was nice! That's what the picture is from. :-) I'm standing between plastic santa and the elf. We ate, visited, and people who had brung a gift played the "dice" game. Everyone rolls dice to get a double. Once you get a double, you pick a gift (wrapped). When everyone has a gift , you open them. Then you keep rolling dice and if you get doubles you can take a gift from someone else, giving them yours. Well this one woman - must be in her 50s - (I'm bringing age into it to establish that she is an adult) , right she got a pretty cool gift. It was kitchen goods. For like 10 minutes she was refusing to play the dice game because she "wanted that gift" -- she hid it behind her back and wouldn't show people what it was. Then, she hid the dice down her bra. Her husband and the host of the party had to talk to her like she was a little child. I thought that behavior was really deplorable. So I "took" the gift from her. It went back and forth many times actually. The person who ended with it gave it back to the brat. Why do things work out for brats so often? Anyway. Immature behavior for sure. From there I went to a crowded bar for a birthday party I left after a little bit - and went to the bar where the Christmas party group had met up again. Knew so many people there, but didn't get to dance much. Oh well. Next week promises to be busy. Tomorrow afternoon I will go to my parent's place as my mom has some prep to do for a health test. Then there's dance in the evening. Then early the next day we get up and go to her appointment. We get home, I don't know what time we'll be back. Wednesday I will likely have the opportunity to see the "texting man" again. Then my folks and I celebrate Christmas on Thursday , Friday I might go to another party and then the weekend opens up. Christmas day the folks will come up here to my place and we will do our usual thing by going to the Chinese restaurant since we have no extended family and we will watch movies. So, I know I'm being upset about things -- but I do remember all of the things I'm thankful for and I will be so happy when mom's tests come out fine. :-) <3 Today I'm catching up on here, practicing bass and getting some exercise hopefully. I'm going to meet a friend out for supper and then I'm going to meet more friends for gift exchange later. :-) So I actually shouldn't be so mopey about some man. Send prayers please and happy thoughts, ... thank you for listening to my rant and feel welcome to tell me how your weekend has been Photo: Me at the Christmas party