Anyone Else Absolutely HATE Small Talk?

Canada
January 17, 2018 1:09am CST
I can't speak for the rest of the world or even the rest of North America, but up here in Canada it seems we have to endure tedious small talk to get just about anything done. At the bank, at the store, "hi, how are you?" I tend to just ignore it and get straight to the point. "I'd like to deposit $50 into savings..." in the checkout line while looking at the exit "catching the bus in a few minutes..." Why do we feel we need to engage in this tedious banter? I sure don't think less of those doing their jobs (for some reason I don't want to say "those serving me,") just that I feel that "how are you" is a very personal question. I LOVE calling my favourite cab company. Hello Red Top Taxi Hi! I need a taxi to _____ for _____. Can you please tell me when it'll get there? 10 minutes. Thanks! Click If you ask me, THAT is how you do efficient business!!!!
9 people like this
11 responses
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
17 Jan 18
I enjoy the small talk, I guess because I don't get out that much anymore...
4 people like this
• Canada
17 Jan 18
I wish there was a socially acceptable one syllable response similar to putting a hand in front of a camera. It would be so nice to be able to continue the small talk if you enjoy it, or in my case, stop it without offending anyone.
• United States
17 Jan 18
you can blame some employers for that-they want you to chat up the customer to the point of nausea. they don't seem to realize some people are busy and that's annoying.
4 people like this
• Canada
17 Jan 18
YES!!!!!!! You know something? I may just apply for a job as a dispatcher at the afore-mentioned taxi company!! I can tell cars where to go, and I don't have to engage with people beyond the necessary.
@GardenGerty (157047)
• United States
17 Jan 18
There are some businesses that have a favorite check person or something and I may chat. Some places the person in line in front of or behind me gets to be just as annoying. I would be like @plethos and keep it very simple and abrupt when chatted up.
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Jan 18
Sounds like yesterday at Starbucks. When that happens, after about two minutes I will politely ask "is there another person on staff? I walk with a cane and can't stand up much longer." The person in front usually gets the message, and I'm being totally honest. If I am in a situation where I have a favourite cashier, I constantly look behind me to make sure no one is there, and the moment someone gets there, I end the conversation, because I don't want to hold them up.
@Plethos (13618)
• United States
17 Jan 18
once they ask me a question about my day, i just say "good" and keep my answers to a single word. most get the hint and i can actually see them hurrying to get me out of the way.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (157047)
• United States
17 Jan 18
That would be my response as well.
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Jan 18
That's good when it can't be avoided. I often say "I just want to get down to business." No subtlety in that. LOL No subtlety, but I haven't been unnecessarily witchy.
1 person likes this
@mrki444 (15150)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jan 18
Some times small talk is good, but sometimes is bad. If you will travel longer with taxi, than small talk is okay.
3 people like this
• Canada
17 Jan 18
That's a good point, and can lead to a whole new conversation. LOL I am odd, that way. Sometimes I feel like chatting, sometimes i really don't, and when I don't, I feel like a hostage. The other night I went to the liquor store to get a bottle of bourbon (my husband makes the best homemade cough syrup!!) and I was barely able to talk. I just croaked to the driver that I had laryngitis, and would not be speaking.
• Canada
17 Jan 18
@mrki444 Thank you. I ride the bus most of the time, and just keep my headphones on. It's easier to ignore people in large groups than it is, one on one. LOL I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE interacting with people in writing. Less social protocol that way. This way it's less about the person, and more about the ideas. I don't know who you are, and I don't think you know who I am, but what we do know is that two people with great minds are communicating.
@mrki444 (15150)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jan 18
@danishcanadian You are not odd. Everybody sometimes is for talk and sometimes is not. Sometimes I like to just get job done.
3 people like this
@gaianoor (1118)
• Tirana, Albania
17 Jan 18
Is something that makes both feel better. i Think "How are you?" is just a nice way to make the other feel comfortable.
