With Or Without Notice

@Juliaacv (33082)
Canada
January 11, 2018 7:18am CST
My husband was just notified that his uncle passed away. It was expected, and he was able to make a final visit to see him a couple of days ago. He was not my uncle, but was by marriage. My father-in-law passed away when my husband and I were very young teenagers. This uncle saw to it that his nieces and nephews were not without the care and guidance that he was able to offer. And when my husband and I began to date I immediately enjoyed Uncle Robert and all that he stood for. When my husband was a young teenager, Uncle Robert taught him how to organize a tackle box and what hooks worked best for catching certain fish. And how fishing was a really good way to connect with nature.......and relieve stress. He was a very loving and kind man. He will be missed by all in our generation, and our children, many of whom looked up to him as a grandfather. Its hard to lose someone we love, with or without notice, it still hurts.
21 people like this
21 responses
@LadyDuck (175604)
• Switzerland
11 Jan
My condolences to your husband and to you Julia. I know, it's hard to lose someone we love, even when we are prepared.
3 people like this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thank you Anna. I thought of you as I wrote this post, and hoped that it would not reopen your wound of grief as it has not been very long. We were blessed to have him in our lives.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (175604)
• Switzerland
11 Jan
@Juliaacv I cannot still realize my mom is no more. It will take time.
3 people like this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
@LadyDuck I know it will, it took until our first family gathering after my Dad passed before I realized that he was gone. And then every time I went to visit my mother I kept on glancing down the hallway, expecting him to come walking down it from the bedroom, it was so painful.
1 person likes this
@gaianoor (1144)
• Tirana, Albania
11 Jan
He may rest in peace. The most wonderful thing is that he left behind his legacy and lot of people who loved him. You will always remember him with a smile on your face.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thank you so very much. Once my tears stop flowing, I will hopefully always remember him with a smile. He gave my husband a final smile when he visited him this week, he'll hold on to that memory for the rest of his life.
2 people like this
@gaianoor (1144)
• Tirana, Albania
11 Jan
@Juliaacv for now that is what you should do , cry because you lost someone who was family. Hugs to you and your family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
@gaianoor Thank you.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (45184)
• Gainesville, Florida
12 Jan
We were just talking about that today at work. One of my co-workers lost his dad unexpectedly yesterday. What makes it so tough in this situation is that this employee is also dealing with the fact that his wife is dying of cancer. Life certainly doesn't seem fair at all.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
Oh I feel so sorry for that person. He has a lot to deal with, and when he feels stressed he won't be able to reach out to his wife for fear of upsetting her. Tough.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (45184)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Jan
@Juliaacv You are so correct. His wife and his dad were his two "rocks." When his wife got diagnosed with cancer, he felt comfort in knowing he could turn to his dad for support. But now that his dad is gone, I'm not sure what he is going to do. It's just a sad situation all around for him.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
14 Jan
@moffittjc When I hear stories like that it makes me realize that I don't have it very bad.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (134347)
• Bunbury, Australia
11 Jan
I'm glad your husband got to see your uncle to say goodbye. He sounds a wonderful friend and support to his young relations.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
He was a lot of fun. They had a surprise party for his 85th birthday, and the band that he used to play in played for it, he even sat in and played the drums for us for a while. It was a very hot and muggy day, it was amazing that a man that age could be out at all let alone all of that excitement. But he loved to have fun.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (134347)
• Bunbury, Australia
12 Jan
@Juliaacv That would have been a wonderful party. I bet he thoroughly enjoyed himself. Vince used to play the drums in a previous life.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
@JudyEv It was so much fun. It was an exceptionally hot and muggy summer day, and it was an outdoor party. It was held at his son's place, and for shade he put up some stakes and used tarps as covers to keep us out of the sun. There were close to 75 people there and there was even dancing on that uneven lawn. The best part for me was seeing the huge smile on his face as he sat there playing the drums.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (20503)
• Canada
13 Jan
I'm so sorry for your loss but loved reading about your life with him. He will always live in your hearts.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
13 Jan
He was a hoot and a howl, put a fishing rod in his hand and he was mischief with a smile!! But when I read some of the on-line condolences I was taken back to see how many people's lives he touched. A dentist left a note of thanks praising him for all of the times that he'd bring in fresh vegetables from his garden for the entire staff.
1 person likes this
• Canada
14 Jan
@Juliaacv That's so interesting, he sounds like a wonderful man that will be missed.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
14 Jan
@PainsOnSlate Yeah, he was quite a character and we'll all miss him so. Even his great nieces and nephews were so connected to him, I have to say that IS great personality and comic. I read an online condolence that one of the office staff from the home wrote. She looked forward to seeing him sitting in the front in a corner chair. She talked about loving talking to him, hearing him talk about this next adventure for the day. He really had an impact on a lot of people.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan
I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy,
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
13 Jan
Thanks JM, he was a great and fun guy. Welcome back-I've missed you.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan
@Juliaacv Thanks! I'll be gone again but back in February!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
13 Jan
@Jeanniemaries February is only a couple of weeks away. Take care until then!
@alberello75 (18630)
• Genova, Italy
11 Jan
A very sad thing You have, for my part, sincere condolences.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thank you for your very kind words, they mean a lot.
1 person likes this
@alberello75 (18630)
• Genova, Italy
11 Jan
@Juliaacv This is the least I can do
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (41686)
12 Jan
About so sorry about your loss How is your husband doing?
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
Thank you. As I sit here this morning I still cannot believe that he is gone from our lives forever, I know that sounds cliché but that is how I feel today. My husband is sad but I know that his visit helped him realize this.
@Hannihar (41686)
14 Jan
@Juliaacv Jukiaacv, you are welcome. Yes, it is very hard to say good bye to those that were important to us.
1 person likes this
• Kathmandu, Nepal
12 Jan
Rest In Peace! This situation is most difficult situation for their families. Hope god will help you and your family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
Thank you.
1 person likes this
• Kathmandu, Nepal
12 Jan
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (12770)
• Malaysia
11 Jan
sorry for your relative passing, accept my condolence
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
Thank you kindly.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (12770)
• Malaysia
13 Jan
@Juliaacv you are welcome
1 person likes this
@Susan2015 (21677)
• United States
13 Jan
Very sorry for your family's loss and may he rest in peace.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
13 Jan
Thank you.
@sueznewz2 (10132)
• Alicante, Spain
12 Jan
he sounds like he was a great family man... my condolences to you all
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
13 Jan
He was, thank you.
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (10557)
• Toronto, Ontario
12 Jan
It takes you back for sure and especially when you realize you will miss that person in your life. I 'm sorry to hear about your loss.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
13 Jan
Thanks.
• Midland, Michigan
12 Jan
Sorry for your loss, Julia. I didn't realize that you've known your husband most of your life. It's great that his uncle took such an active role in the lives of the family. I'm sure everything ne will miss him for a long time. At least there should be no regrets, or less than most families have when time isn't taken to spend with those we love.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
My husband started going to my grade school back in grade 7, so we've known each other a long time. But every single day it gets better, and there are days when I wonder how that is possible as each day feels so wonderful. I also knew some kids who were related to Uncle Robert on the other side of the family. He has a lot of nieces and nephews. He and our aunt had a seasonal camping lot beside our sister-in-law and her husband and kids. They were such a huge part of our lives, all of our lives. We miss our Aunt, but with having him still with us, it was a blessing-a blessing that we will sorely miss. I had more then a few nieces text me yesterday with broken hearts over our loss, but I reminded each of them that his suffering is over now, and we are all that much better for having had him in our lives.
1 person likes this
@SAM774 (4124)
12 Jan
Condolences to you and your husband.... Take care....
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
Thank you very much, greatly appreciated.
@Corbin5 (115523)
• United States
11 Jan
Prayers of comfort coming for all those who knew and loved this fine man. He really was someone so very special.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
12 Jan
Thanks Deb, he'll be sorely missed.
1 person likes this
@Platespinner (17062)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 Jan
So sorry for your family's loss. It sounds like you have wonderful memories.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thank you, we have some beautiful memories of a beautifully kind-hearted man.
1 person likes this
@marlina (77770)
• Canada
11 Jan
So sad to lose a good person like your husband's uncle.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thank you. A niece just finished texting with me. She is heart-broken, but I reminded her that we are really lucky to have had him in our lives. And he's not suffering any longer-he had mrsa and colon cancer, not pleasant at all.
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan
I am so sorry for your loss. =( He sounds like a great man.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thanks Jenn. I'm grateful that he stepped up to the plate to help my mother-in-law with the kids the way that he did. He was just so much fun, and I will always remember him making me laugh until the tears rolled out of the corners of my eyes.
@Kandae11 (40370)
11 Jan
What a wonderful man -- he was there for his brother's children and others. May his soul rest in peace.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33082)
• Canada
11 Jan
Thank you. He was a bigger man because it was his wife's sister's kids that he was there for. That was huge, and we were so very blessed to have had him as such a loving member of our family. He will be sorely missed by us, and also by the Belgium community. He was a past president of the Canadian~Belgium~Dutch Club back in that city. A lot of people counted on him for a lot of different reasons.
1 person likes this