do you still have a few things left by youre late loved ones?

Philippines
January 27, 2018 10:24pm CST
my dad just had his first year death anniversary last january.15 this year. thats the other reason why my mom and sister came to help me out. we call it "babang luksa" here which is the end of grief in english. actually my mom and sister somehow can get away with the memories not definitely me as im still here on this house where i lived with my dad for 34 years. theres a culture here as well to get rid of the dead ones belongings especially the one he/she almost wears or used. so we sort this out, some are given away. at first i dont feel like giving it i want to get it back in my room but my uncle said theres no point and just move on as he's already dead. . okay so i know whats his favorite home clothes and the one he often used when going out. those are already given out. i already kept one of his coat and the one on the pic which is the sando i bought to him during his last months where he is very happy and clapping at that time when he saw it and his clutch bag when he bought himself while were young as you notice it looks very old. i am not sure if i will give it away. i feel like still keeping it. my dad died at 77yrs old last year jan.15 parkinsons diease whats youre point on this?
31 people like this
19 responses
@hereandthere (30985)
• Philippines
28 Jan
just because it's easier for your mother and your sister to move on doesn't mean you have to be like them. don't let yourself be pressured by others. your relationship with your father is different from theirs or your uncle's so they just should let you mourn until you're ready to let go.
8 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
it took time yes its none of their business. im the one who still in this house not them
4 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
@Strawberry18 a sando and a wallet doesn't take up a lot of space, either, so it shouldn't be a big deal.
4 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
@hereandthere i wanna take it back some of what my mom and uncle given away last week. i have the right to get it back
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (66089)
• United States
28 Jan
Sorry for your loss.. People I know keep things that belonged to their loved ones. I have a workshirt of my grandfathers and my mom has a jean jacket of my cousins he left here when doing laundry before he passed. I'm sure it'd be harder with the fact you lived with your dad though. Like it would be for me if my mom or brother passed..
7 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
yes since i was a kid, really hard though
4 people like this
@Courtlynn (66089)
• United States
28 Jan
@Strawberry18 im sure.
4 people like this
@louievill (18641)
• Philippines
28 Jan
I have my dad's gold ring with tektite stone given to him by my grandfather when he was 16 and he gave it to me when I was 17 years old.
5 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
wow at least he gives it to you so no need to give that away
3 people like this
@louievill (18641)
• Philippines
28 Jan
@Strawberry18 none of my two sons is keen on wearing a ring but I would probably give it to one of them when I see they are responsible enough to keep family heirloom.
4 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
@louievill i see, thanks
3 people like this
@mandala100 (43265)
• Hong Kong
28 Jan
@Strawberry18 Only the pictures my friend.
3 people like this
• Philippines
29 Jan
Oh ok thanks
2 people like this
@mandala100 (43265)
• Hong Kong
29 Jan
@Strawberry18 No worries my friend.
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Jan
1 person likes this
@cintol (6309)
• United States
29 Jan
So sorry about your dad, my father had Parkinson's as well and we lost him 9 yrs ago. My son passed a little under 2 yrs ago and I did keep some of his shirts that he loved the most. With those we made pillows, I put him through culinary school so my daughter had one of his chef shirts I bought him made into a pillow for me. It sits in my chair in the living room and helps me feel a little closer to him when i sit with it. My grand daughter loves to hug and hold it too, she says it makes her feel closer to her daddy. Nothing wrong with keeping something of someone you loved so much.
3 people like this
@LovelyxOdd (1192)
• United States
29 Jan
I have my grandmother's vanity table. It's in my room and I use it for my makeup and what not. It's not valuable or an antique, but it was hers so it has meaning to me.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (99194)
• United States
28 Jan
I have things that have belonged to many of my family. We tend to hold on to too many things. Memories, you always have. I like to have things family hand crafted, crocheted or sewed or even built. Dad is still living. I am not sure I would keep any of his clothes, but I know of people who do keep favorite clothes. One thing they do is have some decorative items made from those clothes, like a throw pillow out of a shirt.My husband has a coin bag that was his mother's. That coin bag was made out of a pair of work boots that hubby bought at 14 years old and outgrew. His dad wore them til they wore out and then made the coin bag out of the leather for his mom.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (123170)
• Bunbury, Australia
28 Jan
I would certainly keep whatever you want to keep. Just because we keep things doesn't mean we aren't 'moving on' with our lives. Everyone is different and what isn't important to your uncle might bring you a lot of comfort. I'm sorry you've lost your father.
2 people like this
• Philippines
28 Jan
yes i dont listen to my uncle im old enough to decide
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan
thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
• Dallas, Texas
29 Jan
You should keep it. I have several items of my Mom and Dad. I will keep them forever if I can. I will also keep the images of them in my mind forever also. 77 was the age my Dad passed away in the year 2002. Nobody else can feel the way you feel about it. It is a very personal thing to you and I fully understand.
2 people like this
@Ithink (10673)
• United States
29 Jan
I'm so sorry for your loss, I say keep what you feel you need right now. I have a few of my dads things as so does our daughter Tessa. They were super close so she has everything he ever gave her plus things we thought she might want when he passed. It is hard.
2 people like this
@cttolledo (4452)
• Philippines
28 Jan
Sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and to your family. Maybe if keeping his things with you is your way to overcome your grief, then its okay. Hope it will help you to move on.
2 people like this
@allen0187 (33125)
• Philippines
28 Jan
People grieve differently. You take as much time as you want but in the end you have to let go and face the reality that your father is in a better place now. If you want to keep any items that belonged to your father, go ahead and keep it.
2 people like this
@wongchoiyee (7348)
• Malaysia
21 Feb
I think I will keep one or two things if my dad pass away, I love him so much.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb
yeah were the same. i guess youre also a daddys girl right?
• Malaysia
21 Feb
@Strawberry18 yes my dad loves me more than my brother since I was small.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb
@wongchoiyee how long is he gone? mine just a year ago.
@dgobucks226 (12105)
16 Apr
Yes I do. I have many of my Mom's paintings which are displayed around my home. Also many old photos taken of my parents.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Apr
@dgobucks226 yes it help us feel that theyre still around
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (12105)
20 Apr
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (3314)
• India
31 Jan
@Strawberry18 I have a few books left by my late grandma.She was a book lover.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Feb
thanks
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (3314)
• India
4 Feb
1 person likes this
@cherigucchi (4767)
• Philippines
8 Mar
I still keep the two small benches that my late father crafted when he was still alive.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Mar
thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@lady1993 (17432)
• Philippines
6 Feb
First of all, i am very sorry for your loss... his disease is quite painful I think it is okay to keep some of the belongings, but not all... because no matter how it hurts when you see a dearly departed one's belonging, it can also bring happiness
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Feb
Thats why i still kept a few of his things because i still feel that he's still here despite
• Austin, Texas
1 Feb
My mother had photo albums and I managed to get my hands on one.
• United States
29 Jan
I kept quite a few of my daddys t-shirts and sweat pants, and of course ALL of his art craft stuff BUT mom and I did donate quite a bit of the stuff we could not find use for like old rusty tools or books neither of us would read. I find it comforting to still wear something of his even he has passed over 5 years ago . . .