2 people like this
• Canada
17 Jan 18
I'm so lucky to be married to a former military man. LOL He's a sweet and sensitive guy (didn't want to fight in that darn Vietnam war in the first place) but the Military did teach him a thing or two, and that is that humans can be too sensitive some times. and it's PERFECTLY OK not to feel responsible for the emotions of everyone around us. I'm not going to go around shoving people out of my way, and being overtly mean, but I feel no need to act fake to make someone else feel better either. We both agree that it's nearly impossible to do something for someone else's benefit, without knowing the person better first.
• Canada
18 Jan 18
@gaianoor What I may have forgotten to mention about myself, is that I am legally blind and have some mobility issues. I'm not saying that as an excuse (I don 't believe in using challenges like that as excuses) just that for me, those few seconds where I'm forced to make smalltalk, could be better used to orient myself, and understand my surroundings better. The best way to explain my vision, which is a neurological cause, is that it's like being drunk, without the ill-feelings that go with it. Imagine walking down the street a little intoxicated, and having to pay extra attention, so that you can see where you are, or maybe stay on your feet. That's how it is with me. I don't feel ill, nor is my mouth in gear, acting like a drunk idiot. I just mean that as a drunk person has to pay more attention in order to hide their drunkenness, I have to concentrate on a regular basis to compensate for abilities I may not have. So, in a way, it actually will cost me, to break my concentration. Of course not everyone is going to know this automatically, and I don't expect this of them. I just wish there could be a quick one or two syllable way of saying "I can't deal with extra distractions right now." As for smoling, I smile when something makes me happy, not as an automatic response. I can see faces, but not well enough to recognise them, or understand body language.
@gaianoor (1118)
• Tirana, Albania
17 Jan 18
@danishcanadian i agree partially, i don`t have the time to know all the people around me, and this is something that will make it easy to communicate with them. It cost me nothing to give a smile and ask a question to make her comfortable to serve me better. Maybe it`s just something mine.
@BarBaraPrz (45226)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
17 Jan 18
I don't know... must be something in the way I look, but I am rarely chatted up by service people.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Jan 18
You are so VERY VERY LUCKY!!!!! Whatever it is, treasure it!!!
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45226)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
18 Jan 18
@maezee (42003)
• United States
17 Jan 18
I agree. It does get overly tedious but in a way I like the pretend friendliness. Then again, Im from Minnesota and we are known for that. Lol
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Jan 18
You'd make a heck of a Canadian. LOL I have never been one to "pretend." For me pretending is akin to lying.
@marlina (154183)
• Canada
19 Jan 18
I do not enjoy small talks at all in real life.
@Fleura (28957)
• United Kingdom
17 Jan 18
I'm kind of in between, a little bit of chat while packing my supermarket bags feels more comfortable than just a stony silence while they wait, but I don't go in for a long conversation at the hairdresser's, for example.
• Canada
18 Jan 18
Interesting! My hair dresser is a friend of mine, but the last time I was at her office there was a lot of noise in there, so chat was impossible. At least when I'm there, I'm sitting down. LOL
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21615)
• Canada
18 Jan 18
Small talk is a great ice breaker. Most people don't just get to the point...a friendly greeting isn't small talk...but simply that a friendly greeting. You only need to say fine when someone asks how you are.
• Canada
20 Jan 18
"Hi!" is a greeting. When people start asking me how I am, that's poking into my business. For me that's kindof a no-win situation. When it's insincere and just something you say, what's the point. The rest of the time, it's really none of a stranger's business. Why do we need ice broken? Standing at the check out really isn't (or shouldn't be) an awkward situation.
@Morleyhunt (21615)
• Canada
20 Jan 18
@danishcanadian and how do you know they don't care. I had a business. I needed to greet a customer when they entered. Hi, how are you was always safe. Discussing the weather...good or bad was also good. Silence was deafening...if you don't feel like responding...don't